19 mos old refusing meals question...advice needed

[lily528]

My dd will often refuse her meals even ones that she has loved just days ago.  I always get nervous and offer her an earth's best organic yogurt pouch or gerber graduates toddler fruit/veggie puree feeling like she is at least eating SOMETHING and getting nutrients but I'm starting to think I need to just let it go and let her realize she isn't just going to get something else if she refuses.  I already make 2 different dinners each night because i have a fairly picky 7 yr old...now sometimes 3 different dinners.  Lunches go a little easier with yogurts, lunchables, grilled cheese, egg salad or nuggets.  but dinners, cooked chicken or pork or even pasta she is refusing now...just not sure what to do...I can't go the next 10 years making whatever each person wants...this has to stop...

I respect the right to not like something...my son i feel is old enough to say I don't like that and I won't force him to eat AS LONG AS HE TRIES IT that is.  However, at 19 mos old I don't feel she is in that position and needs to try things and broaden the diversity of her foods you know?

Any help is appreciated

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs, no advice but in the same boat with my 18 mth old!! His is always dinner that is the hard one to get in him I think molar teething has a lot to do with it though

[Lemonthyme]

I'm pretty lucky.  the fussy periods my son has gone through have been pretty short but when he is being a fusspot, I tend to keep 'safe' meals for the evening which I know he will eat and cook something different for lunchtime.  He also gets offered fruit and either plain yoghurt with a tsp honey or no added sugar homemade jelly or cakes at lunch at tea.  That way, it's very rare to get a flat refusal. 

Could it be the timing of meals?  My son still can't have meals at normal times as he's exhausted by midday (so we have lunch together at 11:30am) and he wants tea around 4:30pm (so he has his tea with me just sat with him).  There's no way he could last till 5:30 or 6 even though that would mean at least two of us could eat together.

Alternatively could be teeth.  I'd just come up with a few selections for a meal though and if she eats she eats.  Perhaps give her some choices, e.g. for fruit do you want apple or banana?  She might feel more in control?

[ZacsMumme]

I think LT has a good point with timing, I've tried all times, but I'm so sure our issues are teeth given Z has two molars cutting.

I know if I let Z snack too much in the pm (usually when he is with his nan) then he isn't hungry for tea and can't be bothered with it.

If you suspect teeth maybe try medicating before tea and seeing if it helps. Or offering something gentle on teeth, for us pumpkin risotto always wins or as LT says yogurt!

[Texomamama]

Good advise above- try to medicate before meals and wait it out (if it is teething) and play around with timing if he is not hungry at dinner time.

We all go through this.  I have an almost 19 mo and a 4.5 yo that is a light eater, so dinners can be an issue.  Nothing more disheartening that working hard to make something and having it not eaten.  Not sure about you, but I then have to contend with DH's strong opinions about them "eating what we have made or nothing at all".  Personally, I don't like to set everyone up for failure like that.  Perhaps you can find some middle ground by offering one thing that you know he likes.  That way, you get something into him, but don't go so far as to cook another meal for him.

[lily528]

thanks everyone...she is doing a little better if I get her to just take one bite she usually will then eat the rest without my having to push at all. I think she is just trying out how much control she has....she'll eat other things like fruit or a snack no problem so I don't think it's anything other than her not wanting to and hoping she gets something else lol