Days are a complete DISASTER - 10 mo can't fall asleep during the day

[KimMackay]

Well, here I am again.  After months and months of trying to get back on track after our hospital stay (in hospital for 1 week after being diagnosed with Kawasaki Disease)....everything has fallen apart.  

My LO was pretty traumatized from his stay at the hospital and when we got back home our days and nights were a disaster.  Nothing was working...and we didn't know how to go about sleep training without stressing him out or making things worse.  We ended up hiring a sleep doula.  We started with fixing our nights....and they came together quite quickly.  He's now STTN.  Once our nights were on track we started with naps....and her way was VERY different then the BW way.  She operated on 2 hr wakeful windows....so up at 6am, then down for the first nap at 8am.  Sometimes he fells asleep....other times he didn't (I should also mention that he was sleeping on DH and I for 2 months before all of this).  

Anyway, after 3 weeks of trying to get him to fall asleep on his own and in the crib.....I gave up.  There was no consistency and he wasn't improving.  He fall asleep something for his morning nap in 15 min.....and then other days I would be able to get him to fall asleep until 1pm in the afternoon.  The odd part is....he tries and tries to go to sleep...he just can't get there.  So after trying to fall asleep for 30 min...he gets frustrated, sits up and just stares at the door waiting for me to come get him.

Once it started to affect our nights (crying for 1.5hrs at BT because he is soooooooo OT from the cumulative lack of day time sleep) I decided to stop.  My plan was to go back to having him sleep on us....so he could get caught up and we could try something else.  BUT NOW THIS ISN'T WORKING...AHHHHHHHH.  

For the past 3-4 days my DH and I have been trying to give him his naps on us....but he isn't falling asleep.  He's trying and trying.....his head on my shoulder, making his "i'm trying to go to sleep" sound.....but it never happens.  

I'M LOST.  I don't know what else to do for him.  It's like he has insomnia during the day or something.....he just can't get there even though he's so tired.

He's always been a terrible napper.....getting maybe 1h10 - 1h20 in the morning and maybe 1hr in the afternoon if I'm lucky (more like 35 - 50 min).  

Our days are in shambles, my DH and I are fighting, I'm a puddle and I have no idea what to do.

PLEASE HELP.

[KimMackay]

I should also mention that lately we've been lucky to get 1.5hrs of total day time sleep....and if I get a nap in the AM then the PM nap never happens, and if I get a PM nap it's only because he has refused to nap all day.

[becj86]

What routine are you shooting for when he's not able to sleep?
Does Kawasaki have any implications for sleep/discomfort? Sorry, I don't know a lot about it.

I wonder if you can take advantage of the natural sleepy times - 9 and 2, so you'd do set naps at 9am and 2pm and bedtime at 6 or 7 depending on the wakeup from the afternoon nap.

[deb]

Hmmm... I did some Googling so I think I get a sort-of picture of Kawasaki. Wow, that must have been quite a journey for you all!

I'm wondering what other things might be at play here: any leftover symptoms from the Kawasaki, the heat, the long days this time of year for you, any other environmental things going on (noise, TV on in the home, stuff like that) his own temperament. Might he manage a single longer nap mid-day? What about his food intake? BF or bottle/formula? What solids?

[KimMackay]

Should also mention that his clock has shifted WAY forward these past couple months....usually asleep by 6:15-30pm and then up for the day anywhere between 5:15 - 5:40am (and lately it's been on the earlier side).  This is killing me.

There shouldn't be anything left over from his Kawasaki....other than the trauma from it all.  We think hypervigilance could be playing a major role in all of this.  He has always been a very alert baby....and this has been heightened since the hospital.

He has always been easily distracted....so blacked out room and sound machine.  

He also wouldn't eat any solids, especially from a spoon for nearly 2 months after the hospital (so many syringes and meds shoved down his throat).  He just started taking in a lot of solids within the last couple weeks.  This kid seems starving now.  Can't get enough.  He's mostly eating chopped up pieces of food (fruit, cheese, come veggie, then some cereal puffs and yogurt)....oh, and he's breastfed.

[deb]

Sounds Spirited then

If he's hungry, I would make sure to increase his calorie intake, preferably with good fats. Will he take avocado from a spoon? Lots of good fat in that! If you're giving him yogurt, make sure it's full-fat. And as you're nursing, alsomake sure you're getting enough good fats in your own diet.

Has he only recently been getting dairy? Might there be a connection with that? Some LO's have a hard time settling with tummy discomfort. (Been there done that with one of mine )

For sleep times, will he accept a massage, or even joint compressions? Both mine still get massages at bedtime, and they're 7 and 10-1/2YO! Helps them settle, has always helped to ground them, as long as the touch isn't too light - tends to be "tickly" if too light.

[deb]

Also, is he getting physical activity? If so, what's he doing? What kind of stuff and how much?

I'll try to get back later if I get any more ideas..... but for now I'd go at it from the Spirited angle.

[KimMackay]

I was wondering if the yogurt could be upsetting his tummy.  I'll try giving that a break.  It's too bad though because he LOVES it.

As for physical activity, he's pretty busy here at home.  Crawling and cruising all over.  He just recently got off his medication....so now we can be around other kids.  Had to pull him out of swim lessons and couldn't do any play groups for a while.

How would I know if we should try going to one nap?  I don't want to try and screw up everything even more....but he's always been low with sleep needs.....never getting 3hrs during the day, but happy as can be.  I've wondered if he would be better on 1 nap....but I'm worried he won't take a long enough one, as he's never been a long napper.  He did one 2h15 about a week ago....adn I'm pretty sure that was just a crash from getting such little day time sleep over a couple weeks.

[deb]

Not sure about the night sleep, but having a hard time falling asleep during the day despite being super-tired says OT or uncomfortable to me.

Will he sleep in the car?

[KimMackay]

Only if I drive around for an hour....and then I have to keep driving the entire time he sleeps.  Any stopping causes him to wake up...which usually means staying on the highway and  then I end up super far from home.  I literally don't know how to get this child caught up on sleep.  I know he's OT.

[deb]

Lavender in the bathwater? Sleep in a stroller? Or too noisy? Will keep thinking.... probably a bit young for melatonin but keeping out of bright light before sleep times helps too.....

[KimMackay]

I always wind him down with blinds closed and lights dim. He will not sleep in stroller...too many things to look at and be distracted by.  Same problem with the car.  He'll be so close to sleep in the car...and then a truck goes by and he's like "wow whats that?" lol.  Goes with the hyper vigilance as well.....constantly scanning his environment. He'll have his head on my shoulder and we're ready to go upstairs....cat walks by, and head perks up....or there's a noise outside, etc. 

I've been trying Quietude....it's the same company as Camilia used for teething.  It's supposed to help restlessness and mild sleeping disorders....but not seeing any results yet

Haven't tried lavender....he's got eczema as well, so I would be afraid of it irritating his skin.  His eczema doesn't irritate him usually though...so I know it's not that either.

[becj86]

he's got eczema as well

This is often another symptom of a food intolerance - frequently dairy.

[KimMackay]

He's got eczema way before dairy was ever introduced....

[deb]

Not if you were consumingndairy while breastfeeding.....milk proteins can and do make their way thru breastmilk. An elimination diet for mom is the only way to rule it out for sure.