Grrrr!

[clazzat]

Just have to have a little rant. I was talking to my mum this evening, and she is coming to see us and always does some baking/ cooking to bring with her. I have been off dairy since x was tiny as he is mpi, and she says "are you still doing that no chocolate no cheese thing?" followed by "so how long do you think you are going to keep that up" and "that just seems ridiculous, I have never heard of it before" when I said that I was going to keep feeding him until he didn't need it any more.

Why is it not acceptable to still be feeding my 14mo? And why do I feel that I need to justify that I am still feeding him? I fed dd2 till 18 months because it was still working for both of us, and I see nothing wrong with carrying on just as long with ds.

[Shiv52]

Hugs xx

I no longer mention I still feed R.  I fed M to 18 months and stopped when I got pregnant.  R was MPI and taht was a main reason to keep going here too as it took a lot of pressure off diet wise for her.  Usually once I mentioned the MPI and the fact the paed said to BF as long as I could people were more supportive than they would have been had i just said i was continuing to feed. 

So long as its working for you and Z try and let your mum go over your head xxx

[*Ali*]

Honestly Claire, I think it often comes down to just ignorance. Many people only see tiny babies being BF (if at all) and so they think that is all BFing is for. I have had people mistakenly think that the WHO's recs to BF exclusively for 6mo actually means that BF should be stopped at 6mo.
I think it is sometimes a lack of education and people just speak without really knowing what they are talking about. Before having a baby I myself didn't actually know that a baby needed breast milk or formula until 1yo and that they WHO recommended continuing for 2yrs and beyond. Not everyone has access to such great info and support that we get here on BW.
You should join us on the extended nursing thread. in fact we just had A very similar conversation about this topic

ETA: oh I just realised that you are talking about your own mum (I had misread it as another mum) so that is slightly different I guess. I know my mum was bombarded with the message that formula was this miracle alternative to breastfeeding when my sister's and I were babies so maybe your mum is from a similar generation?

[Fiver]

Sorry your mum isn't more understanding.  I've been getting funny comments recently from DH about how long are we going to carry on, but I just ignore him :-P

[Roseii]

Funny cos my mum is SO pro bf she basically laid so much of a guilt trip on my sister my sister felt like she couldn't offer formula full stop
Mums should mind there own eh

[Erin M]

Ugh.  (((hugs))) Clair, you're fabulous!

[~*Nicole*~]

Grrrr on your behalf. I WISH I was still BFing DS.

Way to go for continuing with the ED and everything!

Moms don't know anything. My mom was mad at me for quitting BFing b/c she was such a BFing advocate (as well as a drug-free birth advocate which I didn't listen to either so she LOVES me  )...and it turns out she quit BFing as soon as my sister and I cut teeth at 6 and 9 months of age. 

[clazzat]

I've been meaning to come back and say thanks for the support - but my mum has been staying for a few days!

It does surprise me that my mum is being this way, as she bf'ed both me and my brother, and has been very supportive previously. I have to say that I wouldn't have said anything about still feeding him if it weren't for the dairy-free thing, as I don't feel that it is any of her business. She seems to think that he doesn't need any milk of any kind by now.

Ali - I think I will come and join you on the extended nursing thread, although I have to say that I think that having to describe nursing a 1yo as "extended" is ridiculous.

[shivi]

huge hugs xxx

I was at home last week and though my mam seemed to be completely behind me in every way while I was bfing both of mine (bfed us herself as well but stopped at 4 mths both times), she commented on my friend still bfeeding her 14 mth old while pg. Friend told her she aimed to tandem feed (1st LO will be 18ish mths when 2nd LO is born) as WHO recs to 2 yrs etc etc.

When friend left, mam made the comment of it being "weird" to bfeed to 2 yrs. I told her I would have, had my kids wanted it....they were just "trained" to treat the boob as food only. Not that I regret it as I work f/t outside the home since they were both tiny and probably would not have coped with broken nights on a regular basis etc....but still, I would have gone to 24mths plus given half the chance....

anyway, my mam shut up once I gave her all the facts on "extended" bfeeding. Was straight after my exam so it was easy ;-)

S x

[cuckoochick]

Hugs Claire, I have only just recently stopped BFing C and I just stopped talking about it really because most people looked at me like I had two heads when I said C was still feeding! My MIL was one of those and she is so pro-bfing I was quite surprised. She put a lot of pressure on me to BF initially when I was struggling after C was born. The way I try to figure is that she's just jealous because I fed longer than her!! Ha ha!