Night Wakings related to Seperation Anxiety?

[emzi]

Hi There,
Ok sorry if this is wrong my mind is mush at the mo!

Sunday- Woke at 7.30am, pretty much refused much breakfast. Lunch at 12.00pm, played until 1.30pm where we went for a walk. 2.30pm fell asleep for 1hr, 4pm Tea, 6.50pm bedtime routine as she started to yawn.
Fell asleep for 7.30pm. Woke at 11pm, went in straight away to comfort and used PU/PD, took 20 mins to re-settle. 3am woke, went in straight away to comfort and used PU/PD, took 20 mins to re-settle. 5am wanted to get up for the day. Dozed on and off until 7am then woke up grumpy ready for Nursery.

Today- Slept for 1 hour ( 2 x 30 mins last one 1.30-2pm)
Began bedtime routine 5.45pm, Bed by 6.15pm. Slept until 7pm, woke up.. comforted then slept until now (7.45pm) am leaving it a few minutes but think im in for a REALLY fun night.... at my wits end

[Shiv52]

 

[Shiv52]

Posted with you xx

I think she is OT by the time bedtime comes around.

Early evening wakenings are most often OT.   

Does she normally nap so badly at nursery?   Is her daytime nap at home normally an hour? 

[emzi]

Hi All,

So I took DD to the HV yesterday to get some advice who suggested I try the CIO technique and gradullay go and check on her. So I did last night, it absolutely broke my heart but I physically and emotionally cannot go one holding her above her cot for hours hoping she will drift off. 4-5 night wakings were killing us all as a family.
So last night:
Bed for 6.50pm- CIO until 8.10pm (checked numerous occasions and laid her down, gave her her dummy)
Woke 1.45am- CIO until 3.00am (checked 4 times and reassured)
Woke 4.00am- CIO until 4.20am settled herself
Woke 6.30am- Took her out of the cot and she fell asleep in my arms.

Although me and my OH were in bits listening to her last night, ive already dropped 2 night wakings and the fact I have been in bed and not stood up in her room are an improvement. Just need the courage to carry on with night 2!!!

[Shiv52]

Hun I really really advise you to not leave your LO to CIO.  HVs should not be allowed to recommend it IMHO. 

At BW we cannot and do not condone CIO.   CIO will break the trust your LO has in you. is there a reason you hold her above her cot rather than sit beside her or do WI/WO?  We can certainly help you with gentler methods to help you help your LO sleep but if you want to continue with CIO that is not something we can help with. 

{{{hugs}}}

[Shiv52]

I have been helping on this thread and thought you might want to have a read:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=225302.15

This mum has been doing CIO and her LO now won;'t be alone during the day or let her leave his side.  Kara has put some good info and links on CIO on there too. 

[Fiver]

I totally, totally get the desperation of interrupted nights, but when I think about CIO I always consider whether I would find it acceptable to leave my baby to cry for a prolonged period of time during the day.  If not, why would I think it was ok to do so overnight?  They're still so tiny and learning about how to sleep and when to sleep.  It looks like you were having some success with PU/PD (top of page), is there any reason you switched (apart from HV)?

[Khalam's Mama]

ITA with Shiv. Tracy always felt there were much gentler methods to help teach settling skills. The thing to remember is while it is easier for you it is not easier for LO. She stops crying because she is exhausted and she is learning no one comes anyway. She isn't learning settling skills at all. It may mean you get more sleep for a while but you will pay for it with other issues later more than likely.
Trust your gut instinct and teach your baby in a way you are comfortable with not one that breaks your heart.
Have a read of these so you can make an informed decision at least.
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=163042.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63839.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=211289.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=77626.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=224729.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=222275.0

[emzi]

Thanks all will give it a read, I will try anything that is BEST for Ruby in the long run and our family. Only really thought about CIO after thats what the HV insisted I did yesterday. She was rubbishing everything I had done previous with the PU/PD and the WI/WO.


So confusing!!!!!

[Bex09]

I totally agree with the other ladies hun. As Shiv said originally, CIO will just make any SA 100 times worse, to the point where your days will be awful too due to your LO thinking that if you move from her side you are going to leave her for good. I totally get how hard the sleep deprevation is hun but there are more gentle ways for you and your DD.

I can certainly help with GW if you want, as we used that with our DD at 14 mo and it worked great for us. Let me know?

[Khalam's Mama]

Personally my HV rubbishes BF so there you go. TBH I always take what they say with a pinch of salt because it is up to them to keep themselves up to date with research etc. I bet if you quoted the recent evidence for not doing CIO she would be completely unaware.
If you just put a bowl of food infront of LO and refused to help by cutting it appropriately etc they would probably cry in hunger and would eventually learn how to eat it but you would still help in the meantime rather than have them cry for hours I imagine. Sleep is the same. I think if we didn't need sleep too we would be lessed stressed about sleeping issues and lots of people would be less likely to do CIO. It is hard (I know I haven't slept well in months) but parenting is and as you say you have to find the best way to help, it is our job as a parent.

[*Kara*]

Hugs hun...

I see that some of the ladies have posted a link to our story - please read it... even if you don't have the time to read the others now, read my story.  Believe me when I say that *nothing* shakes you to the core like breaking the trust your child has in you to take care of them.  I still cry when I think about it.

[*Becky*]

many hugs. Yes my HV told me to do the same thing but it really will be worth following gentle sleep training in the long run. xxx

[amayzie]

I like to get a chair next to the cot so that i am set up and comfortable for the long haul- you have to look after your back/arms! You are much more likely to be able to put in the hard yards if you are not thinking your arms are going to fall off!

[Shiv52]

I agree.  we had a chair too!  And at this age you don't PU, its only really PD and only if they are very upset.  Otherwise you leave them to it.  And there will be crying but if you are sitting there they know you are there and they are not alone. 

Hows it going hun?