Experience of WI/WO needed - 4am waking - what if he doesnt go back to sleep?!

[katiepierce]

Hi there,

I am considering using WI/WO for my nearly 14 month LOs NWs. They usually happen once a night anytime between 2.30 - 5am, usually around 4. After what feels like months of various illnesses we have fallen into the trap of feeding milk in the night as a quick fix. Unfortunately it seems to have become an issue and doesnt even work anymore anyway! I think its time to get tough. He doesnt seem ill at the moment, I dont think he's teething (although still only has 4 teeth so I suppose he could be) and he's eating well. He self soothes for naps and bedtime no problem.

I was wondering if anyone had used WI/WO for a simular issue and would mind sharing their experiences. My main concern is he's a spirited little thing and I worry that he'll really fight me on it and not go back to sleep at all! Say he wakes at 4 and I begin WI/WO, what if he doesnt go back to sleep at all? If we reach say 6.30 do I just get him up and start the day?

We have recently moved to one nap and our days seem to be going well. He typically does a 2hr 20 min nap starting between 11.20/12. He is usually in bed for 6.30.

If he doesnt go back to sleep would I go back to offering a morning nap? What time and how long? Obviously there is no way he could make it till 11.30 - thats 7.5 hours! What would I do in this situation?

Would really love some advise, thanks girls. XX

[j.and.e]

my lo often wakes pre 5.30. I used wi.wo for NWs and settling at BT but never found it any gd for EWs. He just keeps crying, pointing 2door etc until i get him up. Now i just snuggle him as long as poss then get up for the day. I hope to fix it (or at least get thru 2DLS!) Gd luck. Let us know how u get on Xx

[*Becky*]

can you post your routine in EAS format for me to take a look.
xx

[katiepierce]

That was our experience last night J.and.E,

He settled fab at 6.30, woke at 12.30, did WI/WO only twice and he resettled. He then woke again at 2, did it again only 3 times and he resettled. Was so amazed! Think maybe with all the patting and milk giving and cuddling I've just been keeping him awake  

BUT he woke again at 5.30 : ( This time however he wasnt crying but chatting and singing   I didnt go in because I think WI/WO is supposed to be done only when crying??? But he didnt resettle, I gave his morning milk at 6.15 and thought he might drift back off but he didnt. Ugh.

So got him up at 7am like usual and started the day, put him down for a morning nap at 9.40 even though we've dropped this and he settles at 9.55. Will give him 20 mins I think. Not sure what time to do the afternoon nap?

Our usual 1 nap EASY is -

Wake 6.30/7

7 - up and milk

8.30 - good size breakie

11ish - lunch

11.30/12 - nap

2/2.30 - wake and snack

5 - large dinner

6 - bath, bedtime routine and milk

asleep for 6.30/7


So questions -

1. With 20 min am nap 9.55 - 1.15, what time should pm nap be?

2. WI/WO worked for NW but seemed to give us an EMW, was I right just to leave him chatting? Should I have gone in?

3. Its now our policy not to give morning milk until 6am earliest - this morning we then left him in cot to see if he'd go back off. Do you think this is okay or will giving milk in the cot at all effect the success of WI/WO?

Any help would be amazing!

X

[*Becky*]

ok well on his normal routine that you posted I think he could be UT and need more A time before bed. Is he doing 2.5 hours most days? That is a very good nap. I would push bedtime back to more like 7.30pm. Waking at 5.30am may be a pain but he has had 11 hours sleep so you cannot expect more really and WIWO will not work for an UT LO.

answering your questions...
1. I would go for pm nap at about 12.30 but you will need to go a bit by his cues tbh.
2. Yes you are right to leave them if they are just chatting. WIWO will not work if lo is UT.
3. I would not give milk until a set time like 6am as you are doing. I would decide what time is suitable to start the day and give milk then once he is up, not in the cot.

xx

[katiepierce]

Thanks for your advice,

Yeah he does do great naps of between 2 and 3 hours practically every day, usually around 2.20/2.30. I agree with what you are saying and we were doing longer A to bed initially when he was sttn for 12 hours and this worked fine. However, he has recently been doing looooonng NW's (2hrs) which is why we started WI/WO. I guess because of these NWs he has been super tired in the day. He will literally be yawning and rubbing eyes and cranky 2.5 hours after his long nap. I know an 11hr night is fine but he had 2 WI/WO NWs so it wasnt undisrupted sleep you know? Do you think I'm creating a vicious cycle and should hold him off on a later bedtime even if he is clearly tired?

XX

[*Becky*]

Do you think he is teething?

[katiepierce]

I dont think so but then he does only have 4 teeth so he could well be! Being able to get him back to sleep so quickly using WI/WO and no milk or meds last night though suggests he's not. No signs in the day either.

I guess I'm just abit torn as to which way to play everything as seem to be in a bit of an OT/UT loop. Perhaps he needs the extra A but cant really handle it because of the NWs.

X

[*Becky*]

Perhaps he needs the extra A but cant really handle it because of the NWs.

yes I would think this is the case.

If he does a good nap personally I would push bedtime a bit as he should be pretty rested after that.

[katiepierce]

Thanks Becky - Fingers crossed for a good one so we can push that bedtime on a bit : )

X

[*Becky*]

keep me posted xx

[katiepierce]

Ok so 2 naps has worked out pretty well for us today (I hope not too well!)

He did 9.55 - 10.15 then 1.10 - 3.30.

So, bearing in mind that he was up for the day at 5.30 having had 2 NWs what time would you do bedtime? 7? 7.30? The day is getting too long surely if I do later than this??

XX

[*Becky*]

I would do 7.30pm and aim for just one nap tomorrow. xx

[katiepierce]

Yes I agree (I think!) Fingers crossed...again! Xx

[katiepierce]

I'm sitting here crying in frustration. Have been doing WI/WO since 4.30, he's still awake. Just sent DH in with a bottle to see if he'll settle, I know we shouldn't but how can we make a day work with a 4.30 start?