Getting back on track - lost as to what is the right thing to do.

[Buttonbobs]

E has been much better the last two days and has a ravenous appetite which is hopefully making up for the 5 days of no food during her D&V bug. Our issue now really is sleep.

Before E was ill our EASY was (with set nap and BT):

WU: 6.30/7
Nap: 12.30 (often 1hr20 if at nursery or 1hr55/2.5 hrs if at home)
BT: 7.30 (or a little earlier if a short nap).

Then while she was ill we had a couple of appalling bad nights followed by lots of extra day sleep as you might expect. She then pulled a couple of really long (14 hr) nights.

Yesterday at home she cried going down for a nap at 12.30 & eventually went to sleep with me sitting near her cot so she could see me and singing twinkle twinkle to her. I moved out to the top of the stairs & carried on humming once she had calmed. We had an awful night last night with NWs at 10pm (when we gave calpol), and then virtually hourly from 2.30 onwards.

Today she was at nursery but her EASY was:

WU: 6.40
Nap: 12.30 for 1hr20mins
BT: put down at 7.15 - very happy and chatting to her teddies, dropped off at about 7.30.
She's just woken screaming and totally inconsolable at 10.05. She was asking for milk but fell asleep crying with us with her immediately after calpol had been given but before the milk had been offered.

I'm not sure that she isn't teething and there may be some residual discomfort from the tummy bug, but my instinct is that she has had so many cuddles etc due to the illness that she's wanting that still and is annoyed when we don't go to her - maybe some SA.

So, do you think I'm missing something or should we carry on as we are, saying our sleepy phrases and if necessary sitting with her while she settles. We've never done GW properly as she usually sets herself back to her independent sleep after a night or so of disruption but this seems a bit different.

Could it also be 18 month regression a bit early?

[Buttonbobs]

Ten minuts later and awake screaming again. Asked for milk but she only had 2-3oz of formula. Not a full feed but more than an insignificant amount - could be soothing I suppose.

[*Becky*]

how were you dealing with sleep when she was ill Naomi? Was she in your bed or rocked?? How long was it for? Is she still having meds for anything?

[Buttonbobs]

For the first three nights she was in a travel cot in our lounge with my husband sleeping on the sofa, then she was back in her own cot and I think she was possibly rocked by DH a couple of times in the night but not for every sleep. She is not on meds other than the calpol as described above.

It's so much easier being objective about other posts than working out your own situation isn't it?

[*Becky*]

I would carry on as you are, she is probably going to need some extra support as she has been so ill. It does sound like there might be some pain if she settled for 4.5 hours after the calpol? That is about how long it lasts...
Personally I would not give milk at night but meds as and when necessary and a form of GW. Hard though isn't it...M freaks with WIWO when she is in pain but is also really disturbed by us being there unless she is super sick!

[Buttonbobs]

Thanks, that's kind of what I thought but it's good to be reassured

Now that she's eating normally again in the day I'll be happier to refuse milk at night. I thought that about meds too. I think she's coming down with my cold & possibly teething again so we'll just keep going as we are. Thanks for the support Becky xx

[*Becky*]

pleasure....it feels endless with the illness and teeth doesn't it!?

[Buttonbobs]

urgh - I spoke too soon, last night was not a good night

E woke at 10ish and settled herself. Then she woke at 2 and DH tried to settle her with soothing words from the door. It seemed to work but then five mins later she started screaming like a banshee shouting "milk milk milk" over and over at the top of her voice. We gave calpol and waited but the screaming got worse. Offered milk and she drank 5 oz so it seems she was properly hungry.

Then she woke at 4 (which should still be under the cover of calpol if pain was the cause right?) and demanded milk again. I didn't think she could possibly be hungry and as we are so exhausted we brought her into our bed but still the screaming continued. She continued to demand milk and drank a further 4 oz! She went to sleep properly at 5ish and we moved her back to her cot where she slept until 7am - she woke and drank another 6 oz of milk.

She hasn't had night feeds since she was 10 months old, this seems nuts!

[*Becky*]

so tricky isn't it.
Ok well I know after they have been ill they can often eat absolutely loads to make up for it so I guess there 'could' be an element of need but tbh that should be going now if she is eating well in the day. It is a tricky one with toddlers rather than babies - they are pretty clever!
So 2 approaches. Either you go cold turkey and just say no more milk, talk about it a lot in the day with her etc or you start by only giving 1 night feed, make a plan i.e. after 12pm we do 1 feed and then resettle the other times. Ultimately you want to cut them out but if it is causing you too much stress then do it gradually. I just think that these situations can escalate at this age...
how was last night?

[Buttonbobs]

Thanks Becky, I think I have just come to the same conclusion as you. She woke at 4.45 last night & had 6 oz of milk. I tried for ten mins to settle her the usual way first but it was too distressing for me at the moment. She had woken five times before midnight too and we didn't feed - seems she was OT. As we've got a clock change this weekend and visits to my family and also DH's family this is probably a good time to try to help reset her sleeping patterns.

Her normal naps are set at 12.30 - but I may watch for tired signs and go a bit earlier if she wants to. This may not be possible as she slept until 8am this morning but we'll see.

E self weaned her night feeds apart from her DF before so if this feeding continues for a while I may need some tips as to how to go about that. I plan to offer one extra milk feed during the day today when she wakes from her nap to see if she'll take extra then and see if that helps. I'll also talk to her a lot about it today.

[Buttonbobs]

Well she can do it! I think OT must have been the main problem, she was asking for bed at 6pm last night so we did swift bath, milk & bed & she slept soundly from 6.30pm to 6.45am, bliss

I'll keep up offering extra daytime milk for a few days and see how we go.

[*Becky*]

great news
long may it continue x