7 month old with bad sleep hbabits

[Cbuemann]

Hello,
 
I am the classic case of accidental parenting. My son is now over 7 months old and has terrible sleep habits. He has been referred for physiotherapy as he is a little behind in his gross motor skills and she attributed a significant portion of that to him being constantly tired (therefore fussy). My husband works very long hours (17 hour days) at a dangerous job so I am basically a single parent. I am also self employed and I'm currently working from home which adds another element of complication. All of that aside, we have a spirited / touchy baby who hates sleeping.
 
He has been in his own crib since around 4 months and prior to that he was in a bassinet in our room. We have been doing a consistent bedtime routine since around that time as well (bath, books, breastfeed, bed). I was using massage but found it too stimulating for him. In order to get him to sleep, I would have to rock him on my knees or nurse him. He clearly could not put himself back to sleep as he would only nap for around 30 mins at a time and would wake up every few hours at night. I would usually try to rock him back to sleep at night or if all else failed, bring him to bed with me (which usually happened after my husband left for work around 1am). I would rush in the moment I heard a peep because if he fully woke up, it could take him 2-4 hours to go back down! At nap time, I would naively just get him up when he woke up however I have to admit that many naps were on my chest or lap as the moment I moved him to put him in his crib, he would be up for good.
 
I started trying to implement EASY along with an age appropriate schedule that I found on here a few days ago. I started PU/PD 3 nights ago and was amazed at how he fell asleep after 45 mins of it! He woke up a few times in the night but went back down much easier. The second night went good too but last night was tougher. Here are my questions for you:
 
-I find PU/PD fairly stimulating for him. He will calm down if I sing him a lullaby or shhh and pat him. Last night I did a combo of both. Am I undoing the benefits if PU/PD by doing that? Is he learning to fall asleep in his own still or am I turning that into another prop for him?
 -Should I leave the room if he is calm and only come in when he is worked up or stay in the room while he is learning to fall asleep?
 -I tried PU/PD for his naps right away as well and it was terrible. I spent 2 hours doing it as he was hysterical and was flailing so hard that I could barely hold onto him let alone calm him down. He ended up just staying awake until the second nap!! I was so afraid that being so overtired would mess with his nighttime sleep that I decided to do the training in stages. Get him used to the nighttime habits then start on the naps. Is that counterproductive? Should I be doing naps too? Right now I'm still nursing/rocking/whatever it takes to get him to sleep (and stay asleep) in order to get him used to longer nap times and our new schedule. I feel like that's cheating but I don't think I can take any more screaming sessions.
 
I'm sorry for the novel but I have a million questions and I'm feeling so confused and overwhelmed. Thank you so much in advance.
 
Christine

[*Kara*]

Hugs Christine!

I wouldn't use PUPD if he is finding it to be too much.  It's not the best option for all babies (I have never used it as mine becomes hysterical very quickly).

Can you post what your day looks like right now?  Not what you want, but what it actually is.

Like this:

E 7am
A
S 930-11am  etc

Also, is he breastfed/formula fed?  Solids?  If so, how much and when as well as what is he eating?

[Cbuemann]

Hi Kara,

Thank you so much for your response. I apologize for my delayed response, I just realized that my previous post did not work.

He is breastfed as well as solids. Here is what our days usually look like:

E 7am - Wake up (I try to feed him but he doesn't eat much, if anything)
   7:30-8am - Solids (Rice cereal & fruit)
A Jacob plays on the floor with his toys while I pump
S 9-10am Nap (he usually wakes up after 1/2 hour, however I have been making him stay in his room for the full hour. I also try anything possible to get him back to sleep at that point)
E When he wakes up
   12-1pm Solids (cereal & veggies)
A Depends on the day (usually jolly jumper for a bit while I get ready)
S 2-3pm Nap (again, he usually wakes up after 45 mins and I try to get him back to sleep for at least 1-1.5 hours. Sometimes it works, sometimes not)
E When he wakes up
   5-5:30 Solids (cereal, veggies & protein)
S 6-6:30 Get started on bedtime routine (bath, same 3 books, breastfeed, bed)
E 3am - breastfeed (until last week this was 2 times a night at least, however since we have been sleep training, it is only once. He still wakes up a few times a night but puts himself back to sleep usually)

The night times are still not perfect, but they are getting a lot better. The daytime naps are still all over the place to be honest. He seems to be tired from the minute he wakes up until he goes to bed. Prior to us starting the sleep training / schedule on Friday, he would get tired around 10, 12 and 2 and 4 every day so I would try to put him down for short naps around then. Since it takes him so long to fall asleep, it felt like our entire day was spent trying to get him to sleep. Sometimes he is so overtired that it is nearly impossible to get him to nap. I try to only feed him when he wakes up as that is when he eats best, however sometimes I end up feeding him before or during his nap time just to get him to sleep as it will calm him down.

Thank you again so much for your help!

Christine

[*Kara*]

Well, I don't think he has bad sleep habits   I think he is quite undertired for his first nap and this causes a short nap and leads to OT over the day.. then he crashes at night.

His A time should be around 3 hrs at this age... I would start by pushing him to at least 2.5 hrs first part of the day and see if that nap lengthens out.

[Cbuemann]

Ok I will do that for sure!! Thank you so much!! 

[*Kara*]

Good luck hun... if he doesn't extend that first nap after a few days at 2.5 hr of A time, push him closer to 3 hrs...

[Cbuemann]

Ok thank you! He woke up at 6:30 this morning (first time sleeping through the night!) and I put him down around 9:30am. He still woke up after 30 mins but he fell asleep and went back to sleep faster. I have been letting him wake up after 30 mins for so long that I feel like he needs to learn that naps are longer. I am still rocking/nursing him to sleep for the most part and sometimes he does the second half of the nap in my arms. I have been waiting until the night sleeping is consistent before starting sleep training with the naps. Do you think that's counter productive?

[*Kara*]

Nope - I AP naps to teach my LO how to nap longer too... once she started to transition without me bouncing/jiggling etc, I moved her to the crib.

Night sleep and day sleep are controlled by different parts of the brain so you can do things differently and get away with it