Can you shush pat a newborn?

[ellenjess]

Hello
I used shush pat very successfully with my dd when she was about 3-4 months old and now want to help my ds learn to sleep independently.  Dd is now 2.

Ds is only 2 weeks old.  Is it worth starting yet?  I can already see that he will happily bf to sleep every time if I don't break the habit soon!

I was  wondering -  do I need to shush pat upstairs in the dark rather than in the lounge  with  dd in the back ground? Does he have to be swaddled -  is very hot at the moment.  I have read the tips about how to entertain dd while I attempt this with  ds.   Thank you!

[goldmom]

Everyone does things differently, but here's what we did:

I started shush-pat when DD was just a few days old, but some naps were harder than others to be successful with at this young age, so I tried to be very adjustable, with allowing APing when needed. Since it took a while for my newborn to settle, I had her in the main room of the house so that I didn't have to be in a bedroom for so long trying to get her to sleep, and I patted her while my DS played around us, where all his toys are. We moved her to a room to nap when she started waking up at 45 min when there was too much noise for her to transition (around 2 months or so, when it was also a little easier for her to nod off with less help).

With DS we started BW at 4/5 weeks, but life was very different when there was only 1.

I definitely recommend swaddling, since newborns are so comfortable all wrapped up. If it's too hot maybe you can use a really light blanket or keep a fan on near him. I still like to swaddle my DD at night sometimes, but the weather is also an issue for us...

Congrats on your new LO!

[creations]

Hello, I used Dr Harvey Karps 5 S's from day 1 to calm and sooth, and moved to a mixture of this and shush/pat at 4.5wks when I found BW and at the same time gently broke any feed to sleep habit that had formed in the first month.  Harvey Karps S's are similar to BW methods (but include rocking/swinging which can be gradually reduced later).  I wasn't exactly aiming to sleep train from the first day but wanted to sooth and help him sleep.
SIDs recommendations are to have LO sleeping in the same room as you so if your baby will settle in the lounge where you are with your DD I would certainly go for that option (we had background noise and it was not dark).  Mine refused to sleep in the living room after 10 weeks which really worried me as I then put him upstairs to sleep with a monitor so I could listen in, by this time he was falling to sleep independently so it only took 5 mins to wind down and put him down to sleep.
I would also recommend swaddling, perhaps a thin cotton sheet with just the nappy underneath?  I stopped swaddling at 10 weeks too as his night bed was a hammock which you shouldn't use a swaddle in.  If it is really too hot perhaps you can use a swaddle to initially help baby to sleep and then loosen it or take it off after falling to sleep?  The swaddle really helps with the jolts and you wouldn't get that if you took it off, but it is more important to be safe with temperature (also easier to check on when in the same room).

I didn't do this myself but I know others put their NBs to nap in the stroller. I had real problems getting mine to sleep in his after he became so used to sleeping in his bed at home and I kind of wished I'd retained the ability to fall asleep in one because it makes it easier to go out and about - esp with your other child needing to go out, you don't really want to all be 'trapped' at home for every nap yk?  At this age I don't think every prop or habit needs to be avoided or broken immediately, so maybe separate the feeding to sleep habit by having a few mins A between E and S but don't worry too much about using a stroller, sling or some rocking.

[ellenjess]

Thanks for your replies! It's quite reassuring to hear that not everyone starts bw by the book from day 1! I was quite surprised that ds didn't sleep in the car today while we were out and about -  I really do need him to be able to sleep in the car so I take the point about using props where needed.  He really does want to suck to sleep but had used his hands a couple of times which is great.  I think I will work on using different props to help him where needed and then look at reducing and using shush pat once he's a bit bigger. 

[creations]

Sounds like a good plan
With regards to sleeping in the car, it's different for you because you have 2 LOs and your timings and needs for going out will be different to mine, however, what worked really well for me was to try as much as I could to keep the days similar.  So in our case his first nap was always at home in his own bed, independently sleeping, whilst the second and third nap were in the car, one on the way out to somewhere and one of the way back.  What I found was the days I tried to do second nap at home (once or twice per week) were really hard to settle him, his habit was very much that the second nap should be in the car even though he could sleep independently for his first nap.  It's just worth making note that where ever you form a regular habit the chances are baby will go with it.  If you need to switch it around (bed, car, stroller etc) then try to do that on a regular basis.
Also, it's never too early to introduce a lovey. Your LO might not take to it, but worth it all the same as it becomes such a comfort to them and can help with sleeping in different places.  I used the lovey (a muslin, easily replaceable and washable) during A and E and wind down for S but never left him with it once asleep.  When he was older I left it with him. He still uses it now.

[ellenjess]

Thanks creations.  I keep meaning to give him a lovie .  I was planning on cutting up a muslin into 4 pieces so he isn't left with a large piece of cloth.

Dd 1 goes to nursery twice a week so there is opportunity to work on ds naps on his own schedule.  On the other days we are going to have to just rub along and hope for the best!

[creations]

I was planning on cutting up a muslin into 4 pieces so he isn't left with a large piece of cloth.

Oh yes I've heard people do this. Can i suggest sewing some ribbon like a label onto each quarter   They all seem to love the touch of the ribbon, mine has worn his labels out on a stack of muslins and really 'neeeeeeeeded' one with a label to go to sleep with so we had to sew on replacements   he loves them even more now!

[ellenjess]

Great idea!  Ribbon at the ready!  Ds has had 2 naps today without boob,  but I had to rock him a really long time.  He also zoned out looking at a black and white picture but cried eventually.  It does seem that with no help/prop at all he will cry.  I think I'm going to have to just go with it until I judge he us big enough to cope with a bit of patting.