Hello, this is my first post so i do apologise if this is the wrong place for it, but i really need to some help because my daughter is perpetually grumpy because she is so tired all the time.
Our baby turned 3 months last week, and to be honest we were a little late in the game in terms of implementing a schedule, other than feeding her on demand (shes ebf) and constantly tending to her needs, I didn't realize to start a structured pattern, so I feel a little guilty. She has always taken her naps, but usually when she decides to, in the swing, stroller or after a feed in my arms. but now I realise the importance of familiarity, and giving me free arms to do other things!
Now I follow the 3 hr EASY schedule, but it's going a bit wrong because I can't get my daughter to rest for more than 30 min, max 45. I am worried I have made her too used to sleeping on me.
The pattern goes as follows:-
7am wake and feed (she's a fast eater so we're usually done by 7.30)
7.30 - 8.15 active time (consisting of her rocker, or swing, maybe some music and a litte tummy time on her mat)
8.15 wind down time ready for her nap at 8.30, I swaddle her in her room, brush her hair and hold her up right in my arms, sometimes she gets very grumbly so i shush-pat her in my arms. As soon as she calms down and relaxes her head on my shoulder I put her in the crib, this can take a few goes...
8.30 -10am nap (but in reality she's awake and crying by 9am)
We try to sooth her back but she gets so cross, we shush-pat, I try to avoid rocking as I worry it will become a sleep prop. She won't take a pacifier, never has it gets her very cross.
Usually after 30min of her crying we give up up and bring her back in the room with us, so thats at 9.30, but then i dont know what to do as she is due her next feed at 10am and hasnt had much sleep! It carries on like that, with her not sleeping at nap times more than 30min at 11.30, 2.30 and a catnap at 5. so by the evening she's had 1hr 30min nap time in total if I'm lucky!
It means she is terribly grumpy in the evenings!
Night time she is usually asleep by 8.30, she won't settle any earlier, I think it's too bright for her, so once the sunsets she goes down. I have bought some black out curtains which I hope will help with that. I do a dream feed at 10.30 and usually another feed at 4am (im not sure if I should be doing this as I can't tell if she is waking because she is hungry of if she has woken and can't settle back on her own so i worry i am making it worse by nursing her!) once back down she can sleep through to 7 where we start the cycle over again.
Also She has started to wake a 2am some nights, almost as if from a nightmare, as she lets out real cries!
If anyone can give advice on extending a nap, shush-pat isn't working and I think pu/pd is too stimulating for her and if she falls asleep in our arms we can't put her back down without waking her which causes a whole torrent of cries.
She will sleep if I nap with her, I have done this a few times by co sleeping on our bed in the afternoons, because i Get so worried she isn't sleeping enough. Is this a bad idea?
The main issue is extending the naps! And what do I do if it takes so long that she is due her next feed, should I let her nap after a feed?
