Author Topic: Can't settle for naps  (Read 3617 times)

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Offline c_tj82

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Can't settle for naps
« on: September 29, 2012, 14:44:10 pm »
Please help!  This is my first post and I'm desperate.

My baby is almost 3 weeks old.  Her growth spurt was earlier this week when she was eating every hour.  But now she's roughly on a 2-3 hour eating schedule.  She feeds well, and is calm at night.  But the days are terrible.  She is so difficult to put down for naps.  I aim for no stimulation, i.e. just a diaper change.  When trying to put her down for a nap I keep it dark, I always swaddle, I play white noise.  I shush-pat to try to calm her.  Sometimes it works, but then others her fussiness just escalates and I don't know what to do.

How do I calm her when the fussiness is beyond control and won't settle?!

Thank you in advance.


Offline Papaya

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2012, 14:57:08 pm »
Huge hugs my dear!  Welcome to the boards and congratulations on your little girl :)

She's still so very little so she will likely need a lot of help to fall asleep. How long is she awake for between naps? At this age it should only be about 45 mins or so. Are you trying to settle in the crib? I would start by settling in your arms before you lay her down - you can pat/shh against your shoulder until she's relaxed and drowsy, or even asleep. I also wouldn't worry at this age about having all naps in the crib - cuddle naps at this age are lovely and tiny ones need those cuddles too!

Are there any signs of discomfort - wind? reflux?

xx
*Nuala*










Offline c_tj82

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2012, 15:07:20 pm »
Oh thank you for replying! I've been feeling so alone, even though I've been reading other posts and know I'm not.  Fortunately my husband has her right now and is trying to calm her while I scour the forums.

When she wakes, I feed for 15-20 minutes (she's a guzzler and has never really been able to feed longer than that).  I change her diaper, then immediately hold her to my chest, with her head in the nook of neck to block stimulation.  So she's probably only up for 30 minutes before I try to settle her.  Up to now I've been holding her to sleep, but now I'm trying to put her down drowsy but awake. 

But sometimes when I hold her, she can't stop squirming.  I try the shush-pat, and again, sometimes that works.  But sometimes she just gets more and more aggravated.  And this intense crying cycle begins.  Usually after crying for an hour or more, I nurse her to sleep, or she just sleeps from exhaustion it seems.

I don't "think" she has reflux.  She spits up on occasion, but nothing alarming.  She gets hiccups maybe once a day (random times).  I burp her during feedings, and sometimes she burps on her own.  I pump her legs, but she doesn't seem to have much gas.  And she still hates her swing. 




Offline Papaya

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2012, 15:18:43 pm »
Oh you poor thing, how exhausting for you both. It sounds like it could be discomfort :-\ Not all reflux babies spit up - it could be silent. Have a look at this link and see if anything else sounds familiar: Reflux 101 - General reflux information

Are you bfing or bottle?
*Nuala*










Offline c_tj82

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2012, 15:24:06 pm »
I'm breastfeeding only.

I'll speak to my midwife about administering Zantac. 

When she does nurse, she's sometimes fussy (she pulls away, then cries, and clammers for the breast as if I'm the one who took it away).  But she's almost always willing to nurse a bit, which may be comforting the pain.  Hiccups for sure.  But not really any of the other symptoms.




Offline Papaya

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2012, 15:29:09 pm »
Do you have a very strong let-down - if she's gulping it could be causing wind pain perhaps?

I'll see if I can get anyone with reflux experience to have a look for you :-*
*Nuala*










Offline c_tj82

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2012, 15:35:21 pm »
I'm not sure if I have a strong let-down.  But today, something new happened; she pulled away from the breast and milk squirted all over her face.  Is that normal or a sign of strong let-down?  I'll try the uphill feeding from now on.

Thank you so much for your support.  It's truly appreciated.

Offline c_tj82

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2012, 15:38:59 pm »
Oh and she's also gaining well (as of last week), so perhaps it's not reflux and just a strong let-down after all.

Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2012, 19:49:36 pm »
Hi there,
Some of the symptoms and behaviour your describing does sound like silent reflux
My Z always gained wight well (he was chunky ;) ) but suffered from pain, like heartburn from the acid in the tummy.

You can try feeding your LO lying back to slow your flow, or sitting LO upright and feeding more vertically. I also expressed a little before feeding so Z didn't struggle as much with the flow and choke/splutter.

One of our strong reflux symptoms was arching at the breast, then wanting to feed. ... It's hard to know sometimes though so maybe keep a log over the next few days on sleep, feeding, behaviour and symptoms to see if you can get an idea of what is going on?

Any Paci? I would try one to help settle if you can. Gripe water or infacol after feeds?
Here is a great site re reflux http://www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz

Hang in there! :-*
***Sara***
https://www.facebook.com/tomiandroo


DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline c_tj82

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2012, 21:20:02 pm »
Hi!

So after 2 very fitful naps, I resorted to gripe water.  Maybe after 15 minutes she let out a giant poop (she's never had one so large before, but it was mustardy like usual).  Then finally settled down for a 45 minute nap. 

From now on I'll try feeding uphill / vertically.  And I also read that feeding from the same side for a few feedings might help.

She does have a pacifier but will only take it once in awhile. 

Any reason why night sleeps seem so much calmer?  The fussiness seems limited to the day.  Is it because my milk supply has dwindled by then?

Thanks for all the support.  This forum has been wonderful.  I can't wait until I've got some experience under my belt and help other first time moms like me!




Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2012, 23:25:41 pm »
From now on I'll try feeding uphill / vertically.  And I also read that feeding from the same side for a few feedings might help.
yes block feeding I think it is...Ill get a BF mod to pop over :-*

She does have a pacifier but will only take it once in awhile. 
If she is fussing/crying and fluxy after a feed I would try to get her to take it to help calm. The crying really does aggravate reflux, cause more trapped wind and create a bit of a cycle which is so hard for you and LO - I used to dip the paci in gripe water to get Z to take it and help him settle.

Definately try to get the wind up after each feed, and during too....wind is reflux's enemy :(

Any reason why night sleeps seem so much calmer?  The fussiness seems limited to the day.  Is it because my milk supply has dwindled by then?
This is the nature of reflux. It is the pits....but it does typically flare during the day or night, or for a period of time in a 24. For us it was 4am-4pm. Nights were good and Z would crash. He woulds cream all.day.long and have 20min naps, erratic feeds and acidy spills. I wondered if it was to do with my milk too as my milk came in around 4am and there was always a lot of it then KWIM? But now I also wonder if by then Z was just shattered so he succumbed to sleep KWIM?

Great the gripe water may have helped. It was great for us, I would give it after feeds, and during sometimes. It is safe and easy on the tummy too.

:-*
***Sara***
https://www.facebook.com/tomiandroo


DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline becj86

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2012, 00:01:03 am »
Reclining to feed or sitting LO upright to feed should help with overactive letdown issues.

Block feeding (feeding a number of feeds from one side or a period of time - eg. 4hr -  from one side) actually downregulates supply and helps if you have an oversupply. Your supply is still being established at this young age, so its often advised not to block feed any longer then 3-4hr blocks if at all unless you're really really sure that oversupply is part of the problem.

Offline Erin M

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2012, 03:00:28 am »
When she does nurse, she's sometimes fussy (she pulls away, then cries, and clammers for the breast as if I'm the one who took it away). 
I'm wondering if you have a very forceful let down. 

If you do, this:
Reclining to feed or sitting LO upright to feed should help with overactive letdown issues.
will definitely help. 

Alternately, I had success when my LOs were small with letting them suck just long enough for the milk to start flowing, pull them off and let the milk flow into a towel, and then letting them latch back on.  Some moms pump until they get a let down and then put LO on once the milk slows a little bit.  Is feeding at night any calmer?  Sometimes since LOs are more relaxed at night, things are a little bit better.

Offline c_tj82

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2012, 18:41:43 pm »
Hi all.
Just wanted to give an update as to how today is going.

Last night was wonderful.  As usual she slept well, with feeds every 3 hours.  But right after the 7am feed, the crying began. 

Today's routine was basically, feed, cry, try to soothe her for 30-45 minutes, then nap for 45min-1hr.  And then another 2 hour cycle begins.
Albeit today is better than yesterday, because yesterday she barely napped at all.  But ideally I'd rather her not be crying for 30-45 minutes!  Also, longer naps would be ideal, but I'm not sure she's ready for going longer than 2 hours without feeding during the day.

What I did differently today is that I fed uphill, which seemed to help, as she fussed much less at the breast.  I still try to burp her during and after her feed, but I'm not always successful.  I'm not block feeding right now as her stools are fine, as based on becj86's advice.  And I gave her gripe water at 7am and 1pm.  Perhaps it's helped, although the impact is certainly not immediate.

Is it normal that I can feel her tummy rumbling during and after I feed?  Is that just regular digestion or is that gas? 

I also bought Ovol gas drops, but I don't want to mix it with the gripe water, so I'm not using it just quite yet.



Offline Erin M

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Re: Can't settle for naps
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2012, 19:07:37 pm »
Is it normal that I can feel her tummy rumbling during and after I feed?
I used to be able to feel my LO's tummy when she first started nursing, though I do think it could sometimes be a sign of gas too. 

My dd1 and my ds were big cryers too in the early days.  I never figured out why -- they had no signs of reflux, food intolerances, etc, but there was a lot of crying during the day (more in the latter part of the day/first half of the night with ds).  They did eventually both grow out of it -- in the meantime, I know that ds always did better if I brought him out of the house -- if I put him in his car seat and drove around and let him fall asleep there, he was guaranteed to take a long nap (sometimes over 2 hours!) -- any chance of that?  It helped me keep my sanity if nothing else.