Please Help! 21 month old - Amazing sleeper is now regressing to NW every hour

[Agnes00]

Wow! you really know your stuff! I suggest you become a sleep expert and open your own business  People will pay serious bucks for this kind of support! On a serious note, I do appreciate all the time you are taking to helping me out... It's really is my sanity especially after a long sleepless nights.

EASY

7-Wake + 8oz bottle of Milk
7:15 - Get ready for the day (wash, dress)
7:30 - Breakfast
12- Nap
1:30- Wake
5:30 - Dinner
7- Night time routine
7:30 - 8pm - Sleep

+ 1 snack in AM and 1 snack in the PM

Lately, we've been putting DD down early (NT routine starts at 630 in bed by 730pm) just because of the disrupted sleep and we've also noticed at daycare that DD sleeps sometimes 1 hour for her nap or sometimes 2.5 hours... (I will let them know to keep it to a 2hr max) Usually she is consistent with sleeping 1.5 hours but lately the nap times have been fluctuating.  Usually her days are the same... During the week she goes to daycare from 9 - 4pm comes home and spends time with us ... the weekends we do family stuff.

Teething - Yes, she is teething... She is sucking her fingers, has rosy/rash on her cheeks and pulls her ears.  We tried Tylenol for about 4 days but it seemed as though it didn't work as she would still be restless at NW... I will try ibuprofen and Tylenol alternation as you suggested.

The Cast - No Physio... Her surgeon said that since children are so resilient they do not require any physio that they will just push themselves enough and recover in their own time... Not like adults who don't push themselves enough or push themselves too much... Its been 5 weeks since her cast is off and she just stating to walk again!!! I think that's also a big deal for her and could contribute to the NW.  I will look into the osteopathy... never heard of it but I will give it a try

NW- last night was better! She woke at 1030pm and then again at 1130pm and both times she settled quite easily.. we still had to sit with her (hand on back) for about 10mins but its an improvement... I'm not jumping up for joy since the last couple weeks its been like a roller coaster with her NW... some good nights and some really bad nights.  But we are definitely getting better ... I will definitely try W2S... I do give the NB a feed around 1030pm and will go in to DD a gentle pat on the back/reassure her that we are there... fingers crossed! 

PD's - Lamb is DD lovely but he is always in her bed... she doesn't have lamb with her during the day only in bed... Sometimes, when I put her in bed I give her lamb and she is in such a panic that she throws him away... I wonder sometimes if indeed she is that attached to him... other times she does grab lamb for comfort and hug him, kiss him and dozes off.

Key phrase I use every night is "its time for sleep... Mamma and Daddy are here for you just outside the door but lamb is here in bed with you... we love you very much... its time for sleep."  I say this consistently but I have to confirm if my DH is consistent...

I don't think she is afraid of her bed.. She does play in her room (not often since we are usually in the family room) but when she does play in her room she has fun... reading books etc.  When DD was little 6-10 months I used to put her in her crib while I was doing laundry but haven't in a long time.

At the NW she starts off crying for either myself or DH if we do not respond she starts screaming/whaling until we come in.  We have a video monitor and if she is just mantra crying we don't go in but once we see that she starts getting up in her crib we know she is up and we go to her.  When we do go in we PU, give her lamb and on a good night she will settle quite quickly... on a bad night she will scream to be picked up so we do PU/PD - when we PU its only for about 10-30 seconds until she settles and then we PD.  We continue until she settles.

GW- I think I'm doing it wrong too... I try to GW ... holding hand... hand on back ... finger on back ... less and less pressure but what happens when I release the pressure and she is still not sleeping she freaks out and tries to find my hand to hold it... it just seems that she won't let me GW... I will try your steps below to see if anything changes.

Don't ever be sorry for asking me questions... I really APPRECIATE you taking the time to help out our family... it means so much! I know things will get better but our whole family has been through so much in the last six months that I can't wait for some normalcy.  When we have the difficult nights DH and I bicker at each other as we are just so exhausted... he has a stressful job too so this just adds to the stress.  Can't wait till everything works itself out... lol... hopefully I don't have any issues with the NB... lol!

Talk soon and HUGS!



 

 

[creations]

((hugs)) It must be such a strain, you have so much to deal with.  You really will get through.  When you look at the bigger picture these toddler years (and NB months) are such a short time in the scheme of things, really hard at the time but suddenly in the past and a distant memory.  Keep telling yourself it will pass, this won't be for ever.

I'm not a sleep expert, just been hanging around BW forums for a while (I used to mod when I had more time), you pick up quite a lot here.  before you know it you'll be the 'expert' on getting back on track after having a cast and you'll be paying it forward helping out other worried and sleep deprived mummies

WRT the cast and physio.  Honestly I'm surprised.  I have no experience of these casts at all but I really would have thought that there would have been some regular checks and playful exercises (physio wise) at minimum.  Beginning to walk again will likely disturb her sleep, it's the whole development leap all over again.  I'm sure you are all very excited about her walking and I wouldn't discourage it, but I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to encourage it either.  Crawling is a fabulous exercise for toddlers.  It helps to build core strength, coordination and balance, and helps with SO many aspects of their development (even effecting drawing and writing development later), so I would encourage lots of floor play, crawling through tubes, or make tunnels with a blanket thrown over dining chairs, a large table cloth or sheet over the dining table to make a den to crawl into, crawling up and down the 'mountain' made with a big bean bag or duvet and pillows bundled up on the floor, making an uneven bouncy surface with the sofa cushions pulled onto the floor to crawl and roll around on.  Rough housing/pretend wrestling and physical play with parents is also fantastic for muscle development and as an added bonus builds the bond between parent and LO and even increases their confidence, self esteem and courage to be independent too.
If you look into the osteopathy obviously do your homework on their training, experience and qualifications etc before making an appointment.

OK, will have to go now.  I'm really short on time just now but I'll be back.  Bare with me.  My LO is dropping his nap so I get less time in the day for BWing and for some reason keep having a terrible internet connection in the evening! Grr!
Stay strong xx

[Agnes00]

I know... In the long scheme of things this is noting and we will get through it! Day by day

Great advice! She is still not 100% with walking but she is stronger and I will take your advice on the house play.. I guess its a lot better than when we take her to the indoor play gym which has similar obstacle courses but it seems that every time we go there DD gets sick with a cold... all the germs! 

Hugs and take care for now!

[creations]

Hi again.

Just looking over your EASY.  I wonder if she might do a little better with a slightly later nap.  You say she used to be consistent in 1.5hr nap but now inconsistent between 1 and 2.5hr.  This might be due to changed sleep needs, so she takes a shorter nap and appears ok for a few days and then does a longer nap as a sort of catch up.  What do you think?  I don't know her mood on waking or for the rest of the day which would make a difference, perhaps you've noticed a difference how she is after a short or longer nap or maybe day care have reported back?
Moving her nap to 12.30 or even 1pm might help (not all in one jump, maybe 12.15 to start with).  It would make her morning a little longer (encouraging a better nap) and the afternoon a little shorter.  It *might* effect her PD at BT.  It could also help with those NWs.  BT needn't necessarily move later although as you've recently started WD earlier you might need to return to the previous 8pm BT iyswim.
(at 21months my LO moved nap quite rapidly from 12.00 up to 1.00 then 1.30pm and then at 22months up to 2pm.  This isn't necessarily the case for all LOs but shows you an example that moving the nap could be on the cards.  BT had already move from 7pm to 8pm due to UT BT refusals and taking a long time to PD and settle - needing much help and encouragement to go to sleep).

Those indoor play gyms, I think those are what I call soft play.  My boy LOVES going there, and gets so much exercise but every single time he is so massively OS that his nap is ruined that day, night is ruined and even the next day he is not himself, taking maybe 2 days to get back to his normal routine!  Quite a disturbance (and like you say, always ends up with a cold so sleep is then even more disturbed!).  I have to limit how often we go and be very careful about ensuring we go when he has had some great days sleep and fully rested, and when we have no other plans for the rest of the week so he can catch up!
On the other hand I know a little boy, same age, goes the soft play every week and never OS or OT from it, he is so accustomed to the level of stimulation, the level of noise etc and he doesn't play much, just hangs out with his mum.

See what you think about shifting the nap a little later, and keep on with the GW steps, each step is small but always a forward movement with them.
xx

[Agnes00]

Woooohoooo! DD has slept through the night!!! First time in I can't even remember how long! DH and I were so surprised but, I guess all the advice you given me has worked!! Thank you!  I just hope it's not a fluke and tonight will be the same... We will stay consistent.  NB did keep me up a little with his grunting but I don't even care about that... As long as I can get DD back on track everything else will work itself out.

It's funny you talk about moving up her nap... Daycare advised me yesterday that she went down at 1215 and slept till 215 - I had DD in bed by 8pm regular BT routine and she woke up at 7am!!!

Fingers crossed this will continue!

Thank you again!!

[creations]

YaY!!!
Wonderful news!  I'm so happy for you 

Now, it's worth keeping in mind that she might settle into this nap at 12.15 and then need another increase.  Sometimes if they've been taking an UT nap an extra 15 min can work for a few days (or longer) but then the nap starts to shorten again and needs another 15 mins push.

I hope you enjoy your slightly less disturbed nights, let us know how it goes 

[Agnes00]

Hi Creations!

Well good news! DD is sleeping through the night! A lot of time and sleepless nights but after everything she has been through ... moving, sickness, operation, NB... it took her 5.5 weeks to get back on track.  It still takes us a bit of time to put her down at night about 20-30mins (she will not let us leave the room until she is asleep) but NO MORE NW's!

Thank you again for all you support over the last 5 weeks... I couldn't of done it without you!

Hugs!

[creations]

So happy to hear the wonderful news!

5.5 weeks feels like a loooong time when you are in the thick of it, but really it's not that long is it in the scheme of things.  I'm sure you're still up in the night with the NB but must be nice to know DD has settled and feeling better, more relaxed, more confident.  What a relief for you all

WRT still needing you in the room to go to sleep. I would go for a GW on that, small steps but always moving forward like I described before. So if you are still having your hand on her whilst she falls to sleep reduce the pressure, then couple of nights later fall to sleep without touch...use your key phrase, each night go through the previous steps relatively quickly but ensuring she is staying relaxed.  You really ought to be able to get out of the room within the next couple of weeks if you keep moving forward in small steps.  Obviously though it's up to you to start this or just continue to stay with her for the 30 mins because it's more peaceful and predictable for the time being.

Hope all is well with the NB too.