Give her the spoon or a fork (it's quite common at this age to refuse the spoon they want to be independent). I preloaded a spoon for DS to take off me and self feed from 6 months. OK he wasn't very good at it at 6 months but he tried. I quickly switched to a fork which is far easier (IMO) as the food doesn't fall off. I used a disposable plastic fork for a while (the small sort you get in ready made lunch salads or fruit salads in teh supermarket) because the prongs were sharp enough to actually stab (which many plastic baby forks are not, they are useless) but not as sharp as metal and the handle is short, plus the plastic is lighter so a little easier for the younger one to handle. Then I switched to metal toddler cutlery which looks exactly like adult cutlery. You might find you can get away with gently holding the end of the fork just to prevent eye stabbing but let her manipulate it to her mouth, you just do the loading.
Will she take spread on the toast? You can use up any puree you have using it as spread. Then a variety of other spreads can offer quite a varied diet, humus, guacamole, pate (home made if you are concerned about salt levels), cream cheese... our latest discovery was a recipe for baba ganoush (aubergine dip) from another BW mummy. Yum!
Otherwise I'd keep offering the same you are and let her play, I always stopped mine dropping food over the side by physically but gently grabbing his arm/hand as it prepared to throw/drop overboard and telling him 'food is for eating' or 'you may not drop the food, keep it on your plate/tray please' and limiting how much was on his plate to just one or two pieces. he stopped really quickly - provide some other physics/gravity toys during A time to help with this too.
Have you tried a variety of plain veg? steamed green beans, asparagus, carrot batons, roasted sweet potato or turnip wedges (chips), the sweeter vegetables usually go down better to begin with. Roasted sweet peppers, peas, sweetcorn (good for pincer grasp practice too). I found with my DS that too many choices or mixed up food on his plate wasn't really appreciated. 1, 2 or 3 different flavours in one meal max and put out separately not mixed. If a made a stew for instance I split it after cooking into little piles of courgette, aubergine, potato etc on his plate so there were no surprises. I think they like to recognise what they are going to eat. Even cutting certain foods in teh same shape regularly helps to become familiar and comfortable with the food. I recently chopped carrots a different way and (at almost 2.5!) DS asked me 'what's this?' lol
If she is teething she'll go off food for several days then eat like a monster afterwards, so be prepared for a sudden increase in appetite but also for it to drop again back to normality. I would give an extra milk or toast serving if you think she is waking hungry, although tbh I wouldn't expect a baby this old to wake hungry if they are offered plenty of milk and solids in the day, it's more likely teething or some other disturbance.
hope something here helps x
