Help, our 13 month old is waking 5-6 times a night...

[sleepdeprivedmommy]

Hi everyone, I am new to this forum. I have read several topics with different suggestions and wanted to see if I can get advice for our situation. I read the "before you post" and thought it may be easier/helpful to answer these specific questions and go from there. I apologize if this post is too long, not sure of the etiquette.

How old is your child? 13 months old

What’s his nap routine? Up between 6-7am, nap around 9am for approx 1.5 hrs, 2nd nap around 1pm, (if he sleeps less than 2 hrs he will take a 3rd short nap) bed time at 7-8pm. He will sleep until 12-1am and start waking up every 1-2 hrs.

What's bedtime routine? We do quiet play and read sometimes. I have laid him down with a sippy cup of milk and he will go right to sleep most nights. Recently I would lay him down and walk out after hugs and kisses and telling him night, night. (he has a crib next to our bed). When I start walking away he screams. I have let him go for 5 mins and went in and comforted him, he sometimes will lay down, other times I have to stay in the room patting his back or rubbing his head.

Do you bottle or breastfed?? No bottle since 9 months old, he drinks milk from a sippy cup

How much? or how long? 2-4oz every time he wakes at night (watered down formula) :-( he drinks approx 16-20 oz during the day also.

How many wakes per night? 5-6 every night. Every 1.5 to 2 hours, sometimes more.

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? He wakes up screaming, he doesn't want to be held or be brought in our bed that makes it worse. He will lay right back down in his crib if we give him a cup of milk.

When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? Screaming cry (since he is right by our bed I have his cup and add formula right there and he has his cup in less than a min.

What have you tried to settle?? I tried giving plain water to stop the milk at night and he screams crying, throws himself backward and is inconsolable.

What do you do for A time and how long is it? Before I let him have the cup I would come to living area and try to rock him, he would push away and keep crying. I can walk him to the back door and he will stop crying but soon as I head back to bed without a cup he flips out.

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? He only has 3-4 teeth left to come in, he has been teething on and off since he was 3 months.

Have you introduced cereal? He eats 3 meals a day and at least 2 snacks.

Do they have a prop? He has a night light dog that plays lullabies and a night light aquarium.

We have decided tonight to limit his cups to twice and no more to try and gradually decrease his night wakings.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[becj86]

He's getting a lot of day sleep which may just be the reason for the NW's. Most LO's at 13 months are down to one nap of 1.5-2hr and a catnap, if not already down to one nap.

I will shift your post over to Sleeping for Toddlers, as LO is 13 months old

[sleepdeprivedmommy]

Last night we attempted to reduce his feedings.

I normally give him a watered down cup of formula with 4oz at least 3-4 cups a night. Last night I gave him a cup at 12:30 (he went to bed at 8:15pm). He then woke up at 1:20am & 2:30...I let him cry for 2-3 mins then picked him up and after he settled put him down. He immediately cried again, after 2-3 more mins he went back to sleep. He woke up again at 3:15 and would not stop crying (while holding him or not) I gave him a cup of watered down formula 4oz and 1 scoop formula at 4:30, I put him in his crib and thought he went back to sleep...he got up crying after 5 mins and finally went back to sleep at 5:40am. He got up this morning at 7:30. I am more exhausted then when I just hand him a cup several times a night!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Honey,

Welcome to to the forum. So sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I agree with Becky, I do your DS is getting too much day sleep and that it is time to change his routine. I think his body clock is all mixed up Hun. For his age an example of what works for LO's who are still on 2 naps is this:

WU 7am

Nap 1 10.30 to 12.30 (cap this nap at 1.5/2 hours max)

Nap 2  3.30 to 4.00

BT 7pm.

I would suggest keeping his day sleep at 2 hours max but definitely no more than 2.5

At first it will be hard for him because his nights are so disturbed so he will be very over tired but then his nights should settle down, and of course the idea is to get him sleeping through the night.

A LO of your son's age shouldn't need any milk in the night at all. Although you could place a sippy in his cot for him to help himself. I would usually suggest that he is waking for the milk and so it is a viscous circle but I think he is also waking because he has had too much daytime sleep and he is UT which in turn causes OT because of all the NW, so it's probably a double edged sword.

Hun, if he is ever to sleep through the night in my opinion you need to go 'cold turkey' with the milk in the night. It seems to have become a 'prop' to help him get back to sleep, but if you combine the change of routine with stopping the milk things should right themselves in time. I have been there with my Son Sam when I foolishly started to feed him back to sleep for comfort when he was in pain through teething. He too, in the end was waking up to 6 times a night.

In the short term you are probably in for a bit of a rough ride, Sweetie, but in the long term you could be in for a lot of lovely sleep. I think him being in your room makes it harder to be honest. I would suggest you try the PU/PD method except at his age you use just the PD part. If you're not familiar with it here is a link:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=208990.0

Let me know what you think  I would be happy to take you through the days to come and be there with any questions and support you need. If you decide to go for it you may need to push his 1st nap out slowly so we could talk about that before you started.

If your little fella has never been an Independent Sleeper, then that is also something that would be good to address but getting the routine right first is probably the best move.

This can all be done with consistency and determination Hun, and having a plan always makes you feel better already 

(HUGS) to you  Being a Mammy is so rewarding but so tough at times 

Vicki.x.

[sleepdeprivedmommy]

First off, thank you ladies so much!! Quick update for yesterday...

We kept him occupied to push his first nap to 11:25am (he slept 1 hr 25 mins), he fell asleep again at 4pm for 30 mins. Bedtime at 9pm. He slept until 2am!!! That is a HUGE improvement =) he cried for less than 1 min and right back to sleep. Woke up again at 3:15, this time he would cry then lay down then cry again. After 5 mins I picked him up and changed his diaper and he laid back down. He cried on and off until around 4am and finally went back to sleep. He was up again at 5:45 and tossed and turned crying out several times until up for the day at 7:10. I am thankful the night was that good, for both of us. Oh and NO milk after 8pm last night, first night EVER with no cup at night. Also 2 other things I changed 2 nights ago when we started this, I moved his crib away from right next to our bed, it is now across the room facing the foot of our bed. I also removed the aquarium night light (we had put that in when his night wakings first started 3-4 months ago). Now there is a small night light from our bathroom and none directly in the room with us.

I appreciate the advice and suggestions very much, I never even thought about needing to change his nap times. I always thought if he didn't nap enough he would be overtired and not sleep at night. Thank you both again! How do I show appreciation on here? I clicked the thank you tab on both of your posts but it didn't show anything.

[Truly Blessed]

Hello Honey,

Wow that is a great start, well done you!

I always thought if he didn't nap enough he would be overtired and not sleep at night.

There is of course some truth in this, but it's a matter of finding out how much is just enough 

I think moving his cot was a super idea. He is of the age where he will most likely appreciate the space.

His naps look good, that is around 2 hours which is ideal. However 5 hours to BT after a 30 minute cat nap is quite a long time so I would watch him and bring that forward to around 7pm. It's important to keep his day shorter because his nap time is shorter.

What time is his wake up generally  Ideally you want BT to be no later than 13 hours from when he gets up in the morning  some LO's only need a 12 hour day.

Hang in there, here when you need us. And yes, you can click on the thank you tabs, the number should go up by 1 digit  But the big thank you's for us are the ones when little ones and Mam's and Dad's are ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  and 

Vicki.x.

[sleepdeprivedmommy]

Well last night was a success, the night feedings were stopped cold turkey 2 nights ago and he is accepting that great! He had 2 naps yesterday...12:30-1:30 & 5-5:30, bedtime at 7:25. He woke up for less than 5 mins at 1, 2 & 3 (I comforted him while still in the crib and he laid right down) after that he woke 2 more times and I stayed in bed and spoke to him telling him "it's ok, go back to sleep" he didn't cry or anything just laid his head back on the pillow. He got up at 8am!!! I woke up at 7 and checked on him, I couldn't believe he slept that long! We are a very happy Mommy and Daddy to help our little one and us too at night :-D

Thanks again for the help and advice. I will be back when we attempt the transition from his crib in our room to the crib in his room!

[Truly Blessed]

That is absolutely fantastic news Honey, he responds really well when you stick with things doesn't he! clever boy.

This will sound crazy but be careful those late WU times don't set the day off. Late WU can mean late naps and late BT, so sometimes you have to reign it in by getting little one up at the best time.....husha my mouth   

Vicki.x.