Please tell me this is just a phase!!!

[SusieQue]

Our DS has just hit the dreaded 18month mark so I'm hoping this is all just developmental, but am looking for reassurance!  The last few nights he's been waking up inconsolable until I or DH go in there and lay a hand on his back.  He still takes up to an hour to get back to sleep this way, as we go out thinking he's asleep then he starts up again, then tries to play - it's become a bit of a farce!  The last two nights as well we have put him down at BT and he's started crying (something he never does as he's a very good night time sleeper) until DH goes in and lays a hand on his back.  At BT it usually takes a few minutes for him to fall asleep and then DH leaves the room.  The last week or two as well he's been getting uncontrollable rage fits when he doesn't get his own way (on which we never give in), and the cry he gives when he wakes up in the night sounds a lot like his temper one ('why haven't you come in yet!!').  We try to leave him at night but he ends up getting worked up, but i'm conscious I don't want to start a habit as he's usually a very independent sleeper - so independent in fact that I think that's why we find it hard to help him back to sleep on the NWs.  I'm pretty sure he is now getting OT as well, as we try to stick to set naps at 12.15, but the last few mornings he has woken at 5.30, down at 12 then slept for 1.5 hours.  We put him to bed at 6.30.  Here is our last few days EASY:

yesterday
WU 6.30 (after 2 hour NW from 1.30-3.30 - DH had to sleep on the floor in his room in the end)
Nap 12-1.45
BT 6.30 - DH had to go in after 15 minutes as he was crying
Woke at 9.30pm, crying his "temper" cry - left it 10 minutes then he started getting upset so DH had to go in.  Finally fell asleep at 10.45

This morning
Awake 5.30 - got him up at 6
Nap 12 - still asleep

He's done the NW thing a couple of times in the last week.  He's been teething pretty much for a year and it has never interrupted his sleep before so not sure if that is it.  Does it sound like something we just have to ride out?  I'm worried about creating a prop by going in his room but I don't want to leave him crying.  Would you recommend sticking to the set naps?  Sorry for all the questions but it seems like he's turned into a different baby overnight and I'm panicking!

Hope you can help x

[anna*]

There's a whole support thread about the 18 month sleep regression so you are in good company! One year molars and canines are really bad for teething - my daughter has been a super-easy teether but these ones are giving her a lot of trouble. Personally I would stick to pretty much set naps but my little one handles OT pretty well and doesn't get crabby - in the end, you are the one who has to live with him! If he is obviously desperately tired, what else can you do you have to put them down to nap, yk?

[HenaV]

Hi!

Just thought I'd chip in. My DD did exactly the same at 18m a I think looking back a combination if teeth and 18m SR - it was hellish with up to 2h NW following the same pattern as your LO. Because she has never been needy at night unless unwell inresllybthought something was wrong so stayed with herbyonabiudvthe hysterical melt down - bad move!! She then started kicking off when I left after putting her down at BT (unheard of) so u figured that I had inadvertently AP!! Dp his is what I did:

1. WI/WO to deal with the upset at leaving at BT and having to
Stand over her at silly o'clock. This didn't take long to fix - I think because she's always slept independently.

2. Long naps (2.5h) and EBT (6.30) to deal with OT in the hope of catching her up and getting hack on track. I totally see the virtue of sticking with the set nap
(We usually have a set nap and stick with it come he or high water) but my DD does not handle OT well so I knew unless I fixed that, nothing else would

After 3days of 2.5h naps I cut back to her usual 2.15h naps keeping BT at 6.30 and then 3day later stated to push BT out by 15m every 3days until we were back to 7pm BT.

Re: the nap, I would put her down earlier rather than than let her sleep later in the day so 12.30 set nap became 12noon for 2.5h if that makes sense.

It's not for everyone I'm sure but after exhausting do many options it did work for us.

Keeping everything crossed for you. Hope that this phase passes soon

Hx

[SusieQue]

Thanks so much for your replies! I noticed a new tooth had appeared this morning so am thinking it might have been that. He slept well last night so am hoping it's going to pass! I think you're right about the set naps so will stick with them! Thanks again for your advice x

[HenaV]

That's great news, long may it continue x

[SusieQue]

Thanks Anna and Hena V - fingers crossed he has been okay the past couple of nights and slept through without any problems.  I'm just wondering if he needs a routine tweak though as we are putting him down at 7 and he is still waking up around 5.45am.  Do you think his nap needs to be pushed later?  Here is our usual EASY

WU 5.45
Nap 12.20-2.20 (I wake at this time if not awake already - generally has 1.5 to 2 hours)
BT 7pm

Does anything jump out to you?  I don't like to put him down any later than 7 when he is up so early, and I would have thought over 6 hours A time in the morning would be plenty, but maybe not!

[HenaV]

Hi!

It 10h 45m night which technically isn't EW that WU time would irk me? You or nap time and lenght of nap don't look problematic to me. The only thing I would query ( and this of ourselves based on my own DD) is whether 6h A to bed is too long? Perhaps your LO is a tad OT? The reality is they are all so different re: what they can handle - what do you think?

H

[SusieQue]

Thanks Hena, I did wonder that but we've been sticking to this A time for about a month now so I was assuming he was used to the time now.  When we first moved to set naps at this time he started waking up at 6.30ish (somtimes 7!), and because that's the time they put them down at nursery (where he goes once a week) I thought it would be best to give him some consistency.  Maybe just an earlier BT would be better, although today he slept for 2 hours and woke at 2.20, so 6.30 just seems a bit too early to me.  Maybe I can try tomorrow (and FX we don't get a 5am WU!).  Thanks for your reply x

[HenaV]

No worries and good luck x