school run / set naps for 11 mo old

[delancepants]

(following on from above)

I should mention that overall he's not happy.  One of the days above he got 13h total sleep in 24h, for the first time in months (for the last two months it's been more like 11 or 12 total each day) and he was happier than I've seen him in ages.  It didn't last all day though, just part of the morning.  Before I started sleep training he was the happiest baby ever.

Also I've notice that around 3h after he wakes in the morning he starts to get tired, rub his eyes and yawn.  If I have him in the sling around this time he starts falling asleep.His mood declines further at this point.

[delancepants]

(following on from above)

Today I had to go out at a very awkward time, so I gave him 4h25 this morning and he slept very soundly for 1h15 until a noise woke him.  Who know how long he would have slept otherwise, but his A is obviously very close to 4h30.

[amayzie]

Hi hon- It can be so tricky at this age! Have you tried offerring the nap a little earlier? More like 11.30 or 12? I just wonder if he's not a bit overtired having the nap that late? The other option is every couple of days adding a second nap- perhaps doing a little nap in the morning- in the car say? this might give him a bit of a catch up opportunity.

[delancepants]

I'm just scared to do it.  I'm scared he'll take a short nap and then I won't know what to do with the rest of the day. 

I'm scared he's going to start waking up at 3.30am for the day again.  When DS1 switched to one nap the day kept slipping earlier so I'm scared of the same thing happening again.

Are you really sure we're at one nap already?  It seems so early.  If you're sure, then I will try what you suggest for a few days.  Tbh things couldn't get much worse than the 2h NWs.

[amayzie]

I'm scared he'll take a short nap and then I won't know what to do with the rest of the day. 

Do you have a car? What i do- on the days where the naps are blown out of the water and i'm facing the afternoon with a tired and grumpy toddler- i pack him and i up into the car and get OUT OF THERE!! My preference is for some retail therapy- even just window shopping- but basically- give it a go and if it doesn't work it's just one day! They are so much more able to handle a messed up nap at 11 months.

We pretty much have a set nap- but it was set at 11am to start and then we just moved it last month to 11.30. This orks for us. I just think the 1.00 nap might be too late without a little AM cat nap. Try it earlier to see if it is longer. If not then try a mini nap in the AM on the next day to see if OT is an issue.

[*Becky*]

I agree with Katy. When we went to one nap it was at 11am for a good while, then 11.30am and now after 3 months of being on one nap it is about 12pm. I personally would avoid being toooo set when you first go to 1 nap and also don't be afraid on occasion to throw in a 15/20 min am nap if you feel things are spiralling.

[delancepants]

Ok thanks guys, I really appreciate it. Ok will try to be brave.  I must try to remember that I've got very little to lose, ha ha!

No, don't have a car.  Getting out in the afternoons is a nightmare as the traffic is so bad here. It's a shame as I used to do that with DS1, any time he was cranky, out for a ride in the buggy or walk in the park, it worked every time.  I guess I could take the kids up to the roof for a while, DS2 is very keen on practising walking at the moment, at least it's a change of scenery for a while.

[amayzie]

Yeah- just a change of scenery! Remember too that the journey is often just as fun as the destination for kids.. and can be a good way to take time! Take a couple of toys, take your time on the stairs! Ride the elevator up and down.. anything to break up the cranky toddler in the same 4 walls!

[delancepants]

Ok cool.  So if I do 4h30A in the morning and he sleeps for 1.5 h at naptime, how long should I give him for afternoon A?

[*Becky*]

to begin with I would go for 4.5 again.

[delancepants]

Ok thanks.

Well, bad news....turns out the maid was really bad, lying to our faces, so we threw her out today, so it has forced the issue somewhat...BUT...good news, DS took a 1h40 nap on his own today!  He seemed happier this afternoon and even though bedtime was delayed due to the madness over the maid, he coped quite well after his good nap.  AND more good news, DH agreed that he will supervise DS's nap tomorrow while I'm out on the school run.  Keep everything crossed for me!!

[*Becky*]

great news about the nap
Good luck for tomorrow x

[delancepants]

Feeling very down now.  It seems like every time I get one thing sorted another problem arrives. 

DS wouldn't extend for DH yesterday.  So we had...

7.00 wake
11.30 - 12.05 nap
wasn't sure what time to put him down so I tried for 2h30 but he played in the cot and did a poo so we ended up with
3.05-3.50 APOPed nap
8.10 bed time.  he surfaced in the night and I was so fast asleep I'm not sure if he was just restless or if he was actually lying there awake and quietly a couple of times during the night (we put the AC on last night for the first time in a few months, so it may have also disturbed him, but we just can't cope without it anymore).  then he woke at 5.00am, I took him straight out and put him on the boob and usually this would keep him asleep or have him back asleep in 10 mins, but no, he stayed awake for another hour through the feed and then I had to walk him back to sleep from 6-7am.

7.30 wake (I thought I'd better try and keep him asleep for a while seeing as he'd had so little sleep overnight)
11.30 - 12.10 nap extended to 12.55
5.40 bedtime. (I was aiming for 5.30 but he didn't take a proper feed and then took longer than normal to fall asleep.  He woke at 6.10 and started crying, wouldn't settle after 10 mins and the crying was escalating, so I took him out and fed him.  He was happy and lay completely still when I put him back in the cot.  I waited 10 mins and he didn't move.  I got up to leave and he started crying, bawling, I couldn't take it so I had to send DH in, which is bad news as DS isn't used to him and takes ages to fall asleep when I'm not there.  He's still crying 45 mins later.

I feel like the nap that DH couldn't extend was a major factor in the disruption in the last two days, and I want to try and avoid going through this again.  Can you help?  I have to do the school run again for at least a week, which means leaving DS with DH to extend the nap.  I don't want to cop out by just opting for 2 naps each day this week, because really it would be great if DH could handle naps without me finally, so that I can actually leave the house (I've been avoiding leaving the house for months now in order not to disrupt naps), so this is the ideal opportunity to make it happen.  I just don't want it to create a complete nightmare for us in the process.  So ideally I want 7.00 wake up and 11.30 nap to see if he'll do that 1h40 nap again or at least extend.  But if he won't extend past 12.15, what time should I fit in a second nap and for how long?

Thanks

[*Becky*]

hugs.....it can be rough to start with for sure. I must admit DD never resettles if she short naps so I won't be much help there but you are right, re settling is key really when they short nap.
How do you resettle? It could be that it will just take a little while for DS to adjust of he is not used to DH doing this. They do def know who is in the room with them and in our case DH has more luck than me....annoyingly!! Do you think he is going through some SA?

As far as the naps go I would def offer another at his age so if he short naps and does about 35 mins which cannot be extended then I would go for another (probably AP) 3 hours later.

What I would say is there is a huge difference in putting him down for bed at 5.40pm and 8.10pm. I think it will be so hard for him to sort out his body clock if BT varies so much. DD goes to bed between 6-7.15pm depending on the day but usually around 6.45pm.

[delancepants]

Yes I've been wondering what's up with that bedtime variation, just assumed it was par for the course during 2-1...

So 7 wake
11.30 -12.15 nap
3.15-4 nap
8 bedtime?

But what about the variation in bedtime?

Yes, SAin full effect here.  He will extend with DH in time, but what to do in the meantime...