Demoralised - nearly gave up EASY/BW today (13 week old)

[KookyK]

Tell me babies get it eventually and it gets easier!

I've had some great support here ESP from Brummum so after feeling low and nearly throwing in the towel I have had a word with myself and ill keep trying

I'm scared DS will be as bad as my DD was at sleep (multiple NWs until 13 months, didnt regularly STTN til 16 months...).

However hard I try DS will only catnap unless I'm out with buggy and even then its no guarantee. I spend my whole day trying to make/extend naps or trying to cheer up an OT baby. I can't crack the cycle! Plus I'm knackered cos the bedtimes and nights aren't great either.

He was resettling in the cot sometimes with hand on his tummy and eyes covered and shhing (doesnt like shh pat) but now doesn't. I have to pick him up once he gets upset and shh or feed him or no sleep will happen!

We wake up 7.15
Only reliable naps are 8.45 (til 9.30 maybe 10 if I can re dummy)
2.30 til 3.30 maybe 4.
In between and after I watch for tired cues (max 1 hr 30 maybe before) and he takes 20-40 min catnaps.

He had started to go to bed around 7-7.30 taking up to 40 mins and several wakings to resettle but now wakes so many times eventually he seems re energised and I have to eat my now cold dinner so he has been getting up til 8.30-9 when I go to bed with him.

Nights tend to wake 1.30, 4.30 then on/off wakings til morning.

This is more of an outpouring than anything else. Feel free to ignore me!!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hugs honey, feel free to vent. Babies are hard work!

What exactly would you like help with? Can you post your day in EASY format?

I'm wondering if sleeping with him isn't helping...

[KookyK]

Thanks MJ&N.

I sleep in same room as him but not the same bed - he has a bedside cot IYKWIM?  But I do end up going to sleep near him at the same time quite often. The difference is the room is darker as I shut the door when I come to bed but when it's him alone the door makes a funny noise on the carpet if I have to resettle him and wakes him up more. Tho perhaps I shd try shutting the door anyway at bedtime.

Last night was actually the worst night in ages.
Yday his day went like this

A 7.40
S 9.30-10.15
S 12.30-1.20
S 2.15-2.40
S 3-5
Bed 6.50 and stayed there with several resettles in the first hour.
Fed 1am, 4am then unsettled thereafter and on/off asleep and awake til 7am.


I aim for
A 7.15
S 8.45- whenever he can (usually 1 hr sometimes up to 1.5 hrs )
S depending on last nap about 1.5 hrs later or sooner if tired. So roughly 11.30. I never succeed in getting this nap longer than an hour but I try! Usually give up about 1pm.
S school run 2.30 (if v tired I put him in car seat early or go for a longer route). Aim to sleep til 4/4.30 but often more like 3.30/3.45
S aim for a catnap between 5 and 6. Sometimes he won't settle and I have DD to sort so he may have to do without.
Bed usually after DD about 7.15. Often wakes after 45 mins and if I can't resettle he gets up until I have had dinner and I go to bed with him.
Night wakings - usually 1 or 2am, 4 or 5am. After that he's often restless and I plug his dummy a few times and have my hand on his tummy so he sleeps on/off til morning.

I can't break his OT cycle! I'm doing as suggested by another lvely poster here and letting him sleep on on the morning nap if he's had a bad night. But rarely does he go on beyond 1-1.5 hrs.

Next week apart from Monday I plan to stay in bar school runs and do LTN in buggy to get longer ones and try to set routine better.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Ok, so it sounds like you are doing all you can to get him to sleep, and he's just not co-operating - right??

I wonder if the naps that he struggles with could be in a sling, just to get more sleep into him. Would that be something to try?

I remember my little guy being very unsettled in the early mornings too, for a while. he grew out of it but this is the time that I handed over to DH as I was just too tired to manage after feeding in the night too. Can you get any help?

There is a balance to strike, for both of you. Yes an OT baby is not nice to deal with, but staying home all the time so that he can get some sleep is not good for you either. When you are up to it, taking him out and letting him sleep in the buggy for some of those day naps is not going to do him major harm (may even catch him up?) but may be good for your mental health.

Take care of yourself too (the old oxygen mask thing!).

[KookyK]

Thanks MJ&N

I haven't found a sling he loves yet. He tolerates a wrap but is nosy!

I think the dummy is a bit of a prop but I'm too tired to deal with it! Will tackle at sine point...

[KookyK]

OMG he did a 1.5 hour IN HIS COT today!!! Only redummied at 10 mins. Wow!!!

Last night a bit better. Altho he wouldn't stay asleep at bedtime he went down at 9pm waking 1am and 5am (bit on/off for an hour the slept 6-7am).

Today hmm what's different? First thing he napped only 45 mins. Both naps were after awake time 1 hr 45-50. Maybe a longer awake time helps. Also yday his naps werent bad so he perhaps started less OT than usual.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Good progress! Maybe those longer activity times are something to aim for then?