HELP ASAP please!!! 30min nap but not crying and clearly OT!

[~*erin*~]

nothing helpful to add really just your not alone.my lo is trying o fall asleep hes so overtired and hardly naps all day 7-10pm is a long day with maybe 20mns break.its so hard with other children so feel for you.i had a really hard time with baby blues this time baby no 3 its finally getting better at nearly 16wks so hang in there,this time shall pass and we shall miss these days i know it doesnt seem that way now but its true.hugs to you my lo is now nuzzled under my neck snoring he will wake when i put him in his cot o just for a few minutes i'll enjoy thgis cuddle and his babysoft smell

big hugs ! (don't you wish someone would just cuddle us the way we do with these little ones? i want someone to baby/pamper/look after ME instead of me doing all the babying/pampering/looking after! lol)
i hope your day goes ok

[~*erin*~]

*woke at 10:02.... not bad i guess E 1015ish - but a bit fussy onthe boob hmmm.... had some spit up, some poop, some crying .... *thumbs up*A 1hr13minS 11:13 - didn't even do a wind down; was holding her and walking while on the phone and she started nuzzling in, so up we went, changed diaper, laid her down, and off she went

ok, so it's now 11:40 and so far so good ..... didn't even have to pat her little bum through the 20min mark.... have to eat some lunch now before an appt (I have to say, she timed her nap very well - the 1hr30min mark will hit right when I have to get her in the carseat and leave the house. smart little cookie;) )

ok, so she made it through the 30min mark, a huge jolt at 43min (11:52) and the 45min mark (11:58) .... then woke lightly at 12:02 .... re-plugged the soother a couple times, and seemed to do the trick..... it's now been exactly 1hr since she went down .... holding my breath!

[~Lori~]

Oh sounds like you have had some successes, yay!

[~*erin*~]

a little lol. she woke about 10min after that last post but i had to go so plopped her in carseat and she got another 10 min or so (so wake 1pm)..... nursed at the appt and she fell asleep around 2pm but for about 45min it's now 340pm and shes falling asleep on the ol' boob..... sigh
ps- lori, our babes are only 3 days apart-audrey is april 10th:)

[~Lori~]

mama2girls; must be something with those 10 weekers

Honestly, I would do as best as you can.  I NEVER had a perfect schedule like some do when mine were little.  It's like I would try and try and get frustrated because it wasn't working like it was supposed to be.  This time around, I do feel more relaxed with the naps even when they are 35 min, because I KNOW it will eventually get there.  It always seems to click for my kids around 4 months.

[~Sara~]

How did today go?  Did you try the longer A time or a darker room?

Do you think the pacifier could be a problem, as in she wakes up looking for it?

[eva026]

Yup our naps went to pot at 10 weeks too. It's been over a month and I'm also holding her through 2 naps a day just so she gets some sleep.
We've tried absolutely everything and nothing works so it must be developmental.
Just trying to keep calm (not always possible) and keep repeating "this too shall pass".
I'm sure I'll be on the props board with a baby that only sleeps when rocked in a few months but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it I guess.
Hang in there!

[~*erin*~]

so yesterday was a "meh" day .... she woke from her first nap around the 30min mark so in the chair we went. same for second nap, except by then i was exhausted so in my bed we went, where i actually got some sleep too. i don't remember the times though 3rd nap in her crib, woke, resettled but took a good 30min and then slept for another 45-60min, can't remember. ugh.

this morning, i decided that since i'm so tired we'd nap together in my bed - thank god we did, i got a full 2hours 720am-955am for her. just put her down for second nap @ 11:13am, patted the full 20min, and of course, now she's stirring 5min after i left the room. I should mention that she showed no signs of being sleepy before this nap, I just went into her room around 1055am and began the wind down routine so that she's be asleep at the 1hr20min mark and no later.

haven't darkened the room any more yet, though it's on the list of things to do this weekend.

tried the longer A time, but she only made it once or twice - even after both resettled/APOPed naps yesterday, which were quite lengthy (at least 2hrs each) she was yawning after 45min A time! i thought extended naps were supposed to help?! i am just so tired - physically, emotionally, mentally, and tired of this nonsense

as for the soother, don't know what to make of that because about half the time she doesn't care if it falls out and the other half it absolutely does wake her up/or she wakes looking for it, but even just replugging doesn't settle her right away, i have to do the whole 20min of patting AGAIN.

Which reminds me, I wanted ask: do you have to do the whole 20min every time they wake? or just at the start of a nap? Also, is it considered an OT nap if they wake at 30min but we help them back to sleep, therefore getting more sleep? and should the following A time be shortened even in this circumstance?

WHY CAN'T SHE JUST STAY ASLEEP!?!?!??! sheesh! up I go, to try to resettle her again because apparently it's not going to happen after 10 min on her own big tears. ...

so she had almost 15min to try and resettle - she's not crying, just doing her little sqeaks and moans with eyes wide open as if to say "help me, I need to sleep!" (as if I didn't know that sweetie! haha) so replugged the soother, began the patting, she spit it right out, had to sheild her eyes and within 5min she was in the beginning of sleeping ... so I patted for the full 20min ..... let's see how this goes. so it's now 1:10pm, still sleeping.

I guess my EASY today has been:

WU 615am
E 630
A 1hr10min
S 720ish-955am (in bed with me due to sheer exhaustion)
E 10am
A 1hr15min
S 11:13-11:35, (try to settle herself, I went in @ 11:50,) back to sleep 11:54 (with patting for 20min), woke her at 1:30
E 1:35
A 1hr3min - started wind down in her room at 1:20; held her with bum pat and soother while swaddled as she did slow sleepy blinks (as I did with my older one and outlined in post responding to eva026 .... so we'll see) This seems like a super short A time, but she yawned right as I was getting ready to put her swaddle blanket on, so I guess she was ready anyway
S 2:33pm-3:05 (soother fell out grrrr) have been trying to resettler her now for over 20min. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY MADDENING!!!!
3:40 i give up resettling her, she keeps putting her fist in her mouth, i guess she's hungry, but how can she be when she just ate an hour ago ?? bawling my eyes out. I just feel like what's the point of any of this?? I hate this age i'm sorry for being such a downer

yup, she ate! sheesh! I just can't figure this girl out. and I think that last nap was definitely UnderTired, although she was very yawn-y the whole time I tried to resettle her and is a bit fussy now ... can't seem to tell if she wants to eat, burp... i've tried both, but no takers.

[~*erin*~]

it must be developmental.

I wonder what it is???  When she's awake, she's not doing anything new... maybe getting ready to do something new??

You know, while I was just up in Audrey's room just now I was thinking about how I did this with Fiona, my older one .... for starters, I don't know if I even started this early - she slept in the wrap on me until she was almost 3months I think .... then I seem to recall holding her in my arms, patting her little bum until she started doing the big slow sleepy blinks and then I would put her in her crib ... I think I put her down a little bit earlier every few days until all she had to do was the first one or two big blinks and in the crib she went and off to sleep she went with just a few pats..... too bad I didn't write it all down; I clearly wasn't thinking *eye roll* Maybe I need to revisit that tactic with Audrey .... I also know that with Fiona, I would put the shirt I wore the night before (for naps) or that day (at nighttime) in the crib so she could still smell me because she was such a needly, clingy baby (I know, aren't they all - but this was truly crazy needy) which seemed to really help - trying it with Audrey; I just laid her right on top of it or put it right at the top end of the crib. Or I suppose you could tie it around the crib rails if you don't want it on the mattress .... these babies, they do like to be close to us don't they! Would that be something you could try so you're not so "anchored" ? Just a thought, crazy as it might be.

hang in there - we can hang together

[eva026]

come join us on the birth clubs board (no idea how to post a link)
you'll see that most of the 2-3 month olds are doing the same thing.
knowing I'm not alone in this is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment:)

[~Sara~]

Oh, lots of *hugs*  This IS such a hard age, when they're still so little with short A times and not yet ready to start self-settling.  Please check out the BC, like Eva mentioned.  You will find a lot of support there.  Link to the birth club: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=229497.0

haven't darkened the room any more yet, though it's on the list of things to do this weekend.

Honestly, I found this helped both my kids out a lot.  I hope you find that it makes things easier for you as well

Truly, this could be very developmental.  It's not uncommon for 45 minute naps to appear between 3-6 months of age, as this is when babies start working on getting napping sorted out (the first couple of months spent working on nighttime sleep).  Day sleep and night sleep are very different, and sometimes babies just don't go through all the sleep stages at first.  Have you read this link before? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64515.0  It talks about how non-REM sleep isn't fully developed in newborns.  A very interesting read!

tried the longer A time, but she only made it once or twice - even after both resettled/APOPed naps yesterday, which were quite lengthy (at least 2hrs each) she was yawning after 45min A time! i thought extended naps were supposed to help?! i am just so tired - physically, emotionally, mentally, and tired of this nonsense Sad

I wouldn't really consider the yawning at 45 minutes a sign of needing to be asleep right then and there...sometimes yawns can mean they'd like a change of scenery.  That said, if you feel the longer A times are doing more harm than good, by all means, please cut back on them.

Which reminds me, I wanted ask: do you have to do the whole 20min every time they wake? or just at the start of a nap? Also, is it considered an OT nap if they wake at 30min but we help them back to sleep, therefore getting more sleep? and should the following A time be shortened even in this circumstance?

I have actually had 2 different approaches to resettling naps, one for my DS and one for my DD.  With my DS, I had all the time to devote to just him.  So, yes, I would spend whatever time I needed to trying to extend his naps.  With my DD, I have DS running around, too.  I do what I can for her.  Sometimes I just got her up, shortened the next A time and went on with our day.  Sometimes--if DH was home--I would do just like you're doing and sleep with her.  If she is able to be resettled and sleeps a bunch more, then I would not consider her OT after that and able to handle a normal A time.

Have you tried holding through the jolts by any chance?  I always found it easier if I didn't wait for DS to wake up.  I did httj for every nap for 2.5 months until he started transitioning through the sleep cycles on his own.  You might try that.  Maybe for the first couple of times, just stay in her room the whole time with slight pressure on her...see what she does.

And remind me: is she swaddled?

[~*erin*~]

thanks for the clarification on my questions
jolts - I have tried, but maybe not effectively, so worth another shot for sure.
she is swaddled in a swaddleMe blanket (that velcros shut). One thing that just dawned on me today was that I took one arm out of her swaddle a few days before her shots - maybe this is part of the problem? She was so grunty with both in that I thought to try it,and her grunting diminished a lot - at first I thought it was reflux (2 docs say no, even after a few visits - but I still think she has mild silent reflux, but it does seem to be much better these days for sure, hardly notice it now) but then though, maybe she's just uncomfortable, and sure enough ... however, I think maybe I jumped the gun with it because she's so little still. so i'm giving both arms in another go tonight.

as for the yawning, you're right - a change of scenery may have done the trick, and likely would have. Will give these things a  good go onMonday - weekends are usually a bit more loosey-goosey with hubby and Fiona home and stuff going on...

as for the resettling + more sleep and then appropriate A time, that's what I thought, that she should be able to handle regular A time ....

sigh ... just had another tantrum from Fiona and hoping she's down now..... and hoping Audrey sleeps well tonight (though it's now 8pm, and I haven't heard from her yet, and have been hearing her wake up around this time for the last few nights!) fingers crossed,and toes too!

[~Sara~]

she is swaddled in a swaddleMe blanket (that velcros shut). One thing that just dawned on me today was that I took one arm out of her swaddle a few days before her shots - maybe this is part of the problem? She was so grunty with both in that I thought to try it,and her grunting diminished a lot

Oh yeah...that could definitely contribute to her waking.  Their moro reflex is still strong at this age that their limbs seem to have a life of their own.  Give the full swaddling a shot again

*hugs* and sleepy dust for your LOs tonight.

[~Lori~]

Good luck tonight!  And I hear ya on the tantrums...my 3 year old has been throwing tantrums galore lately...

[~*erin*~]

both arms in the swaddle last night, and not 5min after my last post there, Audrey woke up .... ugh. she was very rrestless with both arms in
NF at midnight, then again at 2am, and again at 5, very restless all in between so very little sleep for me. and fiona up at 545am with huge poop again
whats up with audrey not wanting to take full feeds lately either? hence the 2hr bw NF......