Having a break down over 2 yos sleep. Please, please, please...any ideas?

[Mjaz]

I wrote about E's restless sleep a couple weeks ago.  Everything has just escalated.  I've never seen anything like it in my entire life,  I've never even heard of such a thing! 

It is currently taking E 1.5+ hours to fall asleep.  He screams, chants, cries, calls for us and laughs when we yell at him.  He isn't bed by7, but usually not asleep till 9.  Then he wakes all night, crying or calling for us, like "dadadadadada or mamamamama" over and over till someone comes to him.

I am literally crying every bed time bc I can't stand it.  I have a newborn and I'm exhausted.  Utterly exhausted.  And he's just making me an insane, angry mother.  To boot, he shares a room with his 4 yo brother who is ready for bed at 7 and is kept awake every night by this nonsense.

My pediatrician suggested spending a night in a hospital with him, to do a sleep study.  Not really feasible with a newborn.

Please, please, tell me what to try!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun, you've had a tough run with his sleep haven't you
Can you post his typical day? How many months is he? Did it just start recently or has is been going a while?
Honestly, if it's been ongoing - and I think it has been his sleep troubles Then maybe a sleep study is a good idea? DH could go with?

Have you ruled out pain? Xx

[Mjaz]

Wake: 6am
Nap: 12:30-2 (could go to 3, but I typically wake him)
BT: 7:30

He's almost 26 months a d this has been going on for about a month.  We just spent 10 days in the NICU with my daughter, so the thought of going to a hospital for a sleep study is the last thing in the world I want to do

[*Becky*]

Hi hun,
Just echoing what Katherine has said. My DD has a long morning am A time (about 6.5-7 hours) but she then only has 4-4.5 after it. I would try the earlier BT first or allow him a slightly longer nap. x

[HenaV]

I agree. My DD us also 26m and we have a long morning A and short PM
To bed. Our typical day looks like this;

WU: 6.15-6.30
Nap:1.15 (2h) if super tired 1pm (capped at 2.5h)
BT:7pm (asleep by 7.15-7.30)

Hth xx

[ZacsMumme]

I agree with all the ladies too Hun. Z was doing this at 26 mths
WU 7
Nap 1-2.30/3 - it may even have been 1.30 by this age)
BT 7 (or 7.30 if a really long nap )
He is VeRY active though so needs a good nap

I always found once Z was on 1 nap and over 16 mths that the easiest thing to try first and usually the most effective was to push the nap a touch later - before capping sleep etc. but your day is long, try aiming for 12-12.5 hr day or 10-11 hrs total A x

Hugs

[jessmum46]

***just reposting my post from earlier (before Becky's) as I accidentally managed to delete it ***

(((Hugs))), you must be shattered

Have you tried an earlier BT?  Often LOs who have 6/6.5h A pre-nap might only need 4/4.5h afterwards.  I'm wondering if he has a big second wind by bedtime and that's why he can't settle?  His routine above only allows for about 12h sleep in 24h if he goes to sleep straight away which is on the low side.....

The opposite end of the spectrum would be if he genuinely needs a long A time post-nap would he take his nap earlier to allow more A time before bed?

[Mjaz]

I feeling like I'm missing a post - from Katherine?  Yes. I agree.  He doesn't get enough sleep.  Today he passed out in the car at 10am.  I know he's exhausted.

We have tried a 1pm nap.  We have tried a 1:30 nap.  We have tried letting him sleep for 3 hours.  We have tried 6:30 BT and 8 BT.  It feels like nothing matters!

So today looked like this:

Wake: 6am
Nap: 1:30-2:30 (woke crying, but wouldn't go back) - very OT
BT: in bed at 6:30...45 minutes in and he's having a party in there - yelling, singing, etc

What do you suggest as an ideal EASY?  Maybe I need to just stick to it for a week?  1:30 nap?

Thank you...I so need this help right now!

[Mjaz]

Oh I see the post now!  Sorry...  He would definitely do an earlier nap.  That's what DH and I were contemplating - does he need a long A before bed?  Like 12-1:30?  Or even 11:30-1/1:30?  I wouldn't know ow he'd do till I tried.

[HenaV]

Hey hon,

If it were me, I'd do 12.30 nap uncapped until you're caught up
On the OT with normal BT and the push the nap
To 1pm.

Whatever you do decide to do, I'd stick with it for a week to see how it pans out iykwim?

[ZacsMumme]

Yup I agree with hena. The only time my ds1 ever did 1 hr naps once he was over 18 mths was OT or teeth. Quite rare for him but after a bug where he got very OT from coughing all night long for a week he did these 1 hr crying naps. I had to pull the nap forward 1 hr and leave him to sleep with same BT for a few days ... Hope it works x

[Mjaz]

I agree!  Haha, here's the catch - that IS what we've been doing for 3 weeks!  Set nap at 12:30 - let him sleep as long as he wants, set BT at 7/7:30 (depending on nap).

It just isn't working.

He fell asleep again at 10am in the car, so I transferred him and let him sleep.  He slept till 1:15.  Did BT at 7 and it *only* took 45 minutes and was pretty call for him.  He was more quiet and actually trying to fall asleep tonight.  So either the 3 hours caught him up a bit or he really does need a long A time before bed?

What should I try? 

Thank you!
Melinda

[HenaV]

I think tbh you're the best person to judge that, you know him best. I would pick an approach a d try it for 1week at least and see what happens

H

[jessmum46]

Just a quick q - is he just 2 or closer to 3?

[HenaV]

Almost 26m I remember correctly