8 wo DS won't stay asleep

[BensMommy79]

We've been trying EASY for about a week now and I cannot get my DS to stay asleep! When I do get him to settle for a nap, he is usually awake anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes later and so alert that it takes quite a while to get him off to sleep again. We always start nap time with a swaddle, white noise, and a cuddle with his head on my shoulder. I am trying to rock him until he looks very drowsy, then put him back in the crib and do shh/pat. I do this both initially and when he wakes up early. He is EBF and at first I thought he was waking up hungry, but he's definitely gaining weight and wetting enough diapers.  The first couple days he woke up screaming in his crib which is why I thought he was hungry, though he's progressed to laying there very alert and happily playing with his hands for 10 minutes or so before making a peep. He is mostly calm through this whole process, with only a little sporadic crying. He's on a 3 hr schedule, which usually falls apart by the end of the day, resulting in an OT baby that is difficult to get down for the night.

We start the day off well enough, but because he won't stay asleep our A and S times end up all skewed in the afternoon/evening.  Here's our day:

7:30 - Eat
7:45 - Diaper change, play with mommy, quiet alert time
9:00 - Sleep - we may have a couple yawns at this point, but usually still pretty alert
10:30 - Eat
10:45 - Play mat, interacting with mommy & Gramma
11:30 - Starts to show sleepy cues, but fights falling asleep. I usually rock and shh/pat him until it's time to eat again.
1:30 - Eat
1:45 - Active
2:30 - Sleep - try for nap but only get a couple minutes. I rock and shh/pat him until it's time to eat again. He may fall asleep again while being rocked, but won't stay asleep.
4:30 - Eat
4:45 - Active
5:30 - Sleep (see 2:30)
6:00 - Eat
6:15 - Active
7:00 - Eat
7:15 - Bath, pjs, story, swaddle
8:00 - Eat
8:15 - Try to get him to sleep for the night.
11:30 - Eat
1:30 or 2:30 am - Eat
4:30 am - Eat

It took us over 4 hours to get him to fall asleep for the night last night.  Needless to say, if my MIL weren't here, I'd never be eating, showering, or using the bathroom as someone is almost constantly trying to get DS to sleep! 

How can I get him to stay asleep??

[anna*]

I think you need to be settling him to sleep much earlier. At the moment he's awake for 1.5hrs before his first nap which is still too long for him at this age I would try to keep it to about 1hr and 10-20 mins tops. If he does a short nap, you'll need to shorten the next awake time even more to maybe 45 mins. Is he properly swaddled?How does he play with his hands if he's swaddled? Maybe not swaddled tight enough?

[BensMommy79]

I had started out with an hour for the first awake time but after a couple days of no sleepy cues and 30+ min of trying to get him to sleep, the first A period just ended up being longer. I will try shortening it again though.

Forgot to mention - he's always hated having his arms tucked into the swaddle, since the first week. He'd struggle and strain to get them free until he had himself all worked up.  I leave them out regularly now, but still "swaddle" as part of our wind down routine. I know it defeats the purpose of swaddling if he's going to startle himself awake (I've watched, that's not what's happening) but he's more calm when his arms are out. He sleeps with his arms stretched above his head.