It's getting worse.. something is wrong somewhere. .plz help

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi..

All day it just feels as though I am putting my lo to sleep. He starts showing signs of tiredness from 1hr 15mins and when I try to put him to sleep he just fights but is cranky and whiny all the way through his entire a time.

He is 27weeks old and should be managing 2.5-3hrs a time but we're no where near and as a result his naps are 30-40mins long..and is awake every hour at night!! I am trying to increase a times but it just seems like a constant struggle. Without proper night sleep I feel like I am really unable to cope.. I just need support.

My lo is fully established on solids and has 3-4 6oz feeds a day. He still feeds at night and I was hoping to start weaning himoff them as he has gone a few nnights without and has been fine. What would you suggest? ?

[Ima shel Alon]

I think before getting rid of the NF I would work on increasing his A time. One battle at a time, yk? But that's me.

You are right, he should be managing around 3h A time and all what you are describing sounds like a result of him being UT. I know... it's tricky, because LO seems so OT and ready to sleep but actually is not and not napping enough, then getting more tired because of not enough day sleep... It's a vicious cycle.
When you increase A times you do it gradually, that way you prevent him from getting OT and give him enough time to get used to the new A at each increase. If he is doing now 1:15h A time then I would first up it to 1:30h A time and stick to thet for 3 days. You might get OT naps from him (30-35min) but you are already getting those... I would just keep on increasing the same way - by 15min every 3 days till you are closer to 3h and getting better naps. If you feel like he can handle more than 15min increments then you can also do 20-25min because he is quite far from what he should be doing.
When DS was a baby and I had to increase his A time every once in a while the last part of the A was hard for him and sometimes I had to carry him around for the last 30min of his A time. If I put him when I *thought* he was ready I would always get UT naps.

Good luck! Let me know how you are doing.

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi

Thanks so much for the advice. I will try my best to extend a times..

Will gwt back to you in a few days with an update!

X

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hiiii..

I took all your advice last time and it still seems that its not working.. he still wakes at the same times and won't settle unless fed. I am due back at work in june and need this sorted otherwise I'm going to be exhausted! !
His a times average around 2h 45/50m sometimes 3hrs. Im still steadily increasing them but sometimes he just gets cranky really early on n it seems impossible to extend them...

Please could you give me anymore advice? Do u think I should feed him solids at 7pm instead of 5...he usually goes to bed at 8?

Thanks x

[Ima shel Alon]

He is 7m, right? I think it's great you made a progress with the A times, I know how hard it is.
Could you post your day in an EASY format and I can have a look? I want to see if his nap are short and how short they are and how are his NW - when and is he crying or chatty. Are you feeding for every NW?

I personally wouldn't give solids so close to BT at this age, I would stay with 17. If he has a milk feed BF or FF before BT it should be sufficient for at least the first part of the night.
Hugs, hang in there, we will sort it out.

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi..

Yes he is 7mnths today. His easy is as follows although it changes day to day depending on how long he naps.
He is currently teething and is quite poorly right now with sickness and diarrhoea.  But a week and a half ago he was improving with naps but was still waking at night...so I have wrote the easy prior to being ill

Wake up 0715
E 0730 milk
S 0900-1000
E Breakfast solids 1000
A
E 1230 solids & milk
S 1300 -1430
A
E 1500 milk
E 1700 solids
S1730-1800
A
E milk 1900
E top up milk feed before bed
Bed - usually around 2-2.5 hours after last wake up 2000-2030

[ismaeelsmummy]

He usually wakes up at 11-12.30 and 4.30-5.30 he cries when he wakes and isnt chatty and only settles by milk.. im quite sure the milk thing is for comfort or a habit as some days he has had less during the day and slept longer at night before waking.
His naps vary from 30m to 1h 30

[Ima shel Alon]

First of all, if he is unwell now then all tweaking is on hold. He has to get better before we are sorting out his routine.

Looking at your EASY (in case this is going to reoccur again) it looks like the main problem is the first A time, which is too short for him. He gives you an UT nap after it so I would work on increasing this specific A time because the others look good for now. This will help with NW - did I get it right that it takes like 1.5h to settle him back to sleep? An OT NW is usually easier to settle but an UT NW is very difficult because baby is not tired enough. If the tweaking doesn't help then you can try and gradually wean the NF. If you are BF then you shorten the NF by a minute every 3 night and if you are FF you reduce the bottle by an oz every three nights. This worked very well for us.

[ismaeelsmummy]

If I feed him it is really easy to settle him at night if I dont its impossible. It just seems that he is constantly tired. It os a real struggle to get him to do an a time of 3hrs some days I just about manage 2.5hs. How should I handle his illness around his routine. I have been giving him plenty of cuddles and as he won't settle on his own and allowing him to fall asleep in my lap..I think he really needs me right now x

[Ima shel Alon]

How should I handle his illness around his routine. I have been giving him plenty of cuddles and as he won't settle on his own and allowing him to fall asleep in my lap..I think he really needs me right now

You really just do what you gotta do, yk? He does need you more now and you shouldn't worry so much about A times and AP when LO is ill.
Hope he is better soon.

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi..

After a week of diarrhoea lo is finally better..

Although he is up every two hours wanting to be fed to sleep. Even if the bottle is empty he will suck on it til hes asleep.  I think this was caused by giving him diaoralyte whilst ill and he would nod off whilst drinking. Now he goes to bed at 7-8pm and wakes
9.30
12.00
2.00-3.00
5.00
7.00

He wount settle at all. I have tried white noise but he just wants the bottle. He doesn't even drink much milk when given it at night. He has an average a time of 3hrs.  Should I just refuse to give him the bottle?  I am sooooo tired right now and im really struggling to settle him when he wakes as he seems to be really frustrated and angry. I have tried meds before sleep incase its teething but it didn't work. Pupd makes it worse and im stuck for ideas now...

[Ima shel Alon]

So two things - first of all, he would still need more A time. 3h is not enough at his age, so I would work on increasing that by 10-15min for the next 3-4 days and then we'll see how his naps are.
The NW can either be because of UT but can also be because the bottle became a prop and he is dependent on that now to settle back to sleep. You have two options. The first one is to go "cold turkey" on all or most NF (you can still leave one in the middle of the night for now). Every other NW which is not at the time of NF you chose you are settling with PU/PD. I know you said it makes things worse, which is what most parents say, but if you stick to it for 2-3 nights and do it the right way then you will see a change already in such a shirt time. But you gotta put the work, yk? Here is some info: How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)
The reason why most parents think it's worse with PU/PD is because there is a lot of crying in the first night, but if you go through that night then things get better.
The other possibility is to go gradually with the bottle, so increasing the volume of it by an oz every 3 nights.
Good luck!

[ismaeelsmummy]

Right ok..

I do understand about a times as they increase with age. But im having major problems getting through those a times as he is just so tired in the last half and constantly crying and whinging. 
I am looking to go cold turkey as he doesnt matter how much he drinks he just wants a bottle in his mouth whether full or empty. Ok I will try pupd. And get back to u tomorrow.  I never know whether im doing it right but will read the pupd post and tell u how I get on.. wish me luck xx thanks ever so much.

[ismaeelsmummy]

Hi could u please clarify when I am supposed to put lo down with pupd? He is 7 months old. As it says hold in cradle position and put him down after saying the soothing words. Do I put him down even if hes still crying ?

[Ima shel Alon]

I always had to hold DS the last 30min of A time because he was so crabby, but if I put him down when I thought he is ready for his nap then I'd always get an UT nap.
I asked someone to come and help more with PU/PD as I did it only later on when DS was 9m.