Independent sleep

[vanessa c]

My LO is 15 weeks old. Pretty much from about 6 weeks old I have held him to fall asleep. I swaddle him, give him his paci and hold him until he falls asleep, then lay him down. His naps are typically only 30 minutes, which I am trying to extend. Basically, I have started laying him in his crib right before he falls asleep. When he wakes from his naps, I give him his paci and work with him to fall back to sleep...shushing, placing a hand on his chest, ensuring his paci stays in...etc. he spits out his paci a few minutes before falling asleep, once he is calm...if I can't get him to fall back to sleep in his crib, I will hold him but am not ale to out him back down without him waking...I guess my question basically is whether I should be doing this for all naps or start with just one, etc. how soon can I expect to see results? Should I start fading the paci? Basically he has regressed significantly in his nighttime sleep, is not sleeping well during the day which makes for a cranky baby and mommy since I am exhausted...any help would be appreciated.

[anna*]

If he's always waking at 30mins it may well be a routine issue rather than an independent sleep issue - can you post your EASY? On the subject of independent sleep, I would start putting him in his crib once he is calm, don't wait until he is almost asleep. He needs to be able to do that work of getting drowsy and falling asleep all by himself.

That all said, this is pretty much prime age for short nap problems to start, a big part of it is developmental, and it IS something that MOST babies grow out of.

[vanessa c]

This is what yesterday looked like:

WU: 730
E 745
A 815-915
S 930-1015 (attempted to resettle for 20 minutes, was unsuccessful)
A 1035-11
E 11-1120
A 1120-1210
S 1210-1235 (attempted to resettle in crib, began crying held and was able to extend his nap from 1-2)
E 2-220
A 220-420
S 420-450 (attempted to resettle, unsuccessful)
E 500
A 525-615
S 615-640 (attempted to put to sleep, cried the entire time did not fall asleep)
A 640-730
E 730-745
A 745-840 (bedtime routine, bath, lotion, book)
S 840-910
Resettle (910-925)
S 920-1130
E 1130-1150
S 12-245
E 245-300

This is where we are now...he is even waking 2-3 times at night when 2 weeks ago he was sleeping from 9 till anywhere between 4 and 6 in the morning. I feel like I have a newborn all over agin. This sleep coincides with me moving him to his crib. Literally if I put him down before 9 at night, he thinks its a nap and wakes within 30 minutes. If I wait till 9 he will sleep at least 2 hours. In the middle of the night I am able to swaddle and lay him right back down and he puts himself to sleep.

 

[anna*]

I think your baby is just a bit overtired and maybe a slightly shorter A time would help? Bedtime is quite late, would you consider doing bedtime earlier say at 7pm? After a short nap, you need to cut the next A time back shorter.

Also just to repeat what I said before about independent sleep, try to put him down in his crib when he's calm but not drowsy - but yes if he's overtired then he may need more help.

[vanessa c]

Last night I tried putting him down 20 minutes earlier, he woke within 30 minutes and has waken 3 times in the middle of the night so far. If I make his bedtime any earlier like at 7 he will just wake in 30 minutes and I am not ensure if I can resettle that early. I am not sure what it is but it appears hs internal clock does not switch over until 9 to nighttime sleep.

I will try to lay him down calm but not drowsy and see what happens. Do I do this for every nap? Or do I start with one at a time?

[anna*]

All naps and at bedtime too. Wake ups early in the evening are nearly always from over tiredness. If he was waking at 8 or 9am then I wouldn't say this, but a 10.5hr night is a classic sign of overtiredness too. I would really persevere with trying to get longer naps, and an early bedtime. When he wakes after 30 mins at bedtime, what do you do?

[vanessa c]

Last night I held him back to sleep. I have never put him down earlier than 9 before so I have not had to put him back to sleep since he does not wake after 30 minutes if I wait till 9. I wonder if it would be easier to extend his morning till 9?

[anna*]

You could try that, if he wakes at 7 you could try feeding him in the dark like a night feed and putting him back in his crib. He really needs to be getting close to 12 hours at night - most on these boards seem to run their day 7-7 or 8-8 but you could do 9-9 if it suits you better.

[vanessa c]

Ok, maybe I will try that. I feel like I might have more success that way. Today he ended up waking up at 745 so he had an 11 hour night so I am getting there. I have a question about resettling for naps...rarely am I successful with putting him back to sleep without holding him. If I lay him down calm he immediately stirs and will not resettle, if I lay him down asleep, he wakes so I am not sure how to tackle this...should I focus just on him going to sleep on his own then worry about him extending on his own? Or should I try to tackle both?

[anna*]

I would focus on getting him to go to sleep independently at the beginning of naps, and getting the A times right. I'm not sure if I would hold him to sleep for the second half of all his naps, I'm worried that you'll just be creating a prop, you know? Maybe try to resettle him in his crib for the first naps and hold him just for the last nap if you fee like he's getting really overtired?

[vanessa c]

I agree about the holding him. I will try your suggestion and see what happens. This is his second nap today and so far I have gotten him to fall asleep, fairly quickly, both times without holding him! His first nap was only 46 minutes and I tried extending it for 30 minutes but was unsuccessful. Thanks for your help. I will check back n to keep you posted on how things are going.

[vanessa c]

So here is how things have been going...my LO is pretty much falling asleep on his own. I go through our wind down, then when I am holding him as his eyes get heavy, I lay him in his crib. I give him his paci as he sucks on it until he feels calm enough then spits it out and puts himself to sleep. The thing is I can not get naps longer than 30-45 minutes. I tried shh/pat in the crib, he seems to get more worked up. I tried holding him down right before the jolts come, he still wakes and I've tried replugging his paci. The only thing that works is me holding him. Now I tried not holding him and just letting him get up since he is generally happy, even smiling at me when I tried to put him back down, but then as the day goes on he is more tired and fights independent sleep...not sure what to do...

[anna*]

Can you post your EASY for the past couple of days? Great work on the independent sleep!

[vanessa c]

Well sometimes his schedule varies a little, but this is basically what I am doing:

WU between 8-8:30
E 830
A 9-10 or 10:15
S 10:15-10:45 (try to resettle, end up holding until 11:45)
E 12
A 12:30-1:30
S 1:30-2 (try to resettle, usually end up holding till 3:30)
E 3:30
A 4-5
S 5-5:30 (try to resettle, usually end up holding till 6:30)
E 630
A 7-8
E 8
Asleep for the night by 9

The times may vary here and there depending on when he wants to eat but for the most part this is what it is looking like.

[anna*]

Maybe your A time is a wee bit long? It looks like first nap in the morning is after maybe 2hrs 15? Can you cut that back to 2hrs or even a little bit less (it is very common for the first A of the day to need to be a bit shorter than the rest)? Again, I really wouldn't hold though the second half of his nap, even if it means some short naps. By all means do it once a day, but I think you're making a rod for your back if you hold him for all of his naps.