Help to Fix EWU - 20 Month Old

[Mattsmummy]

Hi folks,

I've also posted this in the Gro-Clock/Lights on a timer sticky but thought I would get more eyes here...

My DS is 20 months old. He is a chronic EW.  He has a set nap time of 1230 (at nursery) and a set BT of 7pm.  We moved to set times to hopefully help with the EW and to some extent they have.

He wakes nearly every morning between 5:15 and 5:40am...He will whine/moan for a few minutes and then start to cry if we don't go get him up.

He will most nights STTN unless sick/teething or very OT.

I have the timer and am thinking of setting it initially for 5:45am...and just letting him carry on until that time unless he is really crying hard for us.  Does that seem right?
What on earth do I do if he wakes at 5am? Do I leave him until 545am??? What if he starts really crying? Can I go in and lay on the floor beside his crib to help calm him down until the lights come on?

Also, he regularily falls asleep on the way to nursery. We have a 30 minute drive as we live in the country and I know this is likely reinforcing his EW.  I can try to not let him nap but it's hard as I know he needs it from being up so early...the nap usually happens around 7:00am for 15-20 minutes. 

How do I get him to tack that extra 15 or 20 onto his night time sleep and not do it in the car??!?!?!?

Help? I'm confused!

[mycatmonet]

hugs! My 16mth old is waking around 5am, for the last couple of months. Anywhere from 4:30am really. WU after 5:30am a few times! It's 5:20am as i write this and she's still asleep, luxury! But technically it's not ew now as she was asleep at 6:30pm... I feel your pain!!!!!!!!
We had to change our 7pm set bt as the 5am wu happened regardless of bt. Sigh.
I haven't been game to try w2s, but it was suggested to me. Have you tried that?
I wonder if stopping the short cn in the car for a week might help? I know the los are tired in the am from the ew, but a week might give it a chance to see if it'll work. Can you make bt any earlier for a bit? Maybe your DS will feel more rested if he gets a little more ns?
 

[HenaV]

Hi there, just tagging along....

Have you ladies had any luck - my DD(nearly 21m) is waking consistently at 5am no matter what I do. Usually a 5am /short night would be indicative of OT fit her, but all my 'usual tricks' don't seem I be working!! Any issues that I might be able to try?

[mycatmonet]

hi hena, no luck here, still 5am wus! I am considering going back to set naps and bt and trying that. I just can't bring myself to do w2s... Though i know the theory i i am terrified of it. I just don't know what time to set the set naps at!
Ew is soooo annoying, no matter what i do, it's still a 5am wu... Today was a 5:05am sleep in!

[HenaV]

She might have slept in but I bet you were awake just waiting for the EWU??!!?? 
Hi Caitlin,

I too thought about set nap and BT but if you do it around the EW us that just setting that as the routine so EWs are inevitable?

We had a set nap of 12.30-2.45 and set BT of 7pm ( with a 6.30-7am WU) before the EWs started. I just don't know what went wrong. To be fair, before the EWs stArted she was waking closer to 6 than 7, I thought that was just her body clock regulating to the set nap and BT, wrong!!!!

I thought perhaps I should go back to the set tones we had, but would I perpetuating OT. I say that because on a couple of days she fell asleep
Before 12 literally in her lunch, bless her!!  I too thought about W2S having seen your post but am too chicken. its worked in the past for Ruby but what if it just gets worse??!!!!So yep, all put of ideas here!!!

[mycatmonet]

it's so hard. I wouldn't mind 5am wu if she'd had 11 hr sleep. Then at least we could work on pushing our day forward. It's crazy now, 6am would be a massive sleep in.

[HenaV]

Agreed!! The clocks go forward here tonight so at least the click will look a little more acceptable WU time wise! I put R to bed at 6.30 last night on the basis that she perhaps won't be as OT (I haven't got the guts to go with a 13h day - bt@6pm) that said R usually responded well to a day no longer than 12.5h. Anyway she was up At 4.45. Tried to resettle, no joy.

I think I might go back to set nap BT. I know it's a bit of a push but I was thinking of trying 12pm nap  & 6.30/45  BT - Any thoughts?

Alternatively, I am wondering whether to abandon all attempts and try going more with the flow?

[mycatmonet]

i feel so clueless! I tried 11:30 nap today, and got a 50min nap. So, on that shorter nap i thought i'd try an ebt rather than the 6:30pm we'd done for a few nights. I pd at 5:20pm, and now at 6pm she's not asleep yet...
I think set naps and bt might help us. You can only try a noon nap and see what happens. I don't think my dd can last that long from a 5am wu though? I might try at set bt at 6:30pm and 11am nap and see how we go. We have teeth in the mix atm.... Feels like it never ends!
 

[*Becky*]

Hena - I think it kind of depends what your gut feeling is as regards the EWing. If you think she is OT/teething I would do the earlier nap and BT as you have just posted (for a bit) but if you think her sleep needs have decreased then really you need to get to a later BT so that she is not up so early - does that make sense?
Have any of you considered a gro-clock. I am holding off as I have DS to think about and it is a bit more complicated i.e. I need to be totally ready as she wakes him etc but at about 20 months they should understand the concept if you are consistent enough.

[mycatmonet]

hi becky, i'll def get a gro clock but DD wouldn't understand it just yet.
DD finally went to sleep tonight at 6:10pm. Still glad i pd super early, as hoping for 5am wu now so she gets a long sleep (better than the 9h55min she had last night!).
Hena hope your day goes well and you get a decent nap...

[HenaV]

Thanks ladies.

Becky - I haven't looked into a gro-clock yet, though I'm thinking I might have to give it a go. To be honest I'm really confused re: what's going on with R ATM. She's showing signs of OT I.e - EW, bad behaviour, falling asleep in the car but for example this morning she nodded off for 10m max in the car, was a monster having her lunch. I put her to bed for a nap at 12 ( wasn't sure if she wasn't tired or on her 2nd wind) thinking she's been up ages and she's taken 15m to go off. Tonight I have no doubt she'll be a monster getting ready for bed and pretty much be out like a light. The only thing that's making me doubt whether she's OT is that we're not getting any early evening COs.

As you can probably tell, I  feel at a complete loss as to what is going on with her. I like to think I'm pretty on it re: reading what the cause is, but this time I just feel clueless. I think that's why im teetering in the brink of giving up.

My plan today....
Nap: 12.15 for up to 2.5h? (Not sure if that's too long -used to be 2h15 but working on the basis I want to get her closer to a 7pm BT)
BT:6.45-7pm

Hold the above for 1week come hell or high water and see how we go. If it doesn't work, then goodness only knows!!!!

Caitlin- your plan sounds like a good one. I too considered something similar but fear R might just wake earlier. Thankfully (touching wood) she naps well and infact is really grumpy when I wake her- I think she's still tired. Good luck tonight xx

[mycatmonet]

thanks hena! DD woke up at 4:35am, so after 10h 25min. oh dear!
But the GOOD news is she must have dozed off on and off, and didn't make much noise insisting she wanted to get UP until 6:40am. So, even though i was awake from 4:30am I got a little snoozy lie in.
Don't know what i will do today then. Nap   11-11:30ish i guess.
Hope your night is good hena! This is all too confusing to me too xx

[HenaV]

Hiss boo to the 4.35 WU but woohoo to the 6.40 lie!!! I think if your gut is telling you set naps is the way forward i'd stick with set times for a week despite WU time to maintain consistency and see if it does the trick!

Consistency, now to take a piece of my own advice!! R woke 3am (new time) and was awake for near enough an hour I think (I was snoozing so can 't be sure). I did go a d check her nappy as she'd not had a dirty one yesterday - no dirty nappy just a wide awake happy chatty girl. Too much DTS?

She WU 6.45 (new time) so with the NW, about 10h sleep. She did CO a couple of times between NW and WU but i think that was on account of the horrid nappy i found this morning. So far I worked on the theory she's OT. I think I might need to check out the UT. Our clocks have gone forward so I think a good opportunity to try a d get a handle on it (if us UT).

I was thinking of reducing her DTS to 2h say from 12 with BT at 7pm and try that for a week. I feel like I'm chopping and changing a bit but with the clocks going forward and a shorter day, I thought it might be worth a shot.

Any thoughts?

Well good luck, I hope u get a good nap and decent night. Xx

[mycatmonet]

with the clocks change i think it's a good time for a tweak! I wonder if it is ut rather than ot... I find it so hard to tell! With us it's more likely ot though... I guess? Lol
I stuck with 11.30AM nap today and got 1.5hrs (which atm is as good as it gets) did give meds though as saw some bottom canines poking through today and books are being chewed apart this weekend.... But BT 6:40, asleep 7:05pm. FX for at least 5:30am wu, or it's a short night with 5am wu....
Have a good day hena!



 

[HenaV]

Mmmm I'm thinking UT/OT cycle with us. I'm going to stick to the plan a d see how it goes.

From what u've said I would have said OT as well for your LO but hey going by Ruby's antics, what would I know!!!  Got everything crossed for a good night for u xxx