RAARRR!! Entering the fussy phase

[anna*]

Audrey has been THE BEST eater and now she is discovering the power of 'don't yike it.' 'Yike it... yike it... yike it...' she says as she picks bits of (whatever) out of her bowl and puts them on the table. Then eats two mouthfuls and pushes her bowl away with a big scowl/pout saying 'YOGHURT mummy.'

Is she too young to say 'supper first, then yoghurt/banana/whatever'? I feel like she will totally reject a main meal, push it away entirely, and hold out for yoghurt, if she feels like it's going to come either way. Do I just serve the meal and ignore how much she eats, and then serve dessert (plain yoghurt, fruit, 1-2x per week a biscuit or a 'proper' pudding like rice pudding, ice-cream or steamed cake & custard).

I feel like she gets too many snacks. I know her childminder feeds her constantly, but she eats her meals well there. But not hungry at all when she gets home. But even on days I have her, for example, Stan really NEEDS a snack when I pick him up from school, but there's no way I can give him a snack and not Audrey. Also she learns this 'yucky' behaviour from Stan - we're working on it, but when she sees him make faces and push his plate away, she just does the same.

Anyway, just a RRAAARR of frustration. I want my good greens-eatin' girl back!

[cath~]

Do I just serve the meal and ignore how much she eats, and then serve dessert (plain yoghurt, fruit, 1-2x per week a biscuit or a 'proper' pudding like rice pudding, ice-cream or steamed cake & custard).

That's what I'd do. And also stick to healthy puddings only during this phase.

You might do already , but I'd make her wait for her dessert too until you're ready to serve it (ie when others/S have/has finished their supper too).

[anna*]

You might do already , but I'd make her wait for her dessert too until you're ready to serve it (ie when others/S have/has finished their supper too).

Thanks Cath. Try to do this - she can be SO disruptive. Little madam. She's discovered she can kick Stan under the table now so that is the latest. Or try and put her discarded bits of food on someone else's plate. Or pouring her drink into her plate and splashing it around. She's really just trying to get a rise out of us.

[Lolly]

If she has eaten well (or just a lot ) during the day with the childminer is it that she really is just not hungry? I know DD went through this stage, refusing meals, being a total pain at the table etc, etc and looking back there were days when she had eaten really well through the day and was probably just too tired to be bothered to eat anyway.

It's hard though when you have taken the trouble to cook nice meals that in theory they like!!

Laura

[cath~]

If she has eaten well (or just a lot ) during the day with the childminer is it that she really is just not hungry?

have you tried giving a smaller serving, so it might look more manageable to her if she's not that hungry (and keep some in the kitchen just in case she asks for more)?  Is she any hungrier on non-CM days?

You might do already , but I'd make her wait for her dessert too until you're ready to serve it (ie when others/S have/has finished their supper too).

Thanks Cath. Try to do this - she can be SO disruptive. Little madam. She's discovered she can kick Stan under the table now so that is the latest. Or try and put her discarded bits of food on someone else's plate. Or pouring her drink into her plate and splashing it around. She's really just trying to get a rise out of us.

ugh - that makes it tricky then!  would you be happy to let her draw or look at a book while she waits (having removed her plate and drink first just in case...)?  Of course, you don't have to make her wait.  I think that's what I'd 'aim' to do but only having one LO at the moment that's easy for me to say!  If it was too much of a struggle then I'd prob just get pudding out and move on.  No point adding 'unnecessary' struggles to your day! Just depends what you're happy with for your family doesn't it.

[clazzat]

We have similar - once x sees his yoghurt then there is no way that he will finish what he has, no matter how much he likes it. I have only really found that it is in the last month or so that he has started to understand the idea of "first this, then that", and even so it is a fairly shaky understanding, so I'm not sure that a is quite old enough to get the concept. How would she be if she got her yoghurt first? Would that stop her eating anything else, or might it mean that she has had the bit that she wants and therefore will be happier to tuck into the rest of it?

As for the disruptive behaviour, that is up to you, but when x does the same things (kicking under the table, pouring water into his plate) I tell him that if he does that then he gets down from the table and there will be no yoghurt. I have had to get him down a couple of times, but it does seem to be sinking in that he loses out if he does those things. If you are not prepared to get her down completely, then you could just pull her chair away from the table if she is kicking stan until she gets her yoghurt and take way any plate that she pours water into - no warnings, just "that is not acceptable".

Fundamentally, though, they all work out that they have power over what they eat at some point (x, pulling noodles out of his mouth last night: "is dusting (disgusting)!) and that always brings hiccups. If you don't make a big issue out of it then it will blow over. She is getting plenty of food, and can probably afford to go without a couple of meals while you establish the ground rules.

[weaver]

LO1, who is a huge food fan, did have a phase of not being ready for dinner after the CM's.  It drove me batty - that I'd be out all day, pick him up, put all my energy into making a 'good dinner' and he just wouldn't eat it.  He was simply too full from the CMs. She insisted on giving him a cooked tea (eg scrambled egg and a mountain of toast) just as I was turning up to collect him.  So his dinner was sabotaged.  I had to have a word, repeatedly, because she was just so attached to the idea of feeding him.  Bah!

My philosophy with meal times is to be as unflappable as humanly possible and just proceed as though nothing strange is happening, so, as pps said, serve dinner, eat dinner, serve afters, at your rhythm. I've been trying to apply this at the moment to LO2 who is vastly amused by standing up in her high chair and ends up spending most meal times pottering about the floor because she will not sit down.  That's the last thing I want but I'm not going to turn mealtime into a debating society.  Would something like that work with Audrey - she gets down and then comes back for dessert?  Then there's the old 'no dinner, no dessert' chestnut but I sense you don't want to go down that path...

[anna*]

Yeh she's definitely worse on childminder days, but it's every day, really. I'd like to try the idea of doing yoghurt first - but in reality it won't fly because Stan wouldn't stand for it.

[clazzat]

Stan could have his first too, couldn't he?

[anna*]

I don't think he'd eat his tea then.

[amayzie]

yeah- hamish will often nt eat much of the main- i think he's just not hungry! Again- usually on days wen he's been with mum and eaten more (i clearly dont feed him ) I also just offer fruit after the meal (he has yoghurt earlier in the day) It's hard finding the balance i find...