Need Help with NW

[becj86]

I'd do an early nap, see what time she wakes - if she does another short nap, stick in another nap but if she naps well - 1.5-2hr or more, do an early bedtime and see if she'll tack on. Often when its 'morning' you're not in the same mindset when resettling - even just thinking I hope we don't end up with such an early start to the day is quite different from its still night time, still time to be sleeping, yk?

[MommySteezy]

Gotcha - makes sense. What time do you think I should put her down for the nap? Around 10:30?

[becj86]

About 4hr A time...

[MommySteezy]

I ended up doing a longer A time because she wasn't acting sleepy at all. I was thinking more around a 5 hour A time, so I tried giving her lunch before her nap around 11:00 and she started eating but then just acted really fussy and tired. SO we scrapped lunch and I laid her down for a nap at 11:29. She woke up after 58 mins and I was able to get her back to sleep until about 1:30. She did fine with the rest of the day but I could tell she was getting sleepy early in the evening. I am not used to this early schedule so I goofed a little and laid her down for bed a little later than I should have. She was in the bed asleep at 7:09. She woke up 36 mins later (OT, no doubt) BUT - she slept for 8 hr and 38 mins after that!! That is the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep we have had in a while!
She woke up at 4:30 and was VERY hard to get back down. She was wiggling her little legs, clapping, etc. I did not play with her and let her know that it was still time to be sleeping. It took me about an hour and she finally fell asleep after nursing and slept until 9:00 this morning.
Is it possible that since she has not had that much consecutive sleep in a while that she felt 'tapped out' on sleep? Will she eventually catch up to this?

[becj86]

When LO's wake early after a short night because they were OT at bedtime, they can be really hard to get back down but you did the right thing - longer night sleep will catch her up better than more naps because the consolidated sleep is more restorative.

I said 4hr based on the short night

[MommySteezy]

I'm not sure what to think.... There definitely haven't been 1 hour long battles when I try to get her to bed. Her naps still aren't stretching to the 1.5-2 hour mark like I wish they would. I think maybe I am putting her down a little early? Wednesday she only napped for 42 mins (put down after about 4.5 hours) and Thursday she only napped for 46 mins (put down after almost 5 hours). When we try to put her back down she acts silly and will not go back down. Today she slept for 1hr 2 mins. Also, she is waking up around 3-4 am and acts like she is ready to go for the day. When she would fight sleep and ended up going down way too late (like around 9:30) thats about how much sleep she was getting (around 9 hours). I am wondering if since her body was functioning on so little sleep for a while since she started fighting if she wakes up after that amount of time feeling ready to go. It seems like she is trying to be cooperative bc she will lay and try to get back to sleep but she just doesn't. She'll sit up and clap or make noises and talk to us. It takes me at least an hour to get her back to sleep and Thursday night I was up with her from 2:45-5:30 
I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I should stick with it since we have seen some progress and her body will eventually catch up, or if I am doing it wrong AGAIN. I really wish I could figure this out. I want so badly for her to sleep through the night. 

[becj86]

This sounds like she's quite OT. Having just been there when DS was so OT he couldn't make it through a transition, I'd try a 4.5hr A time first up in the morning, nap (APOP to get some sleep into her if you can) and do a really early bedtime and force a long night. We did BT at 4:30pm and DSS slept til 2:30 then it was obviously dark outside and I took DS to see Daddy still sleeping and to see how dark it was outside and said there's no people outside to play with but if he goes to sleep, he can wake up in the day time and can play with his friends. He seemed convinced by that and went back to sleep much easier than he had for a few days and slept til 7am. He was much better after that long night.

[MommySteezy]

What is apop? Im pretty sure the ap means Accidental parenting but not sure about the op. Does this mean I should have her nap with me after the 4.5 hours just to get some good napping in her? Or should I lay her down as usual and ap when she wakes up early? When she wakes up at 3-4 I don't talk to her interact at all aside from eventually saying "sleepy time" or shushing her.
I am so torn because if she is very OT then I wonder why I am doin only 1 nap but 2 naps just wasn't working and right now she is getting more cumulative sleep than she has in a while.

[becj86]

Accidental Parenting on Purpose Yes, basically in my opinion, she's so OT she needs to get sleep however it happens so her body can get back to normal, then you can get her independent sleep back on track - often it will come back without any trouble once LO is not so overtired.

What you're looking to do is get her to sleep through a transition or two. We turned a corner when DS slept for 3hr during the day - I just left him to sleep because he was so OT. We then did a 'normal' first A, one nap, a shorter second A of ~3.5-4hr and put him in bed for the night at 4:30.

You're doing a very short day - only 10hr or so, so that she can have a long night and recover from the OT, that's why only the one nap. No point lengthening the day when her naps aren't restoring her.

[MommySteezy]

I have done the APOP for her nap for about 3-4 days now. She is pretty consistently waking up from independent sleep after just around an hour (usually 55 mins to and hour, something like that). I am able to APOP the rest of her nap and get her to sleep at least 2 hours, most days more. The problem is, I don't think the extended sleep is really refreshing her. She doesn't seem to be comfortable laying in my arms, like she does when she is just laying in bed. A couple of nights she has gone back to the fighting sleep again. It is like she isn't tired yet, so she'll try to nurse and calm down but she'll start kicking her legs. A couple of times she has just stopped nursing and started talking. Pointing to the ceiling and saying "up, up". Maybe since she is getting longer naps I need to stretch the A time more? I don't know. I feel so lost. A part of me wonders if I just need to go back to 2 naps, but its not like that was working for us either though. Having a bad day today...

[becj86]

Hugs! Its tricky at this age, it really is.

Maybe since she is getting longer naps I need to stretch the A time more?

Yeah, having APOP'd sleep into her for 3-4 days, she can probably do more A time and extend that nap herself now if you can find the sweet spot with the A time. Try 15mins more and hold it for a few days, then go a bit more if still short UT napping...

[MommySteezy]

WORST. NIGHT. EVER. Seriously - no exaggerating - last night was hands down the worst night we have had with C to date. I have no earthly idea what happened. She had a good nap during the day (1 hour and 2 min of independent napping followed by 1 hour and 45 min of APOP napping). She went down pretty easily without fight for the night and then woke up 3 hours later, which has been pretty common, still. My husband went in to put her back down and when he tried she began crying and screaming uncontrollably. It was awful sounding. I didn't go in because I don't want her (or him) to think I am playing "mommy to the rescue". He said at first she did it when he tried to put her in her crib, it was almost like a hurt cry. That really high pitched, gasping for air kinda cry. After that, she did it when he tried to sit down in the glider with her. Then, she just became almost impossible to soothe. I heard him talking to her and saying her name and turning the light on and even then it took him a while to finally get her calmed down. He eventually just brought her to bed with us and at first it seemed that she would go right to sleep. Then, after about 10 minutes she started talking and playing. I ignored and said night time phrases like "sleepy time" and resettled her back in the bed when she sat up. DIDN'T. WORK. After I while I said "good night" and rolled over and had my husband do the same so neither of us were facing her, thinking she would get the message and settle to sleep. NOPE. She continued to play and tried to roll both of us over. At that point, I took her back in to her room to try to rock her. She acted like she might settle again, sucking on her thumb, laying in my arms, but she didn't. She kept trying to rearrange herself or sit up. She would lay her head down for a little bit and then pop back up. After a while I got her somewhat settled (I thought) but it seemed like she was just uncomfortable in my arms so I brought her back to our bed. NOPE. She did the same thing she did before. Finally, after hours of trying I decided to just take her on a car ride. She usually falls asleep pretty easily in the car and at that point I couldn't think of any other option. So, I strapped her in the car and we drove. and drove. and drove. At first she was very quiet and I thought she might fall asleep right away. I turned around and checked a couple of times because she was quiet. But she was just looking out the window. After about 30 minutes she started talking and singing. I ignored. Finally, after an HOUR of driving, it seemed like she was finally asleep. I came home, pulled in the driveway, got her out of the car. When I undid the straps she fussed a little but that is pretty normal. Then, when I was walking inside, she picked her head up and started talking again. I laid her head back down and said "sleepy time". I went to her nursery and rocked her for a little bit and she seemed asleep. I tried laying her in her crib and the second I lowered her down she put her arms down to stop it and then sat up. I got her out of her crib, rocked her for a little bit longer until she was sleepy again and tried bringing her back to bed. See last 2 attempts for results. My husband took her into the nursery so I could at least get a little bit of sleep. He put her down on the floor in the nursery and she acted like it was morning time, playing talking, singing. I just laid in bed and cried, and cried, and cried some more. He said that eventually he turned out the light and got her in the glider with him and she fell asleep at about 4:30. After almost 6 HOURS. He fell asleep too and brought her to bed around 6:30. When he laid her down initially she acted like she was going to wake up but I was able to keep her asleep and we both slept this morning until about 8:45. You would think she would be groggy and out of it (kind of like I am...) but she ate breakfast just fine, and has been playing since we got up. So far, no real fussiness or yawns...(from her). Me, on the other hand....not so much. I am exhausted. I am sad. I am angry. More than anything I am confused. How did this happen? How did it get this bad? What do I do? So many times last night I found myself wishing I was okay with just letting her CIO. I can't keep this up. I am pretty sure I am on the verge of a complete emotional meltdown. Please help. I never in a million years thought I would be this bad at this. 

[becj86]

More than anything I am confused.

Me too! This is out of my experience base. I will see if I can get some extra eyes on your thread, hon.

I never in a million years thought I would be this bad at this.

YOU are not bad at anything. You're doing just what the rest of us do, our very best to figure out our little enigmas.

FWIW, DS had the worst month sleep-wise between 11.5 and 12.5 months and now he's back to being pretty good. It was a wild and exhausting ride, but we did make it through. I wonder if she is going through some things developmentally? DS had a massive word explosion around this age and went through some pretty wicked separation anxiety too.

Hugs xx

[becj86]

What's her EASY now? I'm reading you having one nap of around 2hr45... maybe I'm wrong?

[MommySteezy]

Well, I have to say I am relieved and kinda nervous at the same time that you are confused too! Hopefully some new eyes will be able to shed some light on the situation.

Thanks for the encouraging words . It really does help. I just want so badly for her to be a good sleeper and some days it feels like I will just never, ever get there.

And , yes - developmentally, we have a LOT going on! She is walking all over the place (has been for about 2 months now, but you know how that goes, every day a little faster. Yesterday, it seemed like she was actually running from place to place. She is in a word explosion right now, too. She picks up on a new word almost every day and is mimicking a lot of the words and sounds I am making as well.
As far as separation anxiety goes, we have been fighting that monster for quite awhile. I did a bad job of feeding it for a very long time because I was so uptight about her napping schedule and didn't really leave her with any one. We still don't leave her with people often enough. My husband and I haven't been on a date since December... I know we need to just bite the bullet and start leaving her with people more often, but she cries almost the whole time we are gone, and I feel guilty for both her and the people watching her. Sometimes she even cries when I walk out the door to go somewhere and leave her with my husband.

As far as her EASY goes - Here is what her Tuesday (worst night ever) looked like
7:40 - Awake (in our bed)
Breakfast
Activity: went to a Gymboree class after breakfast, came home and played for a little bit
~11:45 - Lunch
12:49-3:45 - Nap
After Lunch we went on a little stroll around the neighborhood and then came inside for a nap. She was pretty easy to put down (<5min). She was in bed asleep at 12:49 and napped independently for 1 hour and 2 mins. I APOP'd the rest of her nap and she ended up sleeping with me (in the glider at first and then eventually in our bed) for another hour and 45 mins and woke up at 3:45 (total of 2 hours and 47 mins). She might have even slept longer, but I was moving around and she woke up.
~4:00 - Snack
Activity: Nothing super special, just played around the house
~6:00 - Dinner
After dinner we went on a short stroll and then came in, changed into pjs (She was fussy during PJ changing, but she almost always is). Then I nursed her and when I put her to bed she didn't really fight it at all. I would say it took me <5 mins to get her down
8:40 - Asleep in bed
I won't detail all the NWs bc they are laid out in my previous post.

Also, it might help to give you yesterdays EASY too.
9:00 - Awake (in our bed). I let her sleep in bc she had such an awful night, and honestly, I needed the rest too.
~9:15 Breakfast
Activity: Just hung around the house and played mostly. She was very active for the first part of the morning, which surprised me because I felt dead. She did start acting sleepy around 11:30 or so, so I put on Sesame Street (which we NEVER do) and she laid with me on the sofa for a little bit and relaxed and watched together.
~12:30 - Lunch
After lunch we went on a little stroll around the neighborhood and then I brought her inside to take a nap.
Again, pretty easy put down <5mins
1:25 - In bed asleep for nap
She slept independently for 1 hour and 8 mins (a new record for us for the past couple weeks, which is surprising since she had such an awful night the night before....) When she woke up, instead of going right into APOP nap I tried soothing her and getting her back down in the crib. She settled a little bit after the first time but when I laid her down she popped back up. The second time she woke up a little more and on the third time when I picked her up she popped up and started talking and pointing to the door. When I turned on the light she squealed and bounced in my arms.
Snack
Activity: Ran an errand, then came home and played outside
~5:45 Dinner
After dinner I let her play for a little bit while I cleaned up and then we went to take a bath.
After bath we put on pjs, I nursed her and put her down for the night. She was asleep in bed at 6:55
NW1 - 8:06 - Woke up crying pretty hard. I came in, picked her up, shushed and comforted her and laid her back down when she was calm. She was back down and asleep at 8:11
NW2 - 9:08 - This one is thanks to our dog who was super noisy coming up our stairs. (reminder - trim nails so it doesn't sound like a tap dancing brigade when dog comes upstairs). I wish she would sleep through these things but I think it happened right during a transition and she is a light sleeper. In any case, same as before, shushed and comforted, laid down when calm, asleep in bed at 9:13
NW3 - 10:20 - Husband went in, same routine, back down and asleep by 10:23
At 11:40 I thought she was having another NW because I heard her crying so I got up and went in her room but when I got there she was still laying down. I waited for a min to see if she would pop back up but she didn't and ended up soothing herself back to sleep.
Woke up at 5:12 - I went in to get her and nursed her and she fell back asleep in my arms after nursing. I held her for a bit in the glider and then eventually brought her into our bed. She slept until 7:40.

Ok - I know that is a ton of information but hoping it will help shed some light on what is going on. Anxious to hear what you guys think. Thanks for all the help and for listening.