need to stop co-sleeping completely

[tashyluv]

Aleesha is 2 and a half.  We have gone from her being in the bed every night to about 3 nights a week (probably due to my being too tired).  I know I need to get her in bed full time so she realises that she can't get in mummys bed no more.  Aleesha wakes every night.  I am 25 weeks pregnant and i am starting to get a bit worried now.  Hubby does support me but he doesn't give me enough motivation.  I need people who have been there or are dealing with it too.  I will try and come back here everyday and log Aleesha's patterns/wakings.

He is our typical day. ( a bit all over the place just now)

Normal wake up time - 6.45/7.15am, but if in my bed 8.am
Nap time, (depends on wake time or if she had a nap the day before) say 1.pm ish to 2.00/2.15pm
Bedtime (on a nap day asleep for 8.30) (on a no nap day) still trying to work this out. 7pm which is probably to late?

At bedtime she is no trouble at all, we read books, put gro clock light on and I tuck her in and say night night.  She may get out of bed once or twice but is normally asleep with in 10 minutes if not less!

Night wakings start from 11.30 onwards (sometimes she misses the 11.30 wake) I would say she wakes on average 2 times a night.  The first wake is usually short but the second one can go on for an hour or more., this is when i give up!

She knows the routine if she gets up 1st time its a kiss/cuddle night night.   Second time just a night night, then no communication.  She is used to me running in at a whimper so I have had to be a bit more firm with her.  If she comes out her bed I will put her back but if she is whining in her bed I just leave her.  We have a gate on the door also because she climbs in the bed when im asleep.  Shes asks for everything. tissues, water, fix the covers, need the toilet yada yada.  If I start giving her things the list will go on!  So if she needs the toilet fine, she can blow her nose at the toilet but no water, she can have a drink before bed.

So there you go  

As from tonight im gonna hopefully not have her in my bed again


I really need to know how long the day should be on a no nap day vs nap day and anything else you think might help.  Thanks x


Wish me luck for tonight! x
 

[<Catherine>]

Hi

How old is your LO?

[tashyluv]

She is 2 and a half. 

[<Catherine>]

I tend to find that my DS needs a day no longer than 11.5hrs if he hasn't napped.

Do you find there's any difference to her nights on days she hasn't napped versus days she has?

I'm not sure if I think she's UT from napping when she shouldn't be (or for too long, maybe), or OT from not napping and having too long a day - what do you think? Perhaps a mixture of both?

[tashyluv]

Put it this way,  I tried stopping the nap to see if it would help her through the night.  I would say NW is the same if not worse, but again if I am putting her to bed too late on a no nap day that could be the cause.  So say she is awake at 6.45.am then her bed would be 6.15pm? She has fell asleep on the sofa at 7pm so obviously this is too long a day.  I think I just think 6pm bedtimes are too early and thats what stops me ( I know im wrong of course!)

And also maybe nap capping is better on the days she will nap, She normally has 1hr 30 ( I wake her usually)

She woke at 7.45 this morning so I will aim for her to be asleep for 7.15?

I think is more habit waking but obviously being OT/UT won't help the situation.

[<Catherine>]

So say she is awake at 6.45.am then her bed would be 6.15pm?

Yes, this is how I try to time things. You will have to try it though and see how it works for your DD. You may find she can only cope with an 11 hour day, or that she actually needs 12 hours, yk?

I think I just think 6pm bedtimes are too early and thats what stops me ( I know im wrong of course!)

This is exactly what I thought too! And early BTs don't work for everyone, but they have helped us a lot and I think it's worth a shot. I tend to find that if DS is EWing (which he is at the moment) an early BT will not make him wake any earlier - generally he still wakes at the same time but the EBT means he has had a longer night so is on the way to combatting the OT that was causing the EW, iyswim (we have had times where an EBT has led to much later wakings too). I put DS to bed at 5pm last - I have never been brave enough to go this early before but his behaviour was so off yesterday that I'd just had enough by then (and was prepared to start today at 4am if necessary just to get him off my hands yesterday evening!!)! He still had the odd NWing that he's been having, and he still EW at 5.40am, but at least he'd had more sleep in total. I'm working today (he's with my sister) so EBTs are not so easy but I will be doing my best to get him to bed early again later on.

She woke at 7.45 this morning so I will aim for her to be asleep for 7.15?

Yes, I'd try this for a few days and see if it helps.

[tashyluv]

Well, she hasn't had a nap today, she did yesterday and slept decent last night so thats ok.  I  think I will give her a nice early bath, then she usually watches her programme (frances) at 7.30 BUT I recorded it last night so I will put it on after her bath and take her up to bed about 6.45 for teeth, books and what not.

I will let you know what happens! x

[<Catherine>]

Good luck! Hope it goes well.

[tashyluv]

Well last night I had her sleeping for 7.30pm.  She woke at 11.10pm for a quick pee and straight back to bed (no fuss).  She then woke at 1 am for about 25 minutes, the usual asking for everything.  I put her back to bed twice then she wimpered and moaned in bed for a bit, got out one last time for me to put the covers on her then went to sleep.  She woke at 7.am.

All in all not bad at all, the second waking can last over an hour sometimes but i think if I stick to it 100% then shes not getting mixed messages. Then she knows im not messing about with her.

Today we both had a nap.   Unfortunately it was a long one! 2hrs   I was knackered and we fell asleep on the sofa while dad was tiling the kitchen.  We woke at 3.30pm tut tut,  So I don't have a clue what time to put her to bed tonight she is wiiiiide awake.  I think maybe asleep for 9?  Hopefully back on track tommorrow

[tashyluv]

Well last night, due to a long nap, Aleesha was'nt in bed until 9.30pm.  She woke at 1.35am for about 15 mins and said she needed a pee.  Surprisingly there was no crying, she just got out of bed a few times.  She then slept until 6.45am

So tonight we shall aim for 6.15/30pm.