Getting rid of paci - 13 mo & doesn't use it for sleeping

[momtoelise]

*If this should be in a different area, feel free to move - wasn't sure where to post it.*

Our DS is 13 months and still using a pacifier during awake time.  He never has it when going down for naps/bedtime (didn't want it to become a prop for sleeping).  He's a pretty fussy baby, IMO, and often times having the paci is all that soothes him/makes him reasonable to be around.  Some days are worse than others, where he seems to need/want it more.  Our pedi told us at his 12 month check up that we should try to get rid of it, with 9-12 months being the ideal time.  I know it will get harder to get rid of as time goes on and he gets potentially more attached to it.  I also know as we move into the developmental stage of starting to make more sounds and talk, that the paci will not be good for that.  However....  I'm not sure how to get rid of it when he's so fussy all the time!    I tried going to the store without him having it yesterday - he fussed so much in the car and then was all out crying in the store. 

Our two older kids didn't have a paci at this point, yet one sucked on her fingers all the time and one sucked his thumb all the time.  DS (Isaac) doesn't do either of those - the paci is it for him.  He sleeps totally fine without it, so I'm very thankful for that.  I guess I'm just looking for advice on if I should try to get rid of it now (& any experiences anyone's had with babies finding other ways to soothe at this age?, how will I get thru days with his fussiness?!)...  Or, if I should just keep letting him have it, risking how attached he might become.  Any opinions on the best age to wean from this?

Thanks in advance for any help!!

[Erin M]

Does he have a lovey or something?  Wondering if he might use that to self-soothe instead. 
None of mine liked the paci, but I'm wondering if you "really" need to get rid of it -- I know lots of people who let their LOs have them until they were around 2 (though I do get the problems with speech development...)
If you are going to get rid of it, I'm guessing probably cold turkey would be the way to go -- he's too young to be interested in the paci fairy or anything like that...

[momtoelise]

He hasn't gotten too attached to any lovey, just a little to a blanket he sleeps with, but if I try handing that to him when he's upset, it doesn't help.     Maybe I just need to let him have it, even though it's not ideal...

[Erin M]

Maybe wait until he gets attached to something else? 

[momtoelise]

Maybe... that's a good thought!  (Hopefully he will! )

[TB9]

DD1 sucks her thumb and has a blankie.  We started limiting where she could bring her blankie (she only sucks her thumb with her blankie so we are basically limiting when she can suck her thumb).  So for example she can bring her blankie in the car, but not into the store with her.  TBH I think 13months is too young to start that, we took the blankie everywhere with us at that age because she was touchy and often needed soothing in busy public places.  I would say closer to 2years old you could probably start asking him to leave paci in the car or in his room when he is at home.

[Buttonbobs]

My DD is 21 months and still has a paci/dummy. Usually it's only for nap and BT but when she's been poorly or teething she asks for it in the daytime. When she was smaller I had all these "good" intentions like I won't let her have it when she's awake etc. usually she only has it out of the house when we're in the car, but this week she's had an awful cough and she asked for it all the way around town. She's uncomfortable with teething and this cough so I let her have it.

I have many friends who have weaned the dummy at about 2.5/3 years as by that age the LOs can understand an explanation that they are not going to have the dummy anymore and so something like give it to the dummy fairy.

My E is a big talker so when she talks to us we ask her to take her dummy out and she does repeat without it in and the dentist has confirmed she doesn't seem to have any teeth problems yet. I sucked my thumb until I was seven and definitely had teeth problems and a brace but I'm hoping E won't have to.

Do you think there's any chance he needs it for soothing some physical discomfort? Perhaps it's not worth worrying about it for now, or perhaps try limiting it to when you're at home or something as a start to reducing his use of it, he might become more attached to the lovey as you remove the dummy. But if you decide to let him have it don't feel bad about this, he's still so little.