twice a night

[Skazm]

oK, you guys are gonna say we spoiled him and made our own beds (pun intended) buuut...

DS was in my bed straight until he was about 14 months, when it became uncomfortable.  We switched him into his own room made babyproof with a high security gate, and I would nurse him 'til he fell asleep.  Now, my husband goes in twice a night to him (though last night he screamed TATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS at the top of his lungs which meant he wanted to nurse so I nursed him...and he didn't sleep for an hour!!)   His schedule totally went nuts after a trip to a family event, where he actually slept through the night twice after but returned to his old hijinks. 

This is the method we're using now (and were using before the trip):

I go in, lay on the mattress next to his toddler bed (we had to change it cause he already crawled out of the crib) and nurse him while saying Shma (nighttime prayers) and singing a bit.  Then his father comes in and hugs him, calms him down if he's nervous or just lays down next to him until he falls asleep.  But he still generally wakes once or twice a night.

We are trying to get him to sleep through the night!  Besides taking him into my bed on occasion (guilty but trying hard not to - btw I nurse him to sleep on either my bed or that mattress for nap time sometimes in broad daylight - could this be causing a problem?)  So besides taking him into my bed on occasion, letting him nurse to sleep in the daytime, and letting someone be in the room with him when he falls asleep, what are we doing wrong?  And since from reading the book those things AREhaving a deleterious effect on the plan, what the heck am I supposed to do instead that doesn't involve him howling his poor little tail off??!

Thanks for any advice.

[Buntybear]

Hi there, how old is your LO now? Does he have a nap? Could you give us an idea of your routine?

[Skazm]

Sure, thank you.

He will be 18 months in a week.  Routine is, on days he goes to daycare, Mon, Wed, Fri, up 640, nurse, breakfast, and in school by 815.  He comes home 12 and usually naps at least an hour, sometimes 2 but usually in the middle.  Other days we wake the same time, sometimes 730 latest.  His nap is usually 10-11ish, more often the 11 side, sleeps around the same.   Eating is after.  We're doing  EASY, basically, cuz though I want to potty train him if I don't nurse him the second he wakes he cries/won't sit. 

He sits for meals/snack 5x a day about. 

[Lolly]

It looks to me like you have a prop issue - if you are feeding to sleep for naps and night sleep then he will need it if he wakes in the night. Do you want to stop feeding to sleep?

There will be some crying if you decide to sleep train at this age because you will be changing what he is used to and he won't like it. Hopefully though it won't take too long and he will sleep better for it.

I think you need to change your routine a bit too. At this age most toddlers are having a 13 hour day with a nap of 1.5 - 2 hours. If he is awake at 6.30 then his nap needs to be around midday and then bedtime about 7.30.

What do you think?

Laura

[Skazm]

Thanks so much Lolly.  At night, I go out of room and his father cuddles him to sleep or just lays next to him.  Only naptime, does he nurse to sleep, midday.  Today he didn't sleep til 1.  The thing is, he comes home from daycare and falls asleep in the car (like a 5 min drive).  I shouldn't wake him, right?  But if he does wake on his own (sometimes yes sometimes no) i do end up nursing him back to sleep. Only daytime.  Night time, his father goes in unless he screams tatas at the top of his lungs and refuses to sleep.  Which rarely happens.  I think his nap is usually 12 anyway and I can probably stretch it to 730, but I'm not sure this is a prop issue cuz like I said, husband cuddles him or just lays down next to hm for night time sleep.  Thanks for taking the time to answer me. 

[Skazm]

  Can a prop issue happen just from nap time? Bedtime is usually between  6 - 7.  when he had a later bedtime he woke up more, but that was months ago.

[Lolly]

If you are nursing to sleep for naps and sometimes in the night and then DH is lying with him to get to sleep at night he is not able to get to sleep independantly which is why he needs you in the night. If you want to get him to be able to get to sleep by himself you will need to break the feeding to sleep and wean him off needing someone with him.

Have a look at this link, I think the gradual withdrawal would be a better option for you all Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE).

Laura

[Skazm]

bless you.

[Skazm]

definitely a spirited child.