19 MO Going off track - NW

[tahiranisa]

So, his attitude today (before 4pm) was pretty great. His appetite was too. His nose is still runny but if he was sick, he seems to be coming out of it and if its allergies he seems to be adjusting.

330: EW with wet diaper and sheets
400 I was back in bed so he was asleep within 30 minutes maybe less
500: WU (too early but with a 630 BT it is pretty typical for us)
9:40-1005: CN
1pm - tried nap, he didn't seem tired enough I suppose. He was tired but just not enough
1:40 quit trying for the nap
230: Not tired enough for a nap
300: i was gone but asked DH to put DS down but it didn't work (probably a half hearted effort)
400: he becomes psycho baby
5:15 start BT ritual
5:40: asleep

So, I am expecting a terrible night since he was so OT by bedtime. Besides that, even if he slept all night, he will definitely be up for the day before 530 because he has NEVER slept more than 11 hours. So yeah. Despite a pretty good night last night, I think I set us back a few days today...

If I could stop the negative commentary running through my head and focus on the positive:
1. He had only one NW last night and it was after 9 straight hours of sleep
2. He was happy when he woke at 5
3. He ate well
4. He had a pretty good personality almost all day
5. Thanksgiving is four days away and no matter where we are then with our schedule, my parents will be here and I can take a nap during the day.

I think if I let him cn tomorrow it has to be very short or very early. But i might be better off without it and with an early nap. Especially because we had so much trouble with the 2-1 I would hate to get him used to two naps again!

[tahiranisa]

First NW 1030. BW a hysterical boy for 45 minutes, got him to settle a bit (not be screaming) but never enough to not be patting his back or have him not be hanging from around my neck while he was standing. After his nightlight turned off (marks I've been there for 45 minutes) and he cried about it, I told him that if he laid down, let me change his diaper, I would give him a small bottle. Which I did. He settled independently after that. I will continue with the 45min BW followed by bottle probably for each NW tonight. If I manage to get well into GW or get him asleep in 45 minutes then we will have survived bottle free. It is too much to get this OT boy to sleep after not having a nap all day AND worry about his props.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun, Okay so here's what I see when I look at yesterday.

500: WU (too early but with a 630 BT it is pretty typical for us)
9:40-1005: CN

This A time could work but not for a  cat nap because the longer they are awake before the nap the longer they need to sleep, so when he was woken from the cat nap he would have been still very tired. So that meant that he needed you to try for the 2nd nap much earlier. Also his day was very long. It sounds like he handles OT very well, but he is undoubtedly a very tired little fella.

I'm not a huge authority on 2 nap routines so I'm going to ask for back up Hun. Hang in there.x.

[mimi21]

Following along here, and wishing you luck. Trying similar things. Hugs xx

[becj86]

500: WU (too early but with a 630 BT it is pretty typical for us)
9:40-1005: CN
1pm - tried nap, he didn't seem tired enough I suppose. He was tired but just not enough

When we did a catnap after an A time like this, we did a very short (1.5-2hr) A time after and DS slept much better.

I think since you're ok with the early bedtime and not trying to shift his day, I'd be pushing for the one nap (provided he can breathe - is his stuffy nose what's causing the short napping still?) I'd go for a minimum of 5hr A time first up (ideally 5.5hr). With my little boy, also 19 months, we've been having NW's for a long while but the few times he did STTN, it was due to set nap and set BT, ride out the OT til you get there. He has been having short (8hr45) nights but lying in bed quietly either side of that sleep and I'm assured that sounds developmental... If your guy is an independent sleeper, honestly I'd be setting naptime and setting BT and giving it a week or two for his body to get used to it rather than tweaking every day because until you're consistent with one thing, you're not going to see any patterns that you can work from. 

[Truly Blessed]

Great advise from Bec Hun, I agree entirely. Good Luck.x.

[tahiranisa]

I think that is how yesterday went though the nanny was home and my husband relieved him and I am not 100% sure. I do know he woke up at

415 WU, laid down and kind of slept in a combination of his and our bed until 515.
515 out of our bed
probably a stroller CN in the 9am hour
12-2 nap
6:15 start BT
7 hard BT but asleep

Slept through until
330 EW

Here is where I get hysterical. He is screaming and crying. He wants milk. He won't lie down. He going hysterical if I sit on the ground. I am too pregnant to be standing there all night with a screaming toddler hanging from my neck. I try things for 30 minutes and then decide that I just cant. He is crying, I am crying. It is a disaster. So, I go back to bed and ask my DH to deal with it. I know he will give him milk but I don't care at this point. I would have given in in 15 minutes anyway. The next thing I know, he is arriving WITH MY CHILD TO MY BED AT 4am. It might seem like I bring my baby into my bed every night but not before 5. And when my son comes to bed he is exclusively dealt with by me, so DH bringing him to bed is essentially me still doing it all. I tried to convince DH that this was not ok but arguing over all this when we have been up since 330 and it is 4am is freaking ridiculous. So, I got up and went to the guest room. Now I can hear them walking back and forth between my room and the baby;s room trying to compromise. It is just getting worse.

[tahiranisa]

So at 415 I intervened and had DS asleep with milk and back patting by 440. I laid on his floor doing gw till 5. he slept till 545 and sang songs in our bed till 6

[tahiranisa]

Just did Naptime. He needed back patting to get to sleep. Grrr. Saturday had seemed so promising. Feel like Ive just been moving backward since. The milk is playing a more and more critical role and now he requires milk AND backpatting not only at NW but at NAP!?! There are so many pieces going off kilter and I don't even have the runny nose to blame it on anymore...

So recap so far:
330 EW
440 asleep
545 WU
1120 started naptime ritual
1137 asleep but I patted his back to get him there.

The worst part is that I think with the hormones and the impending due date and the no sleep, I am just not functioning the way I should be. We had to leave storytime at the library today because I just couldn't handle him. He wasn't being bad but he was more interested in the fireplace and the teacher's cough drops than singing the songs and I don't have the energy required to care for him/chase him/guide him to be interested in other things. And I am about to have TWO! So, the pressure is just getting to me...

I will wait up and sneak in at 35 minutes in case he wakes after 45. I am torn between that and just getting some sleep. Maybe I will lie in bed and set an alarm and decide when the time comes...

[becj86]

I think the patting may have to happen for a while til he's used to the consistent routine. Things have been quite inconsistent for a few weeks at least and he is clearly overtired or going through a tough developmental patch so sticking to that set nap and BT like glue for probably at least 2 weeks will be really important.

[tahiranisa]

OK, here are some resolutions. We need to just get on a schedule that is predictable and do what it takes to shorten NW. So, for now, its milk and patting. I will do small bottles, just a couple ounces, and take out the daytime milk that isn't associated with naptime. I seem on the verge of a breakdown though so even getting to something predictable and bad would be a step forward. When i was giving milk at nightime, he was able to sleep independently during the day and at bedtime. Now that I have introduced all of these new props night after night (patting, shushing, boucning his mattress, GW) he wants them at every sleep event. I think sticking with just the milk and keeping it consistent might help. It is also the easiest and right now I have to go for the easiest or go on anxiety medicine to deal with the no sleep/hormones/impending 2nd child.

He is developing by leaps and bounds. A month ago he had barely five words and now he seems able to repeat anything I say. He also just seems significantly older since the strep throat. Even his playdate mamas have commented. So, maybe that is what caused all of this to start. Having a (theorized) reason helps me not feel so insane about it all.

So, today:
330 EW
440 asleep
545 WU
1120 started naptime ritual
1135 asleep but I patted his back to get him there.
1250 up after hour fifteen nap I was even in his room to get him back to sleep but I guess didn't move fast enough. Wasn't sure when to start patting him or shushing. Around an hour he started rolling over and stuff. Took 15 minutes and then he went from laying down asleep, to standing up in about 5 seconds.
Then we got in the rocking chair to read books and ended up both napping there. That was probably a very bad idea. It was our first nap in the chair ever. Slept till 210 though, when I actually woke him because I realized we were asleep and he had been for nearly 2.5 hours.
630 Started BT ritual. Then my husband noticed a spider in my sons room and that involved a 5-10 minute interruption because my husband is obsessive about bugs. Goodness. We can't catch a break.

It is 715 now, they are still reading. I have to go to bed because I am working 11pm-4am. I know he should have been asleep before now but with the nap till 215 it just wasn't in the cards.

On another note, I feel like you all must be very frustrated because I am doing all of the things I am not supposed to do. Sorry about that. Please don't give up on me! Thanks for the help so far ladies.

[becj86]

Hey, I have a 19month old who is still waking in the night too and is happy to lie in bed for an hour or more before sleeping at night and after he wakes for the day - its hard not to wonder what's going on and try to fix it, but by remaining consistent with when you offer nap and bedtime, you will give him a chance to self-regulate amount of sleep. Once he's not so overtired, the night wakings may disappear - certainly I've been back and forth thinking BF at night is a prop and not plenty of times in the last month or two but he has also slept through with no wakings in that time, when he's been well rested so I know he *can* do it.

Is he or has he ever been a true independent sleeper - put in bed completely awake and leave and he goes to sleep on his own?

[tahiranisa]

He definitely has been an independent sleeper for months now, at least since we weaned right at 15 months but I think since about a year. He also used to resettle himself at.night without issue unless he pooped. He does get a bottle before bed so occassionally he has been put down pretty darn close.to asleep or asleep.but.mostly not. He is still 100% independent to fall asleep at bt. NW and now naps are getting totally dependent though. But even Saturday all sleep events were independent.

His sleep issues usually revolve aroud ew and short naps.

[becj86]

Once an independent sleeper, they always have the skill there - just keep it in practise as much as you can. Sounds like a lot is developmental and possible a little SA in there too (apparently happens quite a bit when mum is pregnant) - DS has SA atm too.

[tahiranisa]

So today was OK for me and DH but bad for the nanny who did naptime. Overall, I would rate us as progressing.

Slept almost through the night with an EW at 445

445 EW. Laid in bed with me patting back until 515. Laid by himself until 530
530-6 laid/sang/played in our bed
10 VERY short catnap, 10-15 minutes when he fell asleep on the bus with nanny
1145 - Nanny tried Naptime. DS didnt fall asleep until 110 probably but he did it kind of independently. The nanny was in his room, ignoring him so no back patting no rocking none of that. He had a lot trouble but I think a big part was that my son was screaming at first and so the nanny tried to put him down in the guest room so as not to wake me because I was sleeping during the day after working all night. I talked this over with the nanny and told him that he should have stayed in DS room and I think we cleared up where the nanny went wrong. Anyway...
110-305 Naptime
645 we started BT ritual
715 Asleep. He put himself down 100% independently. It was wonderful. He was calling to us, but not really for us. And he wasn't crying. I was very proud of him

Hoping for a good night.