30 month old toddler, 5mo baby & serious night issues!!

[Nb1984]

Well I have been frantically reading all the posts on here about gradual withdrawal etc as I had found myself doing that this last week. Help!!

My DD is 30 months old and DS is 5 months. DD has always been a good sleeper, settled well at night time and really would only be unsettled due to teething or changes needed to routine. In the last few months I've had to cap her nap at an hour so she was still going to bed ok. She definitely still seems to need that one hour nap.

So until a fortnight ago her day was:
6.45/7am wake
1-2pm nap
7.15 bedtime

Most nights I wouldn't hear from her, occasionally I would have I tuck her back in but since DS has been sleeping through she has too as not much to disturb her!

About a fortnight ago she started waking about 3/4am and seemed hysterical like she was having bad dreams, kept saying something green was bothering her, which definitely wasn't anything actually in her bedroom. She wasn't well one night so I stupidly let we doze off on me in the chair after her stories so she then wanted to do that every night. She seemed to be scared to go into her cot so we offered her a toddler bed which she was thrilled to bits about!!

So tonight is night 4 in the toddler bed...this is our week!!

Monday night
Bed no fuss and slept through

Tuesday night
Bed 7.30 after a lot of sitting and calming (I was on the bed) and left once she was asleep
10pm woke screaming hysterically for me, I walked in and just sat on the floor and she immediately went quiet. Took 30 mins and I left.
3am woke and I was sat on her bedroom floor until 5.15am when I tried to leave, she got straight out of bed, I put her back in and got very cross and she did go to sleep. I heard her call out to me a few times but she went back off.

Wednesday
8.30am I woke her so day wasn't ruined
1-2pm nap (she was shattered!)
7-8pm bedtime, took forever of sitting on her bedroom floor tonight.
3am (it's now 4.15am and I am still sat here!) I thought she was asleep a while ago but I left and she followed me out onto the landing straight away.

So...the stretches of me sitting here seem to be getting worse rather than better?! She has never had one of us in her room for her to sleep so I actually feel like its making it harder for her but I've tried walking in and walking out and it just winds her up so much that she's then hysterical! It worked very well when she was about 18-20 months but not anymore.

Tonight she hasn't been hysterical like she was, the fear seems to be gone, which is what is making me think now she just thinks its a fun game for me to come and sit on her bedroom floor!!

So really I am after some advice...after all that!! How do I break this cycle?! Thank you!

[Nb1984]

I forgot to add, that ever since DS was born she's been great, she adores him, they are great together and I haven't had any jealousy issues between them, no hitting or biting etc, just in case that's useful!

[Nb1984]

I'm updating to keep a diary for myself, so I don't go mad!!

She didn't go back to sleep, so basically started her day at 3.15am, we went out to pick us some Christmas food and she fell asleep in the car home about 10.15 so I let her sleep until 12. Hoping that keeping going h til bed at 7pm tonight will get her tired enough, me and my husband will probably be shortly behind her!!!

[*Becky*]

The first thing I would do is get a gro-clock or similar. That way she will know when it is time to start the day and when she needs to go back to sleep. We have been using one for just over 2 years and they are great!

I would put a gate on her door if you have not already and just try to be very consistent with removing the contact so lots of talk during the day about what a big girl she is and how BT will go i.e. talk to her about the steps so first we will read a book, then tuck you in, then hug or whatever and then leave. If she is just messing about when you leave tbh I would leave her to it as she will get bored if she knows you will not be there. If she is very upset then calmly put her back into bed and repeat repeat.

The only other thing I wonder is whether she could be a bit OT now from the disrupted nights so it might be worth trying for an earlier BT for a night or two.

What do you think?