10 month old wakes every hour and a half

[Clemmly]

Hi my little family is so desperate for sleep any advice would be so much appreciated.

My lo is ten months old.
At five months I became so exhausted I put her into bed with me, it was also an attempt to keep her quiet so my husband could get a good nights rest for his hectic schedule. At nine months lo was kicking in the night and snacking so much no one was getting any sleep.

We then began to try everything cc, pick up put down etc.
All very unsuccessful. I then bought Tracy's book and we headed off to a great start. I camped out and hugged her through the bars of her cot until she felt comfortable in it and she now has no dramas being laid down in it to go to sleep. When she wakes she yells old to let me know, but doesn't cry.

Lo is dressed warmly so she is comfortable, she isn't hungry she understands as much as a ten month old can that she can't have milk until the birds start singing.

When we started Tracy's method she slept more and more every night for a week. She managed five hours on the last night, the most she has ever done. Then she began getting up every hour and a half.

Our easy goes up at five feed
7.20 breakfast
8.30 sleep
10.00 wake feed and snack
11.30 lunch
1.00 sleep
2.30 feed
3.00 snack
5.30 dinner
6.30 milk
7.00 bed

9.00 milk if she wakes starving.
Then up every hour and a half until five

She can't yet fall asleep on her own without me by the cot and it is killing me

Out of desperation we are off to the doctors to get help and book into the sleep school. I was hoping that she would sleep through the night before now, but I'm getting sick, my husband will loose his job if this continues and lo is so over tired constantly.

I'm devastated because my family and friends were supportive in the being months, but now I feel that they think I have poor parenting skills. I worked in childcare for years and now I'm a primary school teacher and I always wanted to be a mother. Having a child that hardly sleeps is very very depressing.

[Clemmly]

From reading the other posts I'm going to cut lo first nap down to 45 mins and then do 4 hrs of activity. Hopefully this does the trick fingers crossed!

[becj86]

Hi, sorry you're having such a rough time of it

How long have you been staying by her cot while she goes to sleep? Have you started the next step of gradual withdrawal by moving away from the cot?

I think routine wise, you might need to bring your wakeup later or bedtime earlier. Bedtime earlier is easy, just do it... She's awake for a very long time before bed after her last nap. Wakeup later can take time and the first thing you do is push the morning nap later.

When you say dressed warmly, you're in Brisbane... How warmly? Could she be hot?

[Clemmly]

Oh thank you so so much for offering help, I am so so grateful.

Lo has been sleeping in her cot for two months, I have tried to get her to go to sleep without me but it is very unsuccessful, it turns into controlled crying. She screams and screams, I have told her ill be back and return after a minute but she is definitely not lying down during this time. I'm not sure how to get this started. Do I have been staying with her until she falls asleep. I'll try and slowly move back, I could try sitting next to her but not touching tonight.

She refuses to keep a blanket over her, Steven though it is summer I have been dressing her in a long shirt and pants. Ill try a T-shirt tonight.

I'll try putting her to bed a six tonight.

I tried a shorter nap this morning I woke her up after 45 mins, I thought she might have a longer second nap, but she woke up after 45 mins for this one too.

Thank you I can tell you how much any advice is valued, it is sometimes very lonely being a mum xx claire

[becj86]

Walk in walk out is not ideal for a baby who is this young or one who's never been an independent sleeper. It's best to stick with gradual withdrawal. Which of Tracy's books do you have?

Have you seen this link? Regaining Trust of Your Child it is aimed at a younger child but its the kind of gradual process to go through and it can take a while. I think moving back so you're still there but not touching is a good next step.

Are you dealing with any separation anxiety at the moment? It tends to be quite severe around 9-10 months and could be hindering this process a little.

[Clemmly]

Hi thank you thank you thank you!
Last for the first time ever lo slept six hours in a row.

She had two naps of 45 mins yesterday, one at 9 and one at 2.30
She finally fell asleep at 6.20
Woke 8.30 hungry I fed her because she was falling asleep at 5.45 when I tried to feed her. I'll get this happening a bit faster tonight.
Slept to 2.30 am woo hoo!
Woke 3.30, 3.45, 5.00, 5.20
Fed her at 5.20
Slept until 7 next to me because I fell asleep.

9.30 am asleep again, a bit early but she had been rubbing her eyes for an hour.

She definitely has separation anxiety, if I am out of her sight she panics. Thank you for the links, I'll read them next. I have two of Tracy's books, one for toddlers and the secrets of a baby whisperer.

[becj86]

Here's a link on SA. Tips for seperation anxiety

Yay for a nice stretch! Hopefully once you get the routine ironed out, you will see further improvement.

[Clemmly]

Hi, we are getting there!
Lo now has three three hour activities separated by naps. She goes to bed at 6 and wakes twice between 7.30 to 10.30 and then wakes at 11 pm for a feed.
We then do really well, until 4 or 4.30 and then she is quite hard to settle, sometimes it takes an hour and I have to feed her again. Then she sleeps until six thirty. Then I feed her again and she plays on her own while I sleep for an hour.

She can almost fall asleep on her own, she does roll over and check I'm still there after a minute. This is so much better than all the patting we were doing.

Are we slowly just going to see more progress, or should I be working on something else?

[Erin M]

Sounds like good progress!  Can you post your current routine just to see if anything needs to be tweaked?

[Clemmly]

Oh thank you so much for your help.

9.30 sleep
10.30 wake

1.00 sleep
2.30 wake

6.00 sleep
7.30 wake and settled quickly
9.30 wake and settled with a feed
11.00 wake and feed

4.30 wake hard to settle can take an hour I do feed her
5.30 wake feed in bed and sleeps with me
6.30 wake and play on her own
7.30 breakfast.

Its better, but still exhausting. I've just had mastitis and I now only have half the milk supply I had before.

[Clemmly]

  we just had such an awful night. Lo woke 8 times until five when I gave up.

[Erin M]

OK, I think what is happening is that you're headed into the 2-1, when LOs drop down to 1 nap -- you can have a read of this which has lots more info on that: 10/ 11mo sleep gone wonky? Read this first!

I think you still need some more A time do you get at least one longer nap -- you're probably going to have one longer one and one shorter one -- but I would think that if you get one longer nap, you'll get some better sleep.  8 wakings is a lot -- have you got anything else going on -- discomfort maybe due to teeth, developmental stuff, illness? 

She does sounds like she's doing a better job settling independently, am I right about that?

[Clemmly]

You are so wonderful to take the time out of your busy mummy life to help me thank you so much.

Yes your right she is self settling a lot better this is such a tricky thing to get sorted and unfortunately it affects our whole families life.
Lo is using me as a prop I forgot to not feed her right before bed. Se is also just starting to have tantrums when she doesn't get her way, nothing major but I'm sure that is a developmental leap. I will try and extend her morning by half an hour and see if that helps. She goes down at one so easily, I don't want to change it.
Thank you for your help!

[Erin M]

unfortunately it affects our whole families life.

That is so true.  When you're not sleeping well at night, it just makes everything harder. 

I will try and extend her morning by half an hour and see if that helps. She goes down at one so easily, I don't want to change it.

I can understand that, but sometimes if you extend it a little bit she'll still go down ok and sleep for even longer.  And definitely don't do the whole half hour at once -- I'd go by no more than 15 minutes every 3-4 days, maybe even less (like 10 minutes every 3-4 days) if it seems to bother her.  If she starts getting really hard to settle or starts taking 30 minute naps, it's a sign that you've done too much too quickly.

[Clemmly]

Hi thank you for your help, your knowledge is invaluable.
LO is now having an activity time of 4 hours in the morning. after this she sleeps 2 hours or more. Which I think is great because it is moving toward having a midday nap. She is playing in her cot on her own as a wind down. Such fantastic progress compared to where we were a month ago. This is her scedule.

Awake 5.30
Sleep 9.45
Wake 12
Sleep 3.15
Wake 4
Sleep 7
Wake 7.30 and resettled
Wake 8.00 and resettled
Wake 8.30 and resettled
Wake 9.00 and resettled
wake 10.30 and resettled
Wake 12.40
wake 1.30
wake 2.30
wake 3.30
wake 3.45
wake 4.00
Wake 4.30
Up for the day at 5.
Breast feed at 5.30

I think nothing I'm doing is working and I cant cope anymore. Thank you for your help, but I think I need to take a different approach.