Tearing my hair out!

[IndigoJaguar]

I have a almost 15 week old baby who never naps more than thirty minutes. My A time has almost always been 1 hr and 30 min. but sometimes it is longer and sometimes shorter. Our schedule is all screwed up. She will go down for a nap peacefully most times, but you can count on her waking at the thirty minute mark almost always. Then when I try and make her go back to sleep she can scream for up to an hour. If, after that time she falls asleep, she will stay asleep a long time sometimes. I am at my wits end. I'm so tired of trying to make her nap longer than thirty minutes. What is wrong here?!!!

[IndigoJaguar]

I forgot to say she was sleeping great at night 9-4:30 with df. Last three nights tho, she has been getting up at 2-2:30 and eating and then up again at 5:30-6. GS maybe? How long should it last? Will she get in a habit of getting up?

[Ima shel Alon]

It could be the 4m GS, which is a huge one. But even if not it's normal for a baby who used to have 1 NW to suddenly have another one and even two more, especially if he is BF. From my experience a GS feed doesn't become a habit.

For most babies 30min naps would be OT, but considering her short A and the fact it's hard to settle her back to sleep I actually think she is UT. How does she wake up from a 30min nap? Is she happy and content or crying like she didn't want to wake up?
Usually at her age the A time looks more like 1:45-2h long and it could be that she is ready for more A now. The best way to increase it is gradually in order to prevent OT, so by 10-15min every 3-4 days (that's how long it takes LOs to get used to new A).
Saying that, at this age short naps can still be developmental and one of the ways to help her sleep through the sleep cycles is HTTJ. You can read about it here: How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
HTH .

[IndigoJaguar]

Yea. I wondered about the four month growth spurt. I was just hoping that she won't continue to get up in the middle of the night forever.  I'm trying to feed her more often if I think she needs it, especially in the day. Last night she was crazy, tho. She got up at 2:30 and ate, and then again at 4:30 and wouldn't settle with sh/pat, so I fed her again and then she stayed up 1 1/2 hours talking and squealing in her bed!!!
I have been trying to increase A time from what I was reading on here. Just wasn't sure how long she should go for her age, so that is good to know. It seems like that I don't just increase it in small increments tho. I try to watch her sleep cues and also how well she goes to sleep. Going by both of those, we have sort of jumped a good half hour all at once. The last few days she has been increasingly hard to settle to sleep. She was just going in her bed and going to sleep most of the time, but then I thought she was extra hungry because she kept waking up and it was always at the two hour mark after she ate, so I switched her schedule around and fed her, then did sleep time, but didn't feed her to sleep. Now she is fussy at nap time and if I give her more to eat, and then lay her down, she will go to sleep great. Have I created a habit there?
Here is our days schedule so far:
Up at 2:30 and 4:30 eating. Stayed up in her bed at 4:30-6:00 or 6:30. I was exhausted so I let her sleep longer than I should have.
E-9:10
A- Ended up being 2 hours and 20 minutes because she wouldn't settle until I fed her again
E- 11:30
S-11:35
We shall see how long she sleeps. Yesterday her best nap was after being up 2 hours and 35 minutes, but she also had a twenty minute nap about an hour before going down because we were taking a walk and she fell asleep.

[IndigoJaguar]

So this nap she slept 25 minutes and jolted awake. I was beside her watching to see at what point she woke. She is now talking and cooing to herself...and this after a 2 hour 20 minute A time.
Usually tho, she wakes up and is pretty fussy in her bed.

[IndigoJaguar]

Talked in bed twenty minutes, then fussed while I sh/patted for 20 minutes. Back asleep at 12:45.
If I am doing two hour A times, how do I get the eating to work right? She doesn't seem to be able to go four hours very often. So with a 2 hr A time, that only leaves an hour for her nap before she needs to eat again. She is really eating often right now. I hate to wake her up if she goes down and sleeps longer than an hour. Like right now. She ate at 9:10 and then had 2 ounces at 11:30. If I were counting 4 hours from 9:10 because that was her last full feed, she would eat again at 1:10. But....she just went back to sleep at 12:45  So should I be waking her? It really throws off the routine when she wakes and then takes a good 20 minutes to go back to sleep.

[IndigoJaguar]

Also, should I be putting her in bed 10 minutes before she should be asleep? Or waiting until her sleep time to put her in bed?

[Ima shel Alon]

It seems like that I don't just increase it in small increments tho. I try to watch her sleep cues and also how well she goes to sleep. Going by both of those, we have sort of jumped a good half hour all at once. The last few days she has been increasingly hard to settle to sleep. She was just going in her bed and going to sleep most of the time, but then I thought she was extra hungry because she kept waking up and it was always at the two hour mark after she ate, so I switched her schedule around and fed her, then did sleep time, but didn't feed her to sleep. Now she is fussy at nap time and if I give her more to eat, and then lay her down, she will go to sleep great. Have I created a habit there?

When you increase A time (and whenever in the future you'll tweak routine) you need to ignore sleepy cues (unless baby becomes very very upset, but it doesn't usually happen because we do it gradually). If you jump by 30min your baby will be ok for the first 3-4 days but then she will accumulate OT and you'll have a lot more problems to deal with than you have now.
Re the feeding, I am not sure. It does sound like there is a bit of a prop there, but if you are happy with it then you don't HAVE to change it. Even if you have a short A after feeding, even just a nappy change, then you'll be fine.

So should I be waking her? It really throws off the routine when she wakes and then takes a good 20 minutes to go back to sleep.

I would never wake a sleeping baby unless it's been more than 2.5h nap at this age, and 2h naps later on when they are older. It sounds like you don't have much choice now but to feed short before sleep. Many mommies are doing it like this at this age, because As are stretching but feeding not yet. It should all fall into place soon when she is a bit older.

Also, should I be putting her in bed 10 minutes before she should be asleep? Or waiting until her sleep time to put her in bed?

This depends on how long it takes her to fall asleep and what is your WD. If you have a WD routine and you know it takes so long then you do it before the time she is supposed to be in bed, and the time you put her in bed has to do with how long it takes her to fall asleep or perhaps she just falls asleep immediately.

[IndigoJaguar]

When you increase A time (and whenever in the future you'll tweak routine) you need to ignore sleepy cues (unless baby becomes very very upset, but it doesn't usually happen because we do it gradually). If you jump by 30min your baby will be ok for the first 3-4 days but then she will accumulate OT and you'll have a lot more problems to deal with than you have now.

Our problem isn't keeping her up past sleepy cues, It's that her sleepy cues are SO much later than when I have been putting her in bed. She doesn't act tired or even be willing to sleep until about two hours A usually. If I put her down before then, she sometimes just lays in bed and talks and coos. Last night at around two and a half three hours after getting up she was laying in her bed talking up a storm. 
Other times, and this is more often, she will fuss when being put to bed. Before she just went to sleep right away. Now I need to settle her most times for 5-10 minutes.
We have only been doing EASY for about three weeks. We started about the same time we started to put her in her bed to sleep. Before that she was held for every nap. We rocked and jiggled her to sleep, then held her most of the time. I would put her down in the day, but she never slept very long. She did sleep great at night, tho. Of course we weren't putting her to bed until about 10:30 or 11:00, but we weren't getting up early either. She would go from 10:30 to 5:30 am, and then again until 8:00-8:30 and I would put her in bed with me to nurse sometimes for up to four hours. She would just latch on and stay there even when she wasn't eating. 
I'm beginning to wonder if the pacifier is a prop, tho. She will stay asleep even if it falls out...if she is in a deep sleep, but when she is going to sleep or in a light sleep...(like waking up at 30 min) she can't sleep without it. And she knocks it out repeatedly with her hands, or spits it out and I have to replug it. I don't think I put it in much in the night, but we co-sleep, so there is a chance I am doing it without really waking to know how much I do.

[IndigoJaguar]

So yesterday was a really good day. I started out the day at 1 hour and 40 minutes A time, but decreased it to 1 hour and 25 minutes A time. She did so much better on that. She is still waking at 30 minutes, but I am settling her and getting another hour/hour and a half nap time. I am still bothered that she wakes at 30 minutes, but I'm not sure what is going on? Any more ideas? How should I proceed with increasing her A time? Since this is really low for a four month old, I assume I should be working her up? It seemed like when I put her down at 1 hour and 40 minutes, she was super fussy and hard to put down and it took her a good ten or twenty minutes to go to sleep. When I put her down at 1 hour and 25-35 minutes, she is calm and falls asleep nicely. Should I keep the 1 hour 35 minute A time for a few days, even though she is waking at 30 minutes, just because she is so easy to get down and resettle?
She is still doing the waking at 4 or 5 am, but I assume that is normal for this age? She df at 9:30 or 10:30 and then goes to 4 or 5.
She is just starting in the last day to want to go 3.5 to 4 hours between feedings, so I'm hoping that she keeps that up. I am terrible at knowing what cries are what. I usually just have to go by the clock or how fussy she is because I don't know her hunger cry. 
Here is yesterday's routine:
WU:7
E-8
A- 1 hr. 15 min. Very sleepy and ready to go down.
S- 8:15-10:40 I slept also, so settled her with paci when she stirred.
E-11
A- 1 hr. 40 min.
S- 12:15 Went to sleep good this time, woke up at 11:55 and took till 12:25 to resettle. Slept til 1:45, got up, slept in arms til 2:10
E-2:30 Fed poorly
A- 1 hr. 25 min. P/d took ten minutes to fall asleep
S- 3:45-4:20 resettle for 20 minutes 4:40-5:30
E-6
A- 2 hr. 10-15 minutes. Went for a walk and ran over on time. She had a short 20 minute nap in there while walking.
S- Tried to put down at 7:40; fussed and screamed. Fed at 8 to make sure she wasn't hungry. Fussed until falling asleep at 9:20.
DF at 10:30
Asleep till 4 am.

[Ima shel Alon]

IIWY I would be still working on upping the A, perhaps stick to the 1:40h A for now and in a little while up it again if naps are not good yet.
It sounds that she just needs help going through the sleep cycles, because you manage to settle her after 30min to sleep an hour more - that's great actually. I can imagine that HTTJ can work for, you can read about it more here: How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
This is very normal at her age, I think I mentioned it before, that short naps can be developmental at this age and that LO still needs help with sleep cycles.
Your night looks great for her age, I wish we had a night like that when DS was 4m old! One would expect a BF baby to have a DF and another feed (and another one actually) at this age.

[IndigoJaguar]

I've tried the waking her during her nap several times, but it doesn't seem to help. How many times do I need to try it to know if it worked?
Wow. I am so happy to know that she is above average for night wakings. At what age should she stop doing one night waking even?

[Ima shel Alon]

I didn't mean you to do W2S (that's the waking), but HTTJ - hold through the jolts, which you are already doing in a way, but if you'll be there to hold her through the stirring then she might not fully wake and need to be settled.
NW and NF are very different from baby to baby. I guess most babies stop waking at night at around 6m, but some manage before that to STTN and some need more time than that. Oh yes, and the fact that a baby starts STTN doesn't mean there won't be broken nights anymore due to teething, SA, routine issues... .

[IndigoJaguar]

Ok. So I tried HTTJ today. It seemed to work really well. I held her at 29 minutes and at 33, and then 5 min. longer to make sure. 
Yesterday she slept at my sisters for an hour and fifteen minutes without waking and the only differences about that nap where that her A time was 2 hours and 5 minutes (Due to going away) and that she slept on her back instead of her side. Any thoughts on that? I wonder if sleeping on her back would help.
I'm really appreciating the suggestions on here and things I'm learning!  I hope to get it down pat soon and get some really good naps.

[Ima shel Alon]

Ok. So I tried HTTJ today. It seemed to work really well. I held her at 29 minutes and at 33, and then 5 min. longer to make sure.

That's awesome!

I wonder if sleeping on her back would help.

Everything is worth a try .