7 week old, time to develop some good sleep habits

[Swannie]

I need some help to start getting my seven week old Spirited Baby to fall asleep on her own and be able to stay asleep for longer.

We dealt with many breastfeeding issues all along, so I was not paying enough attention to sleep issues.  Those have finally resolved (see my other posts) and now I would like to work on the sleep issues.

Here is what I am dealing with:

She has been very alert from early on. It is very difficult to get her to wind down because she wants to keep playing and look around, even when she is clearly tired.  When she wakes mid-nap her eyes open wide and she seems to get distracted by all of the interesting things to look at.

When she shows signs of tiredness we rock her to sleep.  Soon after we put her down (asleep) for a nap, she wakes up.  If she is lucky to stay asleep for an entire 40 minute sleep cycle then she wakes up and can't get into another cycle.  She can fall asleep and stay asleep in the stroller, even after it has stopped moving.

It is very difficult to get her to bed at night.  For weeks her "bedtime" was between 11pm and 1am!  This has gotten a bit better now that we have her feeding issues resolved but it is still a struggle.  After her evening feed it is almost impossible to put her down.  She will sleep in our arms though.  Then after her feed at 10 or 11, he is tired enough that I can get her into her swaddle and put her to bed (asleep).  She will then sleep for 2-4 hours, which is her longest stretch.  She will wake up at around 2am to eat and then I can put her back to bed (asleep) and she will usually wake up within two hours.  She may do this one more time before getting up for the day.

She has a bit of reflux so I was advised by our Dr to keep her upright for twenty minutes after each feed.  I think that this has contributed to our sleep issues because she gets used to falling asleep in my arms at night.

I am now feeding her every 3+ hours during the day.  She eats and plays and then I try for a nap.  She will rarely nap all the way to the next feed.

She has a strong startle response but gets VERY upset when I try to swaddle her during the day.   I can get her into at night when she is asleep. She loves to suck on her hands.  She refuses the pacifier.   She is a very healthy weight (11 pounds 14 ounces at 7weeks and was 6 pounds 15 ounces at birth).

I want to start training her to fall asleep on her own.  Do I start with bedtime, "naps" or both?  ANY help will be appreciated.

I have not gotten more than a two hour stretch in seven weeks!

[jessmum46]

Hi and welcome

This is a really helpful place to start: Starting EASY - all you need to know and more! but I'd also recommend you take a look here: Getting started - how I survived the first 3 months

Seven weeks is still very young and she is unlikely to be able to manage fully independent sleep just yet.  I do wonder about her reflux and whether it is perhaps causing her more discomfort than you think?  Short naps and frequent wakings at this age can often be signs that reflux isn't controlled fully, and many babies do need medication to help.  Do you have her mattress on an incline?  If she is in discomfort from reflux, most mummies who have been there will say that in the early days you do what you need to do to get you and LO some sleep, and worry about sleep training when the reflux is controlled.

Some gentle things you can do to start encouraging independent sleep (accepting that there will be times you need to give her more help) are to start a nice consistent winddown routine - What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual) - and use shh pat Teaching Sleep to Newborns and Young Infants.  You mind need to modify it to suit your LO - refluxers often find a pat on the back worsens the reflux, and prefer patting on the bottom or hip.  Keeping A times at an age-appropriate length will also help - Is my baby ready to increase his ‘A’ time? (incl. 'A' times for younger babies)

Lots of info there - let us know if you have more questions!

[Swannie]

Thanks for your advice.  I have now read the links.

I am not even sure if she has reflux as she only has a few of the symptoms listed (mainly spit up).  The Dr said it was a possibility but that was before I learned a had an oversupply/heavy let-down and that I was overfeeding her!  Since I have made the appropriate changes she does spit up a lot less.

She napped three hours in her stroller today.  I guess she finds it comfy.

I tried the four Ss to get her to bed just now.  It went downhill after she protested the swaddle and worked herself up.  I let her have her arms out but she continued to scream.  ( I usually only fully swaddle her after night feeds when I can put her in while she is asleep or almost asleep). It is impossible to put her down at all if she is not calm.  My partner just took over to give it another try.  I can hear them and it does not sound like it is going well.

[nevinsmama]

Hi there, I am sorry you are having such a rough start to your night! THe early days can be so tough I know. My DD fought being swaddled too but she still really needed it and fought it less when it was tighter, much tighter. Have you looked at one of these? A woombie with some extra arm support for those flailing arms!!
http://www.woombie.com/proddetail.php?prod=wrap_and_snap&cat=3

Have you tried just walking around with her quietly after you swaddle her?
This helped my DD alot because she always let out a burst of rage when I swaddled her but it still really helped her sleep. 

NOt sure where you are with the reflux possibility but have you had a look here to see if any of this adds up?
Colic, Reflux, & Crying

Don't hesitate to back off and do some AP and cuddles if things get rough, there is plenty of time for independent sleep! Hope this helps and fingers crossed that your night improves!

[Swannie]

She has two types of swaddles, one is tight like the wombie but she manages to bust out of it.

Last night our attempts at Pat/Shush for 8pm bedtime failed and led to screaming for a couple of hours and then falling asleep in my partners arms for a short while.  She then fed at 11:20pm and slept 12am-3am and after her feed she woke every 30-60 minutes.  After night feeds I can manage to get her into the full swaddle but it is getting harder and she still manages to bust out of it by the time she wakes up. For two of the times I put her back down she did manage to fall asleep on her own but awoke within a short time.

For this morning's nap I spent an hour trying pat/shush.  I tried an arms in swaddle but she started screaming so then I let her have her arms out and she calmed down immediately.  I got her in once, awake but drowsy and started pat/shushing.  (Rather than a "pat" I use my arms to put light pressure on her shoulders and hip.) We did this for ten min or so but she eventually got frustrated and started crying.  We did it again and this time she eventually fell asleep and I waited out the twenty minutes.  I caught the 10 min jolt and she kept sleeping.  I also caught the 20 minute jolt but despite my efforts to steady her she still woke up.  She was happy and is now sitting with me in her swing (an activity, bc it is does NOT put her to sleep).

She seems to only cry when we try to swaddle her and put her to sleep.  That is why I don't think she has reflux.  But I will keep an eye on it.  We have a Dr appt in two weeks but I can move that up if I need to.

I know she still young enough for us to use AP but I think it is making it worse.   Since she can't put herself to sleep she can't put herself back to sleep when she wakes in the night.  The only AP that really works is holding her for her entire sleep and going for a walk in the stroller.  Neither are practical at night.

She looks happy now but so tired.  Red eyes...