Four S Ritual Questions - 5 mos old

[MegsMom]

Just looking for some clarity on the Four S ritual.

My daughter is 5 mos old and we are trying to get her to go to sleep on her own.

Some background: I think we have a pretty good routine for setting the stage.  I am not swaddling and instead she is sleeping in a sleep sack.  I do sit with her for about 5 minutes and usually during nap times, she either completely falls asleep at the 5 minute mark or is very, very, very drowsy and promptly goes to sleep in her crib.  My problem is with the shush pat at bed time.

So...here are the Q's:
1. Because she is 5 mos old, am I suppose to shush pat when I put her down at night and she is not settling - she often becomes fully awake? (I noticed in the book it says the shushing is only for 3 mos or older when it is in the ear - Do I just shush into the air?)
2. She often becomes fully awake when I place her in the crib for bedtime (even though she is drowsy in my arms).....Her eyes suddenly become wide and her limbs start flailing and she is cooing, babbling and rolling onto her tummy (she can't roll back), at this point, do I start the "setting the stage" and "sitting" all over again?
3. When / Does the shush / pat come into play for a 5 mos. old?

Thanks!!

[*Ali*]

If she is actually fallling asleep during the sitting then I would cut that right back so she isn't so sleepy. Maybe just sit for 1 minute instead.

You only need to shh pat if she is fussing. Give her the chance to settle herself if she will. If you find the shh is disrupting her sleep now she may prefer you to just whisper your sleepy phrase and use a firm hand on her. If you shh you can just do it in the air or past the ear, never into the ear.

No you don't start the sitting etc. again if she wakes up as you put her in you just wait and see if she can settle herself or you ssh/pat (or whatever alternative you find she likes) if she fusses.

Hth. Let us know if you have any more questions.

[MegsMom]

Thanks so much for this.  I will give it a try!

[*Ali*]

[MegsMom]

Ok....quick question.  I hope I'm doing this right....
So today after our wind down, I've been holding her for about 2 minutes for a little snuggle, so that she is drowsy, then I've been picking her up and putting her in her crib.  I've sat in her room as she coos and rolls around (I have to keep rolling her back to her tummy cuz she gets upset and can't do it alone)....then when she starts to fuss, I just put my hand on her chest and say "It's ok, it's sleepy time" while keeping my hand on her and repeat, repeat, repeat.....  When she becomes very quiet and her eyes are closed, I have been leaving my hand on her chest for about 10 min and she has stayed down.  Is that right?  Keeping my hand there is not a prop is it?  It's taken me 25 min the first time and about 35 min the next time...I'm hoping it will start to be less and less time.  I hope I can keep this up

[*Ali*]

What you are doing sounds like a great start but yes it is important that you try to take your hand away a little earlier each time or it will become a prop.

[MegsMom]

Ok...so it's been a few days and I have her falling asleep in her crib...but I need some help tweaking what I'm doing.
I am doing the whole wind down ritual, then sitting with her for about 2 minutes and then putting her in her crib. She is content and doesn't cry or fuss...so, I've been leaving the room...then she starts to kind of whine / moan....so I go back in give her the soother (she needs me to put the soother back in because she hasn't mastered it on her own yet) and say "sleepy" time and try to rub her back...she thinks it's time to play.....so I leave......this can happen 4 - 5 times (30+minutes) before she decides she'll go to sleep, so I put my hand on her back and just keep saying sleepy time while she is on her side...then I leave in about 5-10 minutes because she is fully asleep. 
I'm thrilled I've got her falling asleep in her crib...but worried I've given her new props....

[*Ali*]

Yes the dummy is a prop if she needs you to replug it. Some people are happy doing this until Lo masters replugging it herself. We took the dummy away at 7mo and he was still in a woombie so couldn't replug. It's up to you what you would like to do about that.

Do you think she is definitely tired enough if she is playing when you lie her in the cot? What if instead of leaving you just sat across the room but facing away and whispered when she fusses? That might be easier to wean than the rubbing and to and froing.