too many night wakings..

[Shiv52]

I don't think it's controversial Anna. I actually agree. It's not the same crying. There is going to be a lot of crying Katy. Loads. But it still doesn't mean you lift him out of the cot. You just stick with your plan. I did sit in the room rather than call out but I did not get either of them out of the cot. Just same story....time for sleep, lie down, milk in the morning when you get up.

And at you can tackle the NWs and the milk in one swoop.  I'd probably avoid having him in your bed at all until you get him sorted even in the morning as it can be very confusing.

[amayzie]

Yeah- ill do it all. I'm happy enough if i don't have work the next day to sit it out. Thanks!

[Shiv52]

Stan was this age when we finally got to the end of a year of BRUTAL EWs (pre 5.30am just about every day since 10months old, nothing would fix it) and yeh, I left him to cry. I called out to him that it's sleep time, mummy's asleep, daddy's asleep, he needs to sleep. But I knew he wasn't in pain, wasn't afraid, was just cross and having a big tantrum and this wasn't something I was prepared to negotiate on at all, any more. It took 3 nights.

I just wanted to point out that it can help to think not to think of sleep as a separate discipline issue when they are bigger toddlers. If your LO wanted another biscuit and you'd said no, then you wouldn't give in. And yes they would cry and scream and lie on the floor but you wouldn't change your mind. You'd say oh I'm sorry you are Cross. You can have a cracker instead or let's do some blocks or ultimately let them get it out of their system but the crying wouldn't change your response. With toddlers it's the same crying just at night. So same response, sorry you are cross but its time for sleep. Have your teddy or suck your thumb but its time to sleep'. 

[amayzie]

Well- I started the night not all that well by forgetting to give him his BT BF!! Yeah- lets just change it up Is all settled asleep now- and I told him that he wouldn't be in mummy's bed... perhaps that's all I'll need

[*jazzberry*]

Lol Katy too funny! Keeping fingers crossed for you...

[amayzie]

Ok- so what;s the consensus of me sitting on my laptop in his room while he cries? Is that all sorts of wrong? I thought he could look at my face by the glow

[amayzie]

Oh and do i lie him down or just reassure verbally and hope he lies down himself?

[*jazzberry*]

I think I would reassure verbally and leave the room. Have you decided to do gw?

[amayzie]

I just don't know that i'm up for having him cry with me out of the room! I'm currently on a chair on the other side of the room on my laptop occasionally telling him to lie down it's time for sleep- seems to be working. I sort of feel that getting out of the room will not be as hard long term as getting him out of our bed.. so more a GW thing...

[amayzie]

So if i do leave the room- do i reassure verbally then go... then shout through the door? Or go back in.. WIWO style? I'm clearly all over the place here!!

ANd the little prince has clearly worked out how to play this game!! As well as asking for 'cuddle on the lounge', 'cuddle mummy' and to 'hop out' he's now asking for 'more nose suck!'- which means i will pick him up, put him on the change table and use a nose sucker thingy!! Desperate times call for desperate measures i guess!

[Erin M]

Desperate little boy!! I'd try reassuring from outside the room first. 

[anna*]

What's the problem with him crying if he knows you are nearby? I wouldn't lie him down at all. You can do WIWO if he responds to it, it made/makes both of my two absolutely frantic so I'm best of going in once (to check no fever/lost lovey/puke/whatever), then getting out of there and reassuring through the door - or more like, restating the rules. It's sleep time. Lie down. Not cuddles time. Lie down. Sleep now.

[*jazzberry*]

Lol! I would pick a tactic and then stick with it. So definitely not out of the bed, not even for a nose suck... If you feel it is working doing what you are doing then I would stick to it, stay there, repeat whatever it is you are saying every now and then until he gives up. Tomorrow you can move to the doorway and maybe the next night out of the room. I have never had to do it though so not speaking from experience...

Posted with anna, yeh maybe just sit outside the door tonight, you can say your sleepy phrase from there (with the laptop obviously)

[amayzie]

with the laptop obviously)

Well that goes without saying!!

Ok- so round one lasted 20 mins.. i ended up staying in the room and saying the sleepy phrase and then left after he'd settled. I think though that he wasn't actually asleep hich is good as he looked at me i think as i left... so i'll see if i have more later in the night!

The main reason i didn't want to reassure from outside is that our house is really small and i sort of thought that would keep DH up as i'd essentially be shouting into our door too... (makes me sound a bit under the thumb trying not to disturb my precious DH...remember though- the whole man flu thing )

Thanks so much for all of your suppport ladies!! I again don't know what i would do without the guidance on here!!

[katie80]

(((Hugs))), Katy. I did WIWO with Claire at this age and I was surprised at the things she came up with to try to get me to engage her more. Smart little buggers! 20min is really quick to be out; if you're consistent across the board, I bet you'll be all said and done in just a few days.