Starting EASY with 3 week old. Help!

[jcsmom]

I am back! After many years of struggling with sleep with my now 5 year old, we decided to do it again! Chloe is 3 weeks on Friday with some super wonky sleep. I think I have figured out our problem. Here is what happened yesterday to today. Perhaps someone can shed some light on how I can get started with EASY given our current weird situation.
E 3pm
S 3-3:45 put in swing and slept from 4-6:30pm
E 6:30 not really awake
S 7:15-11pm
E 11pm
S 11:30-2:45
E 2:45am
S 3:15-5:15
E not really just fussed off and on until 5:45
S 5:45-6:30
E 6:30-7:15 not really awake just feeding(awake every 45 mins from 5:15)
S 7:15-9:15am

And from 9:15 am she slept every 45 mins-hour for 10 minutes until 3pm where she slept for 45 minutes. Then she was up until 5 and is asleep now and it's 6pm. I am at a total loss for why the short naps. I have kept her A times super short. Did she get too much night sleep basically sleeping from 3pm-9am with little or no A time. Prior to this she was sleeping for 1.5-2 hours up for a feed then back down. Nights have been great with a feed at 10 or 11 and one at 2 or 3 thenagain at 6:30 or 7. I need HELP!!!!!!

[amayzie]

Try to remember hon that they can do all sorts of crazy things in these first few weeks! I would try though to keep her up for a little longer in the day- as in a bit closer to an hour, then down for a nap. I think it looks like she did lots of sleeping and then was a bit out of whack. I would try feeding her, then up for an hour (including the feed) then down. It can be hard with a sleepy one- i had lots of trouble with mine like that- but it might help to even her out!

[jcsmom]

Thanks for your reply! She has had some whacky sleep. It's like she gets all her sleep in one huge block and then doesn't need any more. Last night looked like this:
wake6:15pm after sleeping over an hour.
E: 6:30
S:6:45-11:45pm!
E:11:45
S: 12:15-2:45am
E:3:00
S 3:30-5:30am
E: 5;30
S: 6:15-8:15am
E: 8:30
S? She has been up for almost an hour and is showing no signs of being tired! How do I shift some of the sleep she is getting to throughout the day instead of all in one big chunk? Yesterday she was pretty cranky and despite all the APOP she would not sleep. She is really a very good natured little pumpkin when she gets sleep. Do I just go with her sleep patterns for now and let her sleep when she wants or try to spread out some sleep? Thanks!
 

[amayzie]

You can go with it for a bit- but i'm just worried she'll switch the day and night- can you post up an easy with the day in it too so i can see how that's going?

how are you settling her? are you doing a wind down? are you wrapping her? does she seem to be in pain at all?

[jcsmom]

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh! So you are right. If I let her sleep in the day she is up alllllllll night. I am at a loss. Yesterday looked like this:
e:5:30
s:6:15-8:15
E:8:30
S:9:30-11:30 9woke her)
E 11:30
S: 12:15-1:45
E 2pm
S: 3-3:45
E 4
S: 5-6:30 (woke her)
E 6:30
S: 7:15-8:45
E:9
S9:30-12:30
then she fussed alllllllllll night after that until 5:30 where she slept quietly for 45 mins. Now she is asleep in her swing from 8:15.
She can handle 1 hour-1.25 A time most times quite happily. She is getting around 16-17 hours in 24. So how do I go about not letting her sleep too much in the day and still follow her cues? Any suggestions? I had severe PPD with my son and obsessed over his sleep. So much so that I had to go on meds. I fear I am heading down the same path again. She settles independently and is wrapped in a Miracle Blanket. i have been letting her sleep in the swing for naps with 1 crib nap. The crib nap has been 45 mins. The swing naps go on and on. Should I just let her sleep in her bed and let her do what she will do even if it is 30-45 mins? Do I keep bedtime at 7pm?

[ZacsMumme]

Hun what happens when she wakes at 30/45 mins? Crying? Jolts? Eyes pop open? Grizzling?

[jcsmom]

Oh boy. I realize now that the reason for her short naps are waaaaay too long A times. After doing some internet searches I see I havee been keeping her up way too long. She is just over 3 weeks and I was giving her an hour to an hour and a half depending on the time of day. When I gave her 45 mins wake times she sleeps like a dream! So how to I implement EASY in the evenings when my DH is home wanting to play with her? She is a really easy baby in that she never cries even when OT. Her sleepy cues are really hard to read. How much day sleep and night sleep should she be getting at this age?

[amayzie]

Oh hon! Great thay you've struck that! 45 mins is on the shorter side- BUT some babies just can't handle much more! As far as DH wanting to play- what's the issue here? that she's asleep by the time he's home? that he wants to play for ages? Either way- this phase will really, in the scheme of things be REALLY short, in only a few weeks really she'll be staying up longer, PLUS she'll be much more fun to play with! So keep the A times short so you keep getting the long sleeps and settled baby. I got DH to do the bath as this needed to be done and it gave him some great DS time with daddy. At 3 weeks we did the bath at the 8pm (or so) waking, then moved it to earlier once this waking went.

[jcsmom]

I know 45 mins is short but after sleeping for 2 hours last night she fed and stayed awake for 45 mins. This AM too. So I am thinking my 1-1.5 hours is just way too long. This AM she was up from 7:30-8:45 and slept for 20 mins then I settled her and she slept for another 20 mins fed and went right back to sleep and has been sleeping for 1.5 hours. She did do a stretch of 6 hours last night though!

What do you recommend for A times at 3 weeks? She is so alert that it's hard to read her signs but I do know long A times create 20 min naps. Should I go with the first yawn? Sometimes she is up, nurses and falls right back to sleep in 30 mins then I put her down and she may wake and usually can put herself back to sleep. Also, if she falls asleep nursing when I re-swaddle she wakes and then it is super hard to re-settle her. Like the 3 minutes of sleep was enough!

My DH is worried about me obsessing over sleep again so I try to let him decide when to put her down and he doesn't read her cues. He wants to play with her and gets her totally overstimulated.

How many naps should I go with? Should I wake her at a consistent time each day? I just let her sleep when she is sleeping and am not waking ever. this ok for now? I really don't want to obsess over sleep again this time around, it really ruined my experience with my son when a newborn but know too much about sleep to just "go with the flow". Sometimes I just wish I didn't care!

[amayzie]

No no- i didn't mean tht 45 mins was wrong- that's a fine time at 3 weeks, you know your LO- some of them can only handle a feed and a nappy change.

I would TRY to be firm with DH and give him a task to do like the bath- and even encourage him to do the bed time, but keep the A time short! What you know about sleep means that you KNOW that she will be better rested and a happier baby to be around if the sleep is right. So don't obsess- but keep firm with DH- it's nt crazy mumma- you're the one who has to deal with it all day! Perhaps you could suggest to DH that DS needs some one on one daddy time and let him manage your DS's bed time and such- so after a short play just take the baby and send DH to manage DS... (not sure how this works time wise). Your DD really won't miss that much daddy time- but your DS probably will! It must be a hard juggle!

As far as waking- i would generally not let her sleep more than 3 hours through the day at a time as more than that she might confuse day and night. 3.5 hours is ok every now and then- but i'd watch out for more. Other than that- i'd just go with it!

Also- really try not to stress too much about sleep and independant sleep- what you hopefully know from your DS is that anything you do can be undone when you need it to be- so don't stress if you APOP a few naps, you'll have the tools to fix it later.

Oh- and don't worry about a consistent wake time- that will come in time, and don't count naps at this point- you are just going with a rolling easy- 45 mins up- up to 3 hours down, feed on waking and repeat! It's going to be a few more weeks till you have something that resembles the easy in the book- and that's totally fine and normal! Embrace your inner 'go with the flow' person!

[jcsmom]

Ok so now I am so confused. Is she UT or OT. the last 2 naps have gone like this:

E: 7:30 (fell asleep while nursing after 15 mins. Woke when I swaddled her. Rocked her a biut and put her in crib after 30 mins. Fell asleep independently then woke after 10, and 20 mins. Settled her then she woke screaming after about another 20-30 mins Put her in swing and she slept until 11am

11am E She fell asleep while nursing after about 40- mins so I lied with her hoping to get sleep. She stirred after 10 mins then woke after 20. She just lied there looking around. No crying nothing. So again, swing and she's now asleep.

What? Should I go with an hour A time after she's fully awake from her little snooze nursing? She is perfectly able to fall asleep independently. I just swaddle, sway, sing and put down. Sometimes she needs a bit of a belly rub but never til fully asleep. Last night after she woke at 7, I put her down at 8:15 and she cried for over 2 hours! I am at a loss.

[jcsmom]

I am dying here. Please would someone give me some insight? Last night she cried from 8-10 then slept til 1 then again til 5:45. She went down for what I thought was another hour but now I am wondering if this is where I go wrong in my day. I slept in the room with her and I could hear her yawn, move etc etc. but no crying. She woke (or so I thought when my son came in the room at 7:15. Could she just have been awake in her crib so when I put her down this morning she was already overtired?
Every single time I have attempted to get her to sleep she wakes after only 10 mins. I don't get it. I have nursed her, put her in her crib and when she wakes she does nothing. Doesn't cry just looks around. She was in her crib for over an hour awake and just yawning, moving around etc but no crying. She was up and wide awake from 2:30-5:30 except for these 3 10 minute naps. I finally put ehr in the swing and she was out cold. I went to check on her and she's wide awake!
Also she never goes down at the same time every night. Every thing I read says newborns go down at 11pm or so but she is down for the night anywhere between 8 and 9:30. It just depends on when she wakes from her last nap. She has zero consistency. I am losing my mind again slowly.

[amayzie]

Ok honey- you need to work really hard and take a little step back- she is really little- you can honestly at this point do what ever you need to to get her have some sleep- so if she needs to do some sleeps in a swing, or in a carrier, or in the pram, or in the car- then do that. ESPECIALLY with this being your #2 you need to be a little more flexible with it. Focus on getting her into bed for ONE nap- or the start of one nap, and perhaps bed time. This is all you need to be firm about right now.

Also- is she 4 weeks now? she is due for a growth spurt- so that could be the fussiness you had last night..

Don't orry about bed time- it won't become regular for a few more weeks yet- my guy was similar to yours, he was often up at 9.00 or 8.30 or so and then asleep an hour later.

Also- babies will be awake and asleep on and off, try not to stress about that- it will even out. They DO have not much consistency at this age- it will improve, but it does seem like that will take forever!

If you ARE feeling really down and anxious have you thought about posting on our PDD board? or having a read of the info there- or having a chat to your doctor? I think that by now the baby blues should have passed- so if you think that you are feeling overly anxious about your LO and her sleep a chat to your GP might be a good idea...

It is hard when they are little as they can be all over the shop!! :*