tips for wind down routine for 16 week old

[carolina_bug]

My DS will be 16 weeks on Saturday.  He is still doing the 45 min nap and it's driving me crazy.  He's super cranky and obviously wants more sleep but can't always transition his way into it, even with me trying to help.  I've started letting him cry some, as I've noticed it's a mantra cry and he's still asleep when I've gone in, but that's not always the case and he's upset and crying 50% of the time with naps after the 45 min mark.

I was wondering about wind down time and lengthening his A time.  With the wind-down time, I've tried going into his dark room, turing on the white noise, and sitting with him, but that winds him up even more.  Now I go in, turn on white noise, change his diaper, swaddle him, hold him for a min or two (he's still upset at this point) and then putting him down.  He fusses for 1-2 min and then is out until the 45 min mark.  What are some other things I could do for wind down time since the sitting with him in my lap only makes him fuss longer?

As for lengthening the A time, what are the sleep cues I should be looking for?  He will yawn, but then looks at me with those big, blue eyes and start talking to me, acting completely awake and ready for another 15 min???  I've read that yawning and irritability are late signs of being tired.  I'm really confused and want to know what to look for so he's not UT or OT.

Thanks.

[amayzie]

How long is your A time currently? I found that after about 12 weeks my guys tired cues became really tricky. Basically babies can sort of get used to a certain A time and be ready to have a sleep then- or they THINK they do- but mummy knows better!! (or at least you can pretend you do!) If you put them down too early you will either have a really hard time getting them to sleep in the first place- or they will have a short nap like you are finding.

As far as extending the A time- you want to extend by no more than 15 mins in one go- i would usually struggle to get to 10 mins more as my guy HATED it! You can do gently things like walking around the house- in the garden, we;d sometimes do a trip to the letter box and back, and then there was 'helping' mummy on the computer. Basically ANYTHING as long as he's still awake!

We never had an overly long wind down ourselves- but we always kept the sleep cues the same. Into the bag, shut the blinds, sing twinkle twinkle then into bed. I would talk through as i did all of this too.. saying the same thing each time.

[carolina_bug]

I was trying to extend and had him up to 1 hour and 40 min, but he got a wicked cold, so we're back to 1 hour and 30 min A time.  I'm also having a hard time knowing how much A time to do when he wakes early from a nap, which is very common for him.  He's a fussy baby anyway, so irritability isn't a sure sleep cue, and if he yawns, I read that's a late sleep cue.  I think my biggest thing with him is that he isn't consistent with anything, so I guess I have to be.

thanks!

[amayzie]

With an early waking from a nap you can either shorten the A time by the amount that the nap was short- so say you are aiming for at least 1.5 hours sleep for a nap, and 2 hours A time (as an example). If he wakes up after an hour- then you take that 30 mins off the A time- only offerring 1.5 hours A time after. I actually never did this approach with my guy- but sometimes would cut the A time by 15 or 20 mins or something.. just not try to keep him up.

If you are happy he's over the cold i'd try again to increase that A time- generally you are looking at closer to 2 hours at 4 months, so it would make sense that he is needing more than 1.30 at this point.

[carolina_bug]

He was two weeks early, so does that have any bearing on the "4 month" mark?  Just curious.  I know it's not a lot, but just wondering if I should be trying to extend when he's closer to his original 4 month which would be the end of October.

[amayzie]

I don't think that the 2 weeks would make a difference- more ust differences between babies. My guy was also 2 weeks early- but he was a big bubba (glad he didn't go another 2 weeks!! Was 9 pound) and either because of this, or other factors (no idea) has always been on the high side of A times for his age.

[carolina_bug]

Mine was a big guy too.  He was 8 lbs. 6 oz and I'm 5'3"! 

So I did the A time at 1.45 and he slept the entire 1.5 for his 1st and 2nd nap, then couldn't transition past the 45 min mark for his 3rd and is soooo miserable when I wake him after 40 min for the cat nap.  Should I try going less time for his 3rd or just stick with it?  Is 5:30 too early for bedtime?  He's so cranky for the 45 min that he's up after the catnap.

Sorry there's so many questions.

[amayzie]

I think at that age it can just get a bit overwhelming for them at the end of the day! you are expecting 2 naps and a cat nap pretty soon, so i wouldn't stress about the last nap being short. I would think that 5.30 might be to early for bed- you don't want the wake up to start moving early as well. I would just try stuff like putting him in a baby carrier at the end of the day, using a swing or rocker- something that cheers him up. I remember at this age my guy would just seem to get tireder and tireder as the day went on- even with 2 good naps at the start. I think too the over stimulation of the day can get to them making them cranky.