PD at 14 months (and overtired)

[lcporders]

Hi, I wasn't sure if this was the best forum for my question or not, but here goes...

My DS knows how to fall asleep independently, as in without direct intervention from me, but I haven't taught him to fall asleep (or rather, to be awake) when I'm not in the room.

Until 2 weeks ago, this was fine.  I put him down drowsy, he rolled over, I sat next to the crib for 5 minutes max, then left.

However, everything has fallen apart post vacation+molars+cold...(molars and cold continue)

It is now taking a Really Really long time for him to go to sleep! In part, he is overtired, making it hard to fall asleep.  Also, he's re-testing boundaries post vacation (will you really keep laying me down? how will i feel about that?) And, maybe there's some toddler determination and desire to play going on.  He's making a game being put down, at times...and then he's wide awake, requiring that he wind himself down.

I am feeling very impatient with what a waste of my time this is!  As long as I am in the room, there's no crying.  The moment I leave the room (which I rarely do) he sounds panicky - that is not what he expects from me! what other unpredictable thing might happen next?

Is the appropriate plan to do walk-in, walk out?  And does that mean I say good night etc., then leave..and as soon as he hollers I return, lay him down, then walk out again? And just do that for an extremely long time the first few nights? (My son gets a Serious case of second-wind.) Eventually, he'll either put himself to sleep quickly like he used to, or he'll play etc. without crying for help? ...Is the advice any different during night wakings? (Aside from evaluating teeth pain, clearing out the nose if needed, etc.) I would appreciate any advice!

If you've got any advice about simply helping an overtired child to catch up on sleep, I'd love to hear that too!  I've trying putting him to bed early to give him the opportunity to catch up on sleep..Occasionally this works really well. But most of the time he either doesn't fall asleep until his normal (late) time, or he wakes up in the middle of the night for 1.5 hrs, or he wakes up extremely early, or some combination of things.  NOT fun for any of us!

[HenaV]

Hi there!

That's WI/WO to a tee in my experience. Tbh, I've only had to use it over a short period of time once during 18m SR when a got caught out APing! The idea is to teach/show them that they can go to sleep by themselves whilst providing them with the security of knowing you're there and that they are not being abandoned or are alone - thus allowing them to feel its safe to be alone/fall asleep alone if that makes sense?

Some do just walk in, lay LO back down and WO. Personally, I WI, laid my DD down a d told her softly it was to time to go to sleep. If she was really upset a d properly crying, I'd Lay my hand on her chest (reassurance that mammas here for you) and when she quietened/calmed down, I left the room
Without saying a word. Invariably she would kick off again. I stood outside her room (door shut) and assessed her cry - if was just shouting etc i wouldn't go in. If was crying/genuinely upset, in again I would go. She did eventually relent!

Re: OT I guess it depends on how well your LO naps. You could try either letting your LO nap for da long as he likes with normal BT or EBT if you think that's necessary for say 3dsys and then cut the nap back keeping BT the same. Or try a 20 car/pram nap at around 9.30am a d then
Normal nap 2hours after WU (from car nap) and BT as normal. I would suggest that you don't extend your LOs day beyond 13h. Even that can be too long for some LOs. My DD can only proper handle a 13h day now at 21m - you'll know. Also, whatever you decide to try stick at it got at least 3days to properly be able to gauge whether its having a positive effect.

Hope that helps 

[lcporders]

Thanks for the advice.
Doesn't sound like much fun, but will probably be worth it....Do you think it matters if I start by doing it just for bedtime and not for NW? (it's so much more exhausting in the middle of the night)
Btw, what does APing mean?

As for the OT..DS is still taking two naps each day.  For a long time, the first was short and the second was long. For a while now, they're been in flux.  Overall, he naps 2.5 hr/day.  He's had a few short naps while OT, but you can tell he isn't happy to be up when he wakes up early. He will be weaning that first nap in a few weeks when he switches room at his daycare.  I could try limiting it now. I'm not sure whether that would result in improvement over night....As a general rule, do you think it's better to try to force the sleep catch-up to be at night time by limiting naps to normal and then offering the EBT? Or stick to the regular BT but allow long naps if they happen?

Thanks for your help!

[HenaV]

Hi,

So sorry delayed response - the alert thing doesn't seem
To be working for me re: new posts.

Anyway, APing = Accidental parenting

Re: WI/WO - as painful as it is, if you're going to do it i do think you need to be consistent - naps, BT & NW - sorry! I think to do otherwise would be sending mixed messages.

It's a toughie re: naps vs NTS when you know your LO us OT. After 18m SR my DD was all over the shop on account of OT so I did do 3days of 2.5h naps (morally capped 2h) and 6.30 BT (normally 7pm) but now if she seems a little OT I'll either car nap as I've described in my earlier port or let her have a one off uncapped nap with normal Bt. This can sometimes lead to an earlier start the next day but put us back on track for decent nights. It all depends on your LO tbh. Whatever you do try, nske sure it's one thing at a times, else his do you know what's working and stick at it for st least 3days to 1wk.

Good luck xxxx