Need help transitioning/winding down spirited LO for BT

[cath~]

If that's what they're offering I guess you'll have to try it and see how it goes.  Maybe the longer morning A time with override things a bit so he'll still be tired at BT.

L prob would have had no-nap days from around 2 but I was too scared so if she refused to nap I'd AP one a bit later in the buggy or if we were out in the car (she'd nod off then quite naturally).  However, she was being looked after by a nanny 4 days/week and would still go down for her naps beautifully for her   so we managed to keep naps on those days no trouble, just kept capping shorter.

I think she might have been about 2yr4mo when she had her first day without any nap, but on other days by that stage she was just having a v short catnap (15 mins I think).

I thought if we tried mixing nap and no-nap days I'd just never get a nap and never know when to do BT.  I preferred to keep the days consistent and it seemed to work better for L like that too.  But TBH from the nap-dropping thread I think it's more common to do a mixture of nap and NN days.  I guess you'll have to see how it goes.

Re the W2S I've never done it myself but when I asked about it once before for toddlers some mums said waking just a little (like you did) was enough but some others said they needed more 'vigorous' waking (e.g. a nappy change) for it to work.

[B J]

Yesterday he napped 12:45 - 2:20 at day care. Not sure if they woke him.  Wind down was ok.  We started later as it is always a struggle to get both of them up for a bath after dinner.  He didn't cry to go downstairs or protest when i put him in the crib.  But he popped up right away and wanted me and cried. I sat by the door and kept repeating the sleepy phrase.  It took 1h 15 min of crying before he lied down and went to sleep.  Towards the end he threw his dog out and then was upset over the dog, but I didn't give it back to him right away.  Finally I asked if he wanted his dog and told him not to throw it or mommy will take him.  Gave him back the dog and he lied down and fell asleep right away.

Surprisingly we didn't have any NWs last night!   Didn't hear a peep from him.  I did W2S at 3:45 again and he didn't wake at his usual time.  He only had a 9 hour night though!

If he does have NWs, should I just be using words to comfort him?  He may freak out though if I don't touch him.  If I rub his back, or hold his hand, I'm worried I'll become a prop.  Sometimes I've given in and picked him up and he falls back asleep with me holding him in the chair.  I don't want to do that anymore though as it will quickly become a bad habit.

[trinity33]

Hi BJ - thought i'd chip in as we sound like we're in the same boat at the moment

This went on for 50 min before I gave up and picked him up.  He fell asleep on the chair in his room.  I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by taking him out of the crib, but GW is tough with him as he won't stop crying.  But if I take him out of the crib, he'll think that if he keeps crying long enough I'll pick him up?

fwiw when DS is being like this, I cuddle him whilst he's standing in the crib....he's spirited too and PD just winds him up even further and makes the whole thing take longer - completely understand when you get to the point where you just want them to go to sleep by any means necessary. So, when DS is in one of these funks,  I kneel next to the crib and cuddle him with him standing up and nuzzling into me, doing the sleepy phrase, reminding him about the sleepy star on the gro clock etc and asking him to lie down. He will then flop down on the cot (sometime's it's more of a flounce lol) but then jumps straight back up......I keep doing this and the length of time he stays lying down for gradually increases until he hurumphs a bit and stays lying down. Dunno if any of this might help :-) hugs and good luck with the w2s.

[cath~]

that's great BT was better last night - well done for sticking with it!

and that the W2S seemed to help

It is common for LOs to get a bit OT when you're STing cos it can take them longer to settle so they have shorter nights.  I'd keep an eye on it and perhaps try EBT over the weekend if you get a chance/think you need to.

With the NWs I think ppl say to resettle in the same way you do at BT although with L when she wakes I always go to her and stroke her hair briefly before leaving again (we use WIWO if needed, but generally we just have to go to her once v briefly if/when she wakes now), so I think it would be OK for you to give him a quick contact in his cot and then do as you are doing at BT at the moment.

Hope tonight goes well x

[B J]

Thanks for the support trinity.  I think DS might like the cuddle, or he might get ticked off that I'm not picking him up!  I don't think he'll like back down though.  Once I start contact, he won't want it to stop!

Well tonight we had NO CRYING!!!  I was expecting the worst as we had family over for dinner, which isn't normal during the week, but BIL is in town visiting and it's his last night.  So the kids were hyper and had birthday cake too.  DS2 had an OT nap at day care today (1h 15) so I would have liked to get him to bed earlier but there was too much commotion.  He did eventually agree to go up and said goodbye to everyone.  Didn't put up too much of a fight about staying in his room, but did try to run off once and I had to carry him back in.  He didn't want books and was rolling around on the floor so I know he was tired.  Took a while to coax him to go in the crib.   He lied down but then sat up wanting his milk.  He finished his milk and then lied down.  He reached out wanting my hand a few times and whined a bit but fell asleep in less than 10 min.  So it went a lot better than I expected!

I need to wean the BT milk though.  He has milk in a cup with straw during WD but sometimes he takes a long time to drink it, or doesn't finish so we brush teeth, then he wants his milk.  Or he plays the milk game when he's in the crib, wants milk, doesn't want milk, wants me to go down and get more milk, etc.  But maybe when we get this sleep thing fixed it won't be as much of an issue.