my 2yr old wont feed himself

[lucyjeffery]

 My son,Louis is now 2 yrs old & eats lots of different foods, if i feed him & they're not too lumpy!  I feel like he completely missed the 'self feeding' stage as when he was around 1yr he was diagnosed with cancer & in hospital for 3months,so him feeding himself was the least of my worries. He's fully recovered now    but still on steroids (which should make him feel hungry,but he doesn't really seem to ever b) . So my issues are that he won't feed himself a meal (even tho he can,as he's done it  for a few spoons b 4) if I just leave him to it,I know he will be more then happy to just leave the table without any dinner, then he wakes in the night hungry asking for a bottle of milk! Then I feel like we've really taken a step back. He also won't eat big lumpy food, like chicken,veg,fruit , sometimes He'll even refuse a baked bean I'm finding it stressful trying to get him to do it. Louis' ideal meal time would be pureed food fed by me . What to do?

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So sorry to hear your LO was poorly for so long and great news he is recovered

It seems totally understandable to me that his self feeding won't have come on the way you might expect.  Is there anything at all he will self feed?  I'm not suggesting you turn to totally unhealthy foods but would he for instance be tempted to pick up and self feed a pancake, cup cake or muffin?  (there are some healthy sugar free recipes with fruit and even veg in the recipe, even some made with white beans and eggs which are healthy and tasty) most kids are usually tempted by cake, I'm just thinking it would be a starting point, to encourage him to self feed.
When you say he won't take lumpy food, are you offering lumpy/puree/mashed or is the 'lumpy food' proper finger food (not mixed with puree at all, not mashed at all)?  Some kids just don't like lumps and don't like 'mixed' food but are happy to take finger food, 'real' food identical to mummy's food.  Does he ever look at your plate? Does he ever ask for anything you are eating?  It might help to ditch the spoon altogether.  Again, looking for foods most kids are happy to eat, chips always seem to go down well, if he will eat a few chips you can begin to expand his self feeding diet by roasting sweet potato, turnip, butternut squash, carrots etc in a chip/baton/wedge form.

At 2yo I would imagine he isn't going to be too far of the 'I do it by myself' stage, it may be a few months off, but if you notice any 'do it myself' behaviour or phrases I would take advantage of that too.

[lucyjeffery]

Thank you for your reply. He will eat finger foods, like crackers, bread sticks, crisps,sometimes toast. He really doesn't like anything too sweet, which I suppose is a good thing, won't eat chocolate,cakes, biscuits etc.  I don't know if I'm worrying for nothing, and I should be grateful that he eats so well when I feed him, i just know im going to have to tackle this at some point.

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He really doesn't like anything too sweet, which I suppose is a good thing, won't eat chocolate,cakes, biscuits etc.

Mine is like this and tends not to really like real cake and bsicuits (although he likes the look of them and will try some but then realises how sweet it is) but he does love the home made sugar free muffins and cupcakes.
I would increase the finger foods tbh.  See if you can expand on what he will take down that route, for example by using spread on the toast (pate, marmite, humous, grilled cheese) or something to dip the toast into (soup, taramasalata, other dips), and by expanding the types of 'toast' so crumpets, pitta bread, naan bread, tortilla wraps, garlic baguette, cheese and tomato flat bread...all bready but all have a different texture and taste which will expand his pallet.  Again you can try different dips and spreads or toppings on each.  Slowly though, just offer plain to begin with rather than going full on pizza yk.
How about steamed veg like carrot batons or asparagus?  Will he even play with them?

Does he eat anything off your plate?

[lucyjeffery]

Thank you, will defo try different breads. He loves humus so will try some other dips. Not Keen on  actually chewing carrotts  (or any veg, meat pasta etc)  will give the muffins and cakes a go too.

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Another BW mummy shared this recipe for a dip made of aubergine, it is really yummy. I made it with a spoon of pesto rather than the fresh basil in the recipe, just because i didn't have fresh basil.  We all enjoyed it, nice with flat bread etc to dip or spread.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/babaganoush_78707

And I am yet to try it but there is a red kidney bean dip on-line that sounds great.

Carrots, have you tried raw grated?  They either like the texture or they don't, worth trying though.  And anything else, the pasta etc just keep offering and one day he will take it.  Much easier if you just give him a couple of bits off your plate so you aren't cooking loads of extra meals which he then doesn't eat.  Also if you make something like pasta pop a couple of bits in a tub in the fridge for the next day and try them again. Seeing the same food on his plate repeatedly (without pressure to eat it) is a start.
There are some muffin recipes on the baby recipe boards if you want them and a super healthy bean and egg cupcake on the allergies recipe thread. Carrot and banana or sweet potato and sultana muffins are loved here. Also pancakes can take fruit and veg well.

I'm sure he will gradually begin to expand his tastes and feed himself.  It will just take a bit of time and encouragement.  It's great he eats well even if it is purées fed by you.  I would imagine age 3yo would be your aim for getting some self feeding accomplished ready for nursery, there is plenty of time.