A battle of wills

[Miamamma]

Hi, I'm hoping you ladies can help with my spirited 18 mo DD. she has never been a big eater and I always seem to be worrying about her diet / eating habits. Up until a few weeks ago she used to sit in her high chair happily for meals (although some days she would hardly eat a thing). Recently she has started refusing to sit in her high chair. I bought her own little table and chair which worked for a few meals but then she refused to sit in this too. Now she just wants to sit on my lap to eat. I eat breakfast and lunch with her. However, now that she wants porridge spoon fed to her, I have to wait till afterwards for my brekkie.
She also tries to dictate what she has to eat for dinner. This started as a 'cute' thing where she would ask to be picked up, fling open the cupboard / fridge door and make a play of choosing something for a snack. Now when I prepare a meal she doesn't fancy she tries to to the same thing. I only offer fruit or yoghurt if she doesn't eat dinner but she seems to be really pushing to get her way with everything at the moment.
Reading this back I can see that perhaps I am being too lenient with her. However, I get so stressed when she doesn't eat, I end up allowing her to eat where she wants. Dinner sometimes ends up being in front of the tv as this seems to distract her out of 'battle mode'.  It seems pointless to force her into a chair, sobbing and screaming....no way she will eat anything then. She seems too young to explain that in order to be fed she needs to do 'xyz' or that if she refuses dinner she cant have toast an hour later. I will buy a booster seat to see if that works but would really appreciate your thoughts on this. Thank you 

[michaeljacknnugg]

Spirited kids do like to keep us on our toes, don't they?

I would probably, for your own sanity, break meals down into mini ones for a few days. So mid morning and afternoon snack are as nutritious as lunch and dinner, and then you don't have to worry if she doesn't eat much at a meal.

With my DS, I don't push it. If he chooses to eat, fine. If not, there is another chance around the corner. A battle of wills only makes things worse.

I do try to keep him involved in food, and make it fun. So, picnics on the lounge floor, lots of cooking and growing stuff together etc.

Maybe your lo is after more independence? A booster seat may help? Or letting her choose when she is ready to go into the high chair?

[Miamamma]

Thanks for your suggestions. I will stick with little and often for a bit, which is what she seems to prefer most of the time anyway. She is definitely an independent little girl and knows what she wants and doesn't want! I find timing meals difficult with her because she seems to go from not hungry (hurling offered food and screeching) to starving (bashing the cupboards and whining) in a moment. I'm hopeful for the booster seat but if that fails I will just have to keep telling myself that she won't want to sit on my lap at mealtimes when she is 14! The irony is that she has just received a kitchen etc for Christmas and enjoys endless role plays, making porridge for and feeding her stuffed monkey, making toast etc.....I might try combining a 'play' mealtime with a real one and see what happens!