4.5 month old waking every two hours

[Amummyhunt]

Hi,

When my baby was first born he was an angel and slept all the time and seemed to be able to self settle. Now we are at 4 1/2 months and everything has gone to pot. He is on the 4hr hr easy and pretty much sticks to the routine, but about 4 weeks ago he started waking every two hours at night. I use shush pat and pu/pd to get him back to sleep, which is usually effective, but I think the shush pat has become a bit of a prop now as he won't fall asleep unless I continue to do it until he is asleep. If I don't do this but stay with him he just starts screaming again. My husband and I are arguing because he does none of the putting to bed or NW, but he thinks what I'm doing doesn't work. He also says we should do CIO, but he wouldn't leave him for 5mins crying! He is exclusively BF and also uses a dummy. His routine is in general like this:

E 7.00
A till 8.45 wind down
S 9 (usually not much fuss and self settles. Wakes at 45mins but can extend with shush pat)
E 11
A till 12.30
S 12.45 (starts getting a bit fussier, needs shush pat. Again 45mins and can sometimes be extended)
E 3
A till 4.30/5 depending on previous naps
S 45 mins
A bath wind down till 6.30
E between 6.30 and 7
S in cot by 7 but fusses and needs pu/pd shush pat usually asleep by 7.30/8

NW Roughly
9.30 shush pat
11.00 feed
1.30 shush pat
2.30 shush
3.30 feed
5.30 shush pat (sometimes resettles himself)

Help I'm just shattered and need a few solid hours of sleep!!

[katie80]

Hi there and welcome to BW!

I'm sorry that your DH is encouraging you to CIO, esp as he doesn't do much of the work of putting your DS down. I'm assuming you know that Tracy was firmly against CIO and we don't condone it any way here. I'd be happy to give you some links on why it is not effective and how it can cause stress and loss of trust in your LO if you think that would help your DH see why it's not the best way.

As for the NWs, (((hugs))). It's rough to be awake that often at night. There are a couple things I think could be contributing. First of all is the shh/pat prop. It's great that shh/pat works for you, but obviously you don't want to have to so it every time he wakes. I'd start to very gradually reduce it, so that eventually your DS can calm on his own. What you want to do is stop the shh/pat once he calms and just keep a hand on him while he falls asleep. If he gets upset again, you can shh/pat til calm again, but then stop and just keep your hand on him. After a few days, you will stop a bit earlier, when you feel like he is starting to calm down. And continue this process until you can put him down without having to shh/pat much at all. It can take awhile as it is quite gradual, but it does work. A key is to use your voice to help him settle as well (a sleepy phrase that you can use forever, really) and that will help him focus on something else other than just the shh/pat.

As for your routine, it looks like you're pretty close to a really good one. I wonder if you push the second A time out to a full 2hr (nap at 1pm), he might start sleeping through it better for you. Another thought I had is that he may be getting hungry earlier in the later afternoon and that's the reason for less sleep and more fussiness. Not all EBF babies make a full 4hr EASY until they start on solids. So, you may want to try feeding a little earlier in the afternoon, around 3-3.5hr or cluster feed before or after the CN and then before bed. Do you think he's hungry at all?

[Amummyhunt]

Hi,

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure he is hungry as he settles very quickly and goes back to sleep, in about 10 to 15 mins, and doesn't try to get to the breast. He also doesnt seem that hungry at 3/4 am but I feed him because, by that time I am so shattered its the quickest way to get him back the sleep for a couple of hours, he always takes a full feed though. I will try cluster feeding tonight, also wondering if I should change the 11pm feed as he wakes up for this, to a 10.30 DF if I can. It almost seems as though after the night feed he doesn't go into a deep sleep and wakes at the 45 min cycle and can't resettle himself, like with his naps.

I've told DH that there is no way I am doing CIO, I don't agree with it and he seems to accept it now, he just thinks what I'm doing isn't working. It doesn't help that MIL try's to give (un)helpful advice like keep him up till 10pm so he will sleep!! It's not fun having to try and explain sleep studies etc and justify your actions :-(

[katie80]

Oh (((hugs))), it's so hard to get unhelpful advice like that.  Know that you are doing the right things to help him and with time and consistency he will prove you right!

He may not be hungry and that's fine. I would keep that 3/4am feeding though, as he does take as full feed and it gives you a break from resettling.  I think it's a good idea to try a DF at 10:30 rather than letting him wake at 11. Tracy firmly believed the DF should happen before 11pm or it could disrupt night sleep, so I think you have a very valid point there.

Keep up the good work, hon and keep me posted.