11 month old hysterical at AM nap!!

[Mummy23boys]

Hello all,

I hope you can help me with this one. I know it's the start of the transition of 2-1 but I'm finding it very hard to help my LO. He is 11 months old, he will be 1 this month. We have been having EW for months but we are gradually getting to where we want to be. DS used to wake at 5am and now it's 6am which is great. We have recently moved too and it took ages for him to settle in his own room for naps and bedtime but we sorted that too. So everything was hunky dorey for a while.

Now the past week he is hysterical going in to the cot! And I mean he is not happy! He cries to the point where I can't sooth him and have to take him out of the room completely. I thought I needed to extend his A time so I would keep him up for another little while, then try again. Same thing! And I know he is tired! He could always go 3.5hrs A time and then 4hrs A time in the morning. Now I have no idea when to put him down as it seems he will just go bananas no matter when it is!

For example: today he woke up at 6am, his nap was supposed to be 10am and he refused it completely until he finally gave in at 11.40am!! He then slept for nearly 2 hours. I gave him an early BT as he was really tired. Should I go for this every day from now on? Trying to get 2 naps in maybe every second day?

He has a new tooth that just came up and we are both recovering from a cold!

Here is (used to be) a typical day for us.

WU 6am
Am nap 10am (this is our long nap usually 1.5hrs)
Pm nap 4pm  20 to 30 mins (no longer or we get EW)
Bed 7pm

He is a very spirited baby. He is so curious about everything. He is also on the verge of walking. Does my routine need any tweaking? What do you think?

Thanks a mill  

[ZacsMumme]

Hi Hun, have you tried pushing that am nap out closer to 4.5 hrs A? My guess is he is UT at nap time. If teething I would also try medicating 20 mins before nap time. Hugs

[Mummy23boys]

Hi Zacsmummy,

Yes I have tried that but he's still the same. I always give meds before bedtime when he's teething so I will try giving them to him at nap time as well. He woke at 6am this morn bright as a button and happy as a lark! Will ty a 10.30 naptime and see how it goes! Fingers crossed!!

Thanks for your reply!

[:: ANA ::]

Hi Melissa,
When I read your post I thought it was me who had written it haha
I'm going through exactly the same, so similar you wouldn't believe!
My LO also turns 1 this month, spirited little guy, on the verge of walking, we just moved, EW for a while now (although we're hitting 6:30 now, which is g-l-o-r-y ), and definitely refusing am nap...
Separation anxiety at its max, just in case something was missing!

I've tried extending A time but the result is the same.
I wonder if he's overstimulated by the time I try to put him down (and I'm not doing the right wind-down before his nap), or over tired from so many days without a decent napping routine...

What do you do to put him down for the nap? I mean, minutes before.
And when he refuses it, do you do PU/PD?

Tomorrow I'll try a longer wind-down and see how that goes!

Good luck to you!  

[Mummy23boys]

Hi zacsmumme,

I have tried pushing his A time to 4.5 but the result is the same! He is screaming when he gets in to the cot! I thought it might be separation anxiety but he is only like this at nap time and I always stay with him until he falls asleep so I don't think it's that. Then I though maybe I need to do a longer wind down, or maybe even his story book was stimulating him rather than relaxing him, but no to all that too! I'm lost on this one!

Oh Ana,

It's nice to know someone else out there is going through the same thing! Hopefully we can sort this out together! For my LO wind down as we are going upstairs we point out the clock, the mirror, the light etc. He climbs the stairs himself, with me right behind him. Change nappy, in to sleeping bag, and I sing twinkle twinkle. We then pull down his blind, pull accross the curtain, and turn on his little lamp. Then we read a book and in to cot. And then the fun begins! As I am trying to put him in he is clinging to me like a monkey!

I do PD every time he stands up. Sometimes I will PU a he is crying so hard but sometimes that is worse because when I put him back down he is practically ready to burst!

How did you get on with his longer wind down? I hope you had some success! Best of luck with it!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs...do you think he could have his developmental leap early?
http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php/about-the-wonder-weeks/your-babys-10-leaps/mental-leap-8

Cn you post today's EASY? the crying is ONLY before the nap is that right?

[Mummy23boys]

Hi Sara,

He may have reached his development leap but I can't be sure to be honest. Would that leap make him so resistant to nap time? I forgot to add that he has taken his first steps and is trying to walk all the time. I say another week and I'll be chasing him! Also he likes to fling things around. This may not be relevant but I thought I might say. I now think it may be separation anxiety. The more I'm reading about it the more it seems likely. Although he is absolutely fine when I'm leaving him with family for a few hours.

We seem to be alternating between one nap days and two so here are both. Maybe his routine needs some tweaking? Oh and yes he only cries for naps. Pretty much as soon as we enter the room! Anyhoo, here we go...

One nap day (yesterday)
WU - 6am
AM nap -  should have been 10 or 10.30am. No joy! It was 11.10am to 1.20pm (2hrs 10mins)
BED - asleep for 6pm

Two nap day...
WU - 6am
AM nap - 10.30am to 12 pm (times vary but normally 1.5 hours)
PM nap - 3.30pm to 4pm ( if I leave him sleep more than 30 mins or after 4pm we get EW)
Bed - 6.30ish

Thanks a mill I really appreciate all your help!

[ZacsMumme]

Hun ivehad some trouble with my Internet, ill be back to post in the morning...just quickly though, your days look good! It's a messy time getting to 1 nap. Wad nap issues with Z when he was trying to walk too, like restless legs!

[ZacsMumme]

Developmental leaps an cause fussiness at BT and nap time, and cause NW and EW - it's like a brain GS!
Your days look great, other than the resistance. If TS SA there isn't a lot you can do other than ride it out and work with him ie play lots of peek a boo, cuddles during A time, talking to him as you walk away from him andthen come back.

Howl ong is the resistance going for now? What happens when you PD, just crying...how does he go to sleep in the end? In the cot or your arms?

[Mummy23boys]

Hi ya,

I hadn't a clue about these developmental leaps but the more I read about them today, the more it makes sense. He is walking now, not a lot about four or five steps at a time, he can go from sitting to standing completely on his own, and he's learned how to open doors! So I suppose all this is whizzing around in his head!    And he has the three C's: Cranky, Clingy and Crying!

I now defo think there is SA there too. All he wants is to be up in our arms, especially at sleep time. This has been going on for weeks now. It's very frustrating as he used to go down fine before. I always stay with him until he falls asleep so he knows I'm always there for him. ( although this may be tricky in a few months as I am 5 months pregnant! )
When I do PD he is crying so hard, really upset. I do have to PU a few times to try calm him, but I usually end up taking him out of the room completely as that's when he will eventually calm down. Then we try the cot again. Eventually he will go to sleep, never in my arms as he is too heavy, he is 28lbs!

Today though he woke at 5.30am and I really wanted him to have a 2 nap day. ( I don't mind that he woke at 5.30 as he was asleep since 6pm, I'm just happy he had 11.5hrs sleep!)  My DH had a day off work so I had a sleep on! Yay!  But alas, at nap time DS was having none of it. In the end he took him for a walk in the stroller where he fell asleep almost instantly, so he was obviously tired.

At bedtime DH said he was holding out his hands through the cot trying to touch DH hand or foot or have some kind of contact, or wanting to be picked up. He didn't pick him up but let him feel his foot! It worked! He did eventually fall asleep at 6.30pm. He mooches around for ages in his cot, trying to find the best spot, you know the way a dog would walk round and round his bed to find that comfy spot?, I'm not comparing my son to a dog but it can be so funny to watch! 

So yes maybe I just need to ride it out and hopefully it'll pass. Soon I hope because next I need to work on GW! Or WI/WO! Am dreading it! Will give LO loads and loads of cuddles and play peek a boo and see how it goes!

As always, thanks

Ps. Sorry this is soo long!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs, it will pass.
Does your LO have a lovey? - comfort items are great with helping through rough patches with SA

If he will allow you to hold his hand, or him touch your foot etc you can GW this when you feel the time is right

[Mummy23boys]

Oh I hope it does, and soon! He had two NW last night at 11.30pm and 1.20am. When I went to him I just put my hand on his back and he wet off to sleep again within 10 mins. He never has NW, he would ALWAYS STTN so I hope this isn't the start of a real nightmare!

There isn't anything in paticular that he is attached too. I did buy a nice soft square teddy thing that I'm hoping he will fall in love with. But he normally just flings them around the cot! Well anyway thanks for your help and I'll keep you posted! Xx

[ZacsMumme]

Keep persevering with the teddy, maybe when he wakes in the night put teddy in his arms or fingers when you put your hand on him. FWIW I think your handling the NW so well! ! ! - The fact you dont have to PU etc is wonderful.

Give it a week, keep an eye on cues as well as the clock and see how things go....lots of help with walking during A time too so her is nice and tired at nap/BT, and lots of quiet time before both.

Let me know how you get on

[:: ANA ::]

Hi Melissa,
How are things going?

So, finally my baby is sleeping through the night again...well, it's been 4 nights in a row so I'm hoping we're over that.

I'm still trying to figure out the nap thing.
This is what I've been doing:
As my LO is pretty stubborn as far as naps go, I've been advised to sneak a CN in the stroller or car during the day so that he doesn't resist it as much.
So, around 10am we go for a walk and he falls asleep around 10.30, for about 30 minutes.
Then, after the 3pm feed I put him to sleep in his crib and it is working. (I tried 1, 1:30, 2, 2:30 but 3 seems to be the right time for him)

When for some reason we can't go for a walk, it's useless to try the crib at 10.30am so I just let him play and around 12.30 I put him down and that works too (in these cases we usually just have one nap during the day).

So, although I'd love to have a more structured nap schedule, if being flexible about the time and the place is what works (as long as it doesn't mess with his night sleep), I'm willing to do it.

Depending on how much he slept during the day, I put him down for BT at 7, 7:30 or 8 (I'm super afraid to put him down earlier because with the 7pm bedtime he wakes at 5am...although after 20min he sleeps again, but anyway).

I've been keeping a log of his sleeping hours to try to find a pattern and it's been very revealing! LOL =)

Regarding the SA, it's kind of fading!! =), and I´m pretty sure now that what worked there were the 2 weeks I spent literally standing next to the crib during BT and NWs, reassuring him and keeping him company until he fell asleep.  As soon as I heard the first cry in the middle of the night I was by his side, and funny, but as the days passed, sometimes I just had to as much as touch his face, and he would willingly lie down again and go back to sleep without any further fuss.
I also cuddled him a lot during the day, carried him around, told him where I was going when I had to leave for a minute and came back as soon as I heard him in distress.
I'm not telling you that it's all gone, but now I'm able to step away from the crib, out of his line of sight, even get out of the room (talking about sleep times) and he's doing so much better.  The improvement is great during the day too, he's playing independently as he used to, and has stopped crying when I leave the room.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, hang in there!
I don't know how, but just being there for him, although I feared it would make it worse, has actually made it better.

Hope you're doing better!

[Mummy23boys]

Well Zacsmumme I'm back! And it's all gone a bit wrong! It's a combination of things!  I won't post it again as I've already done so here and on sleeping for toddlers. The subject is "should I switch from long am nap to long pm nap" if you could have a look at it I'd be very greatful. Hope you are well and all is good with you!

Ana how are things with you? Still good? I hope it's all working out for you! I'm going away tomorrow for a few days and DH will be minding James! I think he's a little apprehensive although he's looking forward to having some QT with him.

Anyhoo talk soon x