Very unlikely that it is lactose hun... so few kids have a lactose intolerance... I would be more inclined to thing milk allergy (MPI) versus lactose. If she is constipated, that would almost discount that lactose idea - it causes horrid diarrhea.
so many questions it so hard to decide on this little sleep. i'm afraid of doing anything incase i make it worse.
With her clearly not well, I would abandon calculations like A times etc... follow her lead for now.
This. She does sound in some sort of discomfort. Dr's don't always pick up on this as my twins went 14 months without being diagnosed and once we trialled proper reflux meds (usually ranitidine/zantac first) we saw a world of difference in them. They were the ones that refused to sleep in the car. E on the other hand was our car sleeper. Their little bodies deal with it so differently.
A lot of Dr's are of the mind that if the baby is growing then all is well. This can be particularly challenging to deal with because its certainly not the case all the time. They often hear about lack of sleep,crying and unsettledness. I always found it more effective to talk about behaviours over sleep if that makes any sense. Describing what's going on during the crying. Is she arching her back? Squirming? Writhing? Etc. Those behaviours would indicate pain as well as an APOP proof baby. Most babies should be able to be APOP'd to the point of catching up and getting out of an OT loop.
My big girls projectile vomited the majority of formulas out there. E is far more sensitive and hardly ever spit up. I can remember only two spit ups with her in her entire life. Her reflux is what they call "silent reflux". It is often as a result of a food intolerance and milk is usually the most common one.
I think.k at this point it would be well worth a trial of reflux meds to see of they can help. They won't hurt if unnecessary, and it's an easy way to see if t that's what's going on.
Many hugs to you hun. You sound exhausted and I know it well. You've had some great advice here, but the simple and sad truth of it is that if your lo is in any kind of discomfort than sleep training is very hard of not impossible to do.
I would go back to the Dr. Don't worry about being a pain. That's what they're there for.
And also wanted to add that our reflux "witching hours" were supper time, midnight and 4am. Constant little night feeds can soothe the throat from the burning reflux.
