So sad for my little girl

[Kangarruu]

Hi everyone,

I've posted in a number of forums over time about my DD. She is 7 mos and has been EBF (not quite my choice). She started solids around 3 weeks ago, and isn't eating solids much, but not really actively resisting either.

Our adventure with bottle feeding has been long so I'll spare you all the details. The bottom line is that she has been flat-out refusing to drink from a bottle since she turned about 12 weeks. My work schedule has needed to undergo several changes so that I could feed her during the day, and till recently I was doing two feedings at home and she has been coming to my office for the third (plus bedtime feeding and dream feed). My hours have increased and I am no longer home for the second morning feeding.

We've stopped bothering with the bottle and have been experimenting with a sippy cup for the last 2 months or so. We started with several of the spout type before reading that we should stick to one for a while. We also read that breast fed babies do better with straw cups, so we got her this one: http://www.amazon.com/Zo-li-Bot-Straw-Sippy-Cup/dp/B0031E1GEG and have been sticking to it for about 2 weeks so far.

We've been trying to give it to her before her 11 am feeding and random times so that she could get practice. She has been happily chewing on the straw with short sips in between, but not drinking anything significant. (probably because I feed her after!) For the sake of full disclosure I would say we haven't been consistent with giving it to her before every feeding. Mostly this is because of her messed up nap schedule which is in turn due to the messed up eating. She has had such a negative experience with the bottle, and I've really been avoiding forcing the sippy cup on her. But at this point I have no choice and today was the first day I've had to leave her home with DH to take the full feed from the cup. She drank maybe 1.5 ounces and spent the whole afternoon cranky.

We've also been trying to drop the dream feed while this is all going on, which I am now second guessing. She has been gassy from the solids and the sippy, she is probably teething, had a recent cold, developed nap issues and started having NWs. All in all she is still a happy baby for the most part. I on the other hand am starting to lose my mind.

Please, I really need advice. It kills me that she is going hungry at home and I'm so tried of these feeding problems affecting the rest of her routine. Is there a gentle way of dealing with her taking the sippy cup that I haven't tried? I really really don't want to stop nursing to force her into it.

Sorry for the very long post. Somehow all my posts end up this way. Thank you all!

[*happy*]

first of all....big big hugs....i know (second hand) how awful it is to have a bottle battle.i know my friend had v similar issues & struggled with soooo many sippy cups until she found the "Doidy" cup.it was messy,but he at least took something from it.have you ever heard of it?it's an open cup with a slanted side so it's easier to help them drink. i've seen somewhere on this site about taking the valve out of the sippys so that it's free-flow....not sure if you've tried these already?

[j.and.e]

Didnt understand your schedule but does she have 5bfs and you are dropping to 4? (e.g drop df). If she wont take her 11am feed from a bottle can u just drop that one and keep df? Will she take df from a bottle? Then 11am cud be a snack (and optional cup of milk) when ur at work? Xx

[Kangarruu]

Thanks for responding! I have the Tilty cup (http://www.amazon.com/Tilty-Sippy-Free-Ounce-Pack/dp/B00793SDIW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1344975974&sr=8-2&keywords=tilty), which I think it similar concept to what you're describing. But it says it's for 9 months and up so we haven't tried it yet. I have tried taking the valve out of the spout sippies and got a few ounces into her in the car one time. Unfortunately this resulted in a VERY gassy baby, and a whole lot of hysterical screaming. If it's not one thing it's something else eh?

DH placed her in front of the mirror today so that she could watch herself model the behavior (quite funny actually). He noticed her take a few full sips from the straw sippy, so it seems that she knows how and is just choosing not to.  Strangely enough she was in good spirits when she came for her 3 pm feeding today, despite having only eaten about 1.5 ounces since her morning feed.

[Kangarruu]

That exactly right,  j.and.e. Her routine has been 7 am, 11 am, 3 pm, 6:30 and a DF (that we were trying to drop). I never thought of doing it how you suggested but that's very interesting!  Ideally we'd like to drop the 3 pm BF as well, as DH would really prefer not to have to walk her back and forth. But in the meantime wont she still be hungry with such a long stretch?

[Kangarruu]

Oh and I forgot to answer that she refuses the DF from the bottle as well. She used to take it and then around the same time she stopped both daytime and DF. I'm not even sure how she knows! One day she was taking it happily and the next she started turning her head away and pursing her lips in her sleep.

[Lolly]

Have a look at this link - there should be some ideas here to help you.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=173310.0

Laura

[Kangarruu]

Thanks Lolly. We actually did see that link when we were trying with the bottle. We tried a bunch of those tips.

[j.and.e]

How are you doing? Xx

[Buttonbobs]

Hugs, it sounds like you are going through a tricky time.

We used a doidy cup with our daughter from 5 months in. I would imagine that any age guidance on your equivalent would be down to expectation of what they can do rather than a safety thing. IIWM I would probably give it a go. What do you think? I don't have any experience with the bottle refusal so can't help there but hope this helps a little x

[shivi]

Huge hugs to you,

First of all - what is your plan now that you're back in work?

Second - don't worry about the open cups saying 9mths (they have to give an age and are maybe worried about babies being left unsupervised with these cups). Even premature babies are tried in neonatal units on open style cups (like little medicine dispensers) with colostrum inside so there is no reason to suggest that your DD couldn't go to an open cup - and it would be much better for her at this stage anyhow if you plan to bf till a year or more...

thirdly - let me give you my story. I went back to work with EBF kids at 4.5 and 7.5 mths. With DS, my first, we had no issues switching from breast to bottle and back again, even mid feed. He was fine. Fed him bm direct or from the bottle till 16 mths - no issues. We did, though, drop that 11am feed before the DF. I wanted the skin to skin, wanted to actually feed him to keep up my supply and didn't believe in EBF babies going 12 hrs at night (and needed the sleep being back in a demanding job). So I fed him 7am (worked 7.30 to 3pm), then he had brekkie, he had lunch and a sippy of water around 11.30, bm at 3.30pm, solids at 5ish and then bf to bed around 7pm, lifted once more for DF at 11pm.
With DD, as I knew dropping the 11am bm in a bottle really helped DS develop an appetite for solids, I dropped the 11am feed as well just before going back to work which meant in essence that I didn't have to pump and with new work schedule, I didn't even have breaks so would feed her 6.30am and work 7-3 then home for 3.30pm. Again, we kept the DF till well beyond 10mths, the 3.30pm feed till a year and then two bfs till she self weaned at 18mths.

I know your schedule is probably a lot worse than mine - my early start (which I hate so much but worked out very well for bfing) meant I could get back for that 3.30pm feed. Perhaps you could try the open cup - even a normal open cup? My DD did very well on typical kids open beakers from a year old (copying DS) and never took a bottle. She did well with the straw as well - but only for water.

HTH and hugs xxx

[Kangarruu]

Thanks for responding ladies and for all the hugs. I needed that. I read your posts right after an hour and a half of DD squirming around in her crib instead of napping (got home early from work since our networks were down). She finally fell asleep...at her feeding time. sigh.

Well, we've made a tiny bit of headway with the straw sippy cup during the 11 am feed  today (dh sat dd on the couch near him while he used the computer and she downed 3.5 ounces while staring at the screen... whatever works right?) I got home early and fed her the rest.

I do think that having 5 milk feeds is throwing everything off, so I really so want to drop one of the feeds. She really doesn't seem hungry enough or interested in solids, so we haven't bothered introducing dinner. But maybe introducing dinner will help her drop the DF? We took a small break from pushing back the dream feed to see if that is what was causing her NWs, but I think we'll start moving them back again.

In terms of the tilty cup, drinking from an open cup hasn't really worked for us. DD just lets it all pour straight out of her mouth, no matter how we help her pour. Maybe we'll try it again if the straw sippy doesn't get better.

Shivi, I've been back at work for a while, just not for the 11 am feed. Unfortunately, my boss is a late-to-work kind of guy so starting early is not an option for me.  So far we're relying on the sippy cup and hoping she takes a full feed from it soon. I really do enjoy the closeness of the DF, but honestly I'd like my evening back. I'm trapped in my house from the bedtime feed till the DF (that is now at 10 pm). I haven't gone out with my husband (or anyone for that matter in months!) So ideally that feed has got to go.

I do have a routine question for you ladies... DD's naps are running into her usual feed time, Here is today's EASY.... does this make sense?


S 6:40 wake up
E 7 BF
A 8:20 breakfast (she will take 3 tsp of puree at most, usually she'll take less (around 1.5 or so)
S 9:45ish
E 11:15 Sippy plus top off from me at around 11:40
A 1:20 lunch (a bit late)
S 2:50 I wound her down at around 1:40 and she was in her crib till 2:50, tossing and rolling onto her stomach and getting stuck there, So I had to keep going in to turn her over
E 3:40 BF
A 4

I will probably do an early bedtime tonight since her super short nap. He usual feed is at 3 pm, but since she ate late today that didn't conflict too much. She's been going to sleep around 2:30 this whole week though and sleeping right into her feeding. Should I just push her feeding to 4? her bedtime feed is 6:30 so I feel like she's eating all night. thoughts?

[shivi]

in terms of the open cup - its more like lapping that is involved (like a little cat I suppose) than pouring it into her mouth. This is the best I could find.

I have been involved with teeny tinies feeding this way and we used soft medicine dispensers for this purpose - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4NYxOQuxW0&playnext=1&list=PLE18DD4E19EFAC4D9&feature=results_main
My DD was probably around 7 mths when we tried the open cup for the first time and by a year, we could leave her with a normal lidless beaker of water on her high chair.

I understand about the DF - I kept it as late as possible and DH and I would go out from 8 till 11 or even slightly later. But everyone to their own ;-) I definately feel though that dropping the 11am feed was the best for my babies and awakened their interest in solids - I got this tip from a mum of four on here about dropping the 11am feed and keeping the DF.

Hope things get better soon and good luck xxx

[babybarr]

I haven't read through your whole thread so apologies if you have tried this one already.  A friend of mine also had big issues getting her dd to take the bottle until she bought a Dr Brown's bottle.  Due to the way the air chamber thing works it's supposed to be more like breast feeding.  Just thought I'd throw it out there.  Hope you get it sorted soon.