2yo still pretty uninterested in eating *positive update 13/01/13*

[Hedgehog17]

He never has been particularly interested in food, and now I can't even blame teething as he cut all 20 before his 2nd birthday 

As he's just turned 2.25, we weighed and measured him, and he hasn't grown or put on weight in 3 months  I have been taking the 'not caring of he eats or not' approach, but it obviously hasn't worked, and now I'm worrying again 

I find eating fairly uninteresting too, and prefer to do it at the laptop or with the TV on. DS will eat tons if I put the TV on and let him eat on the sofa, particularly if I feed him  I know it's a bad habit and I try not to do it, but it works 

We can't have family meals as DS only wants what DH and I are eating and won't eat his own, even if it's the same things  Mealtimes are taking sooooooo long as DS just wants to muck around. Taking him down when he does is no punishment, as he then gets to avoid eating, which is what he wants!

He sometimes tells us his tummy hurts, which we explain is because it's empty and needs food. Doesn't make any difference 

I cannot find any way to motivate him to eat (apart from the aforementioned TV  ) 

He's now down to 5oz A2 milk with breakfast, 5oz after nap, and 6oz Pepti formula before bed. He's doing ok on the A2 milk (it's for MPI folk)  I am trying to drop the post-nap cup but he cries for it as he's hungry due to picking at his lunch  Sometimes he'll have a snack in the morning, but it's usually very little. He gets no snack in the afternoon, as after his milk, I don't think he needs one.

He's currently sleeping for Britain - I think due to winter darkness - doing 13 hours overnight and a 2 - 2.5 hour nap. I'm letting him sleep as it means the lack of calories won't affect him so much. I don't know if letting him sleep less would make him eat more though... 

He has 1 or 2 poops per day and isn't dehydrated, so I know he's managing to get enough food to function, but he isn't growing and I don't know how worried I should be about that 

[Jimbob]

It is so hard when a child will not eat. My ds had a severe food aversion so  he went a long time just drinking neocate and eating raisins due to the issues he had. It was a very difficult time but I am happy to say we got through it and my ds eats a varied diet now at 8 years old. There are still some foods he will not even try but I don't worry about that.

If your ds will eat food from yours and your dh's plates then I would let him do this for now. You could put a little more on your  plates than you normally would. I know there are lots of people that would disagree with this but if it helps get food into your lo and means you can sit at a table together then it might be worth trying. It might also be worth trying buffet style meals where your ds can choose what he would like to eat  if you haven't already. One thing I was advised to try once my ds was eating a few foods was to offer small meals but more frequently so the meal was over  and done with quickly. It  did not always work but I just had to go with the flow.

I think we probably broke all the rules when it came to getting our son to start eating again. I decided it did not matter as helping my son to accept food again was more important.

My dd went through a fussy stage to at around 2 years old. We were advised to put heron minadex tonic for a while as this increases their appetite and usually gets them eating again. It worked a treat for my dd and we only kept her on it for a few weeks. It did not work   for my ds but his situation was more complicated.

I think it would be worth while getting your ds checked by the doctor and see if he/she is concerned with lack of growth/weight gain and then you can decide where you want to go from there.

Kelly

[TB9]

(((hugs)))

I remember your thread a few months ago...tbh I let DD have her am snack while she watches sesame street (usually juice mixed with water and some sort of crackers or graham crackers or something) and her pm snack I put out some water and some fruit slices or cucumber sticks around where she's playing.  I wouldn't worry too too much about letting him snack while he watches his favourite show or while he plays.

We do eat meals at the table, but I usually have some music or something on so that it isn't so boring

For comparison DD is down to 5oz milk  before her nap, and 5oz milk before bed in a sippy.  When we started cutting back her 8oz bottle at night and switched to a 5oz sippy I noticed a big difference in the amount she ate during the day.  I'm sure you will notice a difference in his appetite if you decide to cut out his milk after his nap.

I think you do have a point with the amount of sleep he is getting coinciding with the amount of food he eats...he seems really high sleep needs   Do you think he will start eating more when he is able to have more A time?  Would you want to try cutting his nap back?  Do you think he needs all the sleep he is getting, or he just sleeps because he's told it's time to sleep?

From what I've heard/read (and correct me if I'm wrong!) but I think after 2yo kids growth does start to slow down...I don't think DD has gained much weight since her last appointment with the doctor (at least not according to our scale at home!).

I hope things get better!  Keep us updated

[*jazzberry*]

I don't know your history but just wondering if there is a reqson he is having so much milk? I just remember with ds1 (who still hardly eats anything) that when he was having milk twice a day at about 2 years old he ate next to nothing. When I cut the milk to just at bedtime his appetite improved considerably (still hardly anything but a lot more than before)

[TB9]

I forgot to say that DD also eats from our plates at meal time.  I usually have extra on my plate and just put a bit of everything on hers.

Have you tried having him help you prepare the meals?  Sometimes toddlers get excited about eating when they're part of the preparation and everything.

[Hedgehog17]

Thanks ladies 

He's having so much milk because he's MPI, so I can't give him cheese or yoghurt. He can tolerate a small pot of goat's yoghurt 1 x per day. I'm attempting to give him the suggested number of dairy portions per day according to the food charts... The good news is that his intolerance is slowly starting to lessen, so I'm hoping we will be able to introduce cheese at 3yo 

I'm having to let him down from the table after he's eaten a bit, then he'll pop back every so often and have another spoonful while standing on the floor. I know the ideal is to have them finish a meal at the table, but he's just not there yet 

I'm letting him snack in front of the TV..

His sleep needs went down a couple of months ago, then rocketed back up again  I think it's the time of year as we're not getting much daylight and DH and I are really sleepy too! If I dig DS up from his nap any sooner than 2h, he is miserable    It is not affecting his nights at all, he goes off no bother and sleeps through  If he needs the sleep right now I'll let him have it 

Sorry, I can't help freaking about his growth, as he was FTT at 3mo and I've never gotten over that    I don't know if it's 'normal' or not for him to not grow in 3 months at this age 

Appetite wise, he is not the best. He had a small party at P&T, and he ate the 2nd smallest amount of the 8 toddlers there  I know I shouldn't compare but you can't help it!!

His post-nap milk is now down to 4oz, and he's having all A2 milk now and no formula, so we're on the right track I hope...

[*jazzberry*]

Hugs honestly I have been through it all with ds1, he was nearly off the charts at 4 months too and it is hard not to worry. Nowadays I am happy to have 2 energetic skinny boys, I figure it should set them up well later in life, I still find it hard not to worry about what they eat though. What does yopur doctor/health visitor think about the lack of weight gain?

[Hedgehog17]

Thanks Jazz 

DS did drop off the chart at 3mo  Since his MPI diagnosis and the change to formula he did pick up again rapidly though 

I can't take him to the HV as they are all useless, and the doctors are so busy right now they are not available for 'non-urgent' things  TBH I don't want him to end up referred to the paed again as that was horrible  It may sound bad, but I actually trust what other mums have written on the internet more than the local medical lot, as our experiences with them before were so awful 

[Mashi]

I don't think that I would expect him to grow in a 3 month time at that age.  In the Red Book the growth charts show that a child who is on the 50th centile would only be expected to gain 500 grams from 2yo to 2y3m in order to stay on that same curve of 50%...and kids are not expected to always stay on that same curve iyswim. By not putting on anything in that period it only drops a child on 50th percentile down to about 40th, not a curve line.  I would not stress about it - they tend to grow in spurts at this age. Nothing noticeable at all and then in the time near their half birthdays and birthdays, they have a big leap (ie a few hundred grams and a centimetre or two all in the space of a a month or so). 

While he does need the dairy servings, after 1year of age, milk is not meant to be a "meal" but to be a beverage that we have with our meals. So a feed of 5-6 ounces at his age is a meal. I think that he is having milk as meals and then food is only a snack for him. I would start giving him his milk feeds as a beverage that he has WITH his meals and snacks and not separatley.   A few ounces in a cup with his breakfast, some with his morning snack, a bit with his lunch, etc and he will get enough in the day - but it is a drink not a meal or a feed.

I'd also do as a PP says and if he is only interested in the food that you and your DH have, then don't put the food out on plates and serve. Put the food on the table in the centre and give everyone an empty plate and you all serve yourselves.  Allow him to reach and take what he wants

[TB9]

I would start giving him his milk feeds as a beverage that he has WITH his meals and snacks and not separatley.   A few ounces in a cup with his breakfast, some with his morning snack, a bit with his lunch, etc and he will get enough in the day - but it is a drink not a meal or a feed.

I started giving DD milk with her meals in a real (but plastic ) cup instead of a sippy and that really decreased her milk intake at meals, which she replaced with food at meals   Some nights she even refuses any milk in her sippy before bed!

I've also stopped stressing about whether she eats big snacks, at this age she really only needs a little snack and then will eat a decent meal.  Not that I limit her snacks, but I just don't stress if she only eats a little snack...I've also realized that if she eats a big snack then she won't eat a big meal

I hope things get better for you.  I would start with cutting his 5oz milk at breakfast and/or his "snack" milk after his nap and replace it with food and see how that affects his appetite.  How many servings of milk should they be getting at this age/day?  I imagine 5oz of milk is actually a little bit more than one serving?

***Just looked it up and one serving of milk for a toddler is 1/2cup (4oz), and most sources I've seen recommend 2-3 servings of dairy/day for a toddler (one source only recommended 2 servings/day).  I imagine 3x5oz of milk/day is affecting his appetite.  Don't be worried to cut back so he starts eating more food   Most sites I looked at also said toddlers grow slower, and only need 1/4 - 1/2 of the amount of food an adult needs (depending on activity level)...I know easier said than done, but try not to worry!  Once you get his milk cut back a bit I'm guessing his appetite for food will likely improve and stabilize according to how active he is ***

[Hedgehog17]

Thanks ladies 

As of the last 3 days, I have stopped giving him his post-nap milk  He now comes downstairs after his nap and has a small cup of coconut water to drink instead 

I realised a couple of mornings ago that I'm actually putting 6oz of milk into his porridge (if he has that for breakfast) and the last few times he's had it this week he's eaten the lot  (and this is after 4oz to drink from his cup) - so that's 10oz already before lunchtime! I'm still giving him 6oz before bed, whatever he's eaten in the day - he sleeps so long at night that I think he probably needs that to sustain him 

Interestingly enough he is doing much better at breakfast and lunch, but not so well at teatime. He has also developed some firm favourites which this week are porridge and fish fingers (not together  ). He's decided that if he really likes something he'll eat quite a lot of it, especially if it can be 'stolen' from our plates as well... 

I tried putting out a lunch selection for us both to choose from, but he wasn't any keener on it and still wanted to eat what was on my plate instead of taking the same food and putting it on his  He also wanted to pass me things 

This evening he decided to have a howling fit upon being offered pasta  Eventually we gave up and got him one of his dratted stage 2 pouches, but he was still howling and refusing to eat until DH put a video on his computer and DS was instantly distracted so I could shovel spoonfuls of puree into DS's mouth  He finished it happily after that, then sucked down a fruit pouch, then had a biscuit - he must have been hungry....

So now I don't know if the hysterics are because he's decided to have a battle to get what he wants, if he genuinely doesn't like the offered food (but as he won't even try it how do we know?), if he's hungry but can't be bothered to eat, if he's peeved because he's had to stop playing to come to the table, or a combination of the above 

He has also been asking us to get him something else if he decides he doesn't want what's on offer  With a normal child I would let him go hungry, but with mine that doesn't work - he would rather go hungry than eat something he has decided against 

[*jazzberry*]

That sounds like a positive update! My kids either do a good lunch or a good tea, never both, they all do a good brekkie though. Will he try the offered food (eg pasta) if he can 'steal' it from your plate? That way at least you know if he likes it or not. I still find it difficult (read impossible ) to get ds1 to try new food so no advice there i'm afraid. My only advice would be to try and keep your emotions and feelings hidden/neutral about the whole thing because the kids for sure pick up on it, I wonder for us if that is part of the problem with my ds or if he would have been like that anyway .  Great to hear he is eating more though :-)

[Hedgehog17]

In the last 2 weeks he's been eating 

We weighed and measured him yesterday, a month since last time, and he's grown 2cm and put on 0.4 kg 

He's now down to 12oz milk per day, 6 in the morning either in porridge or with cereal, and 6oz at BT. His appetite for everything else has picked up considerably and it's showing  He's now tracking his curve again on the red book chart 

Also just read this http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Child-Wont-Eat-mealtimes/dp/1780660057/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=DU63EUII3JN2&coliid=I3MZCY99X41MP6

Am trying not to feel guilty for coaxing him to eat one more bite so much before 

[*jazzberry*]

That's great to hear!