A times and 5week old

[3littlemen]

I know better this time round (BW DS3) that A times are guidelines and to follow the pattern rather than the time frames.

 I've been trying to follow his cues but perhaps I've been putting down to late. I give him a good 20min wind down, swaddled, dummy etc in his quiet room (away from his two big brothers) but always seem to end up having crying spells and unsettled naps. THe backpack seems most successful. Once asleep at night, he's no dramas with a few night feeds (BF) and maybe the odd grumping spell I associate to either wind or lack of daytime sleep.

However, I was wondering, is it possible that at 5 weeks he'd be happy with 30-45min a rather than 1hr+? The reason I ask, today after a first morning backpack nap, I fed and he was falling asleep... so I woke him with a nappy change and put him down for (a little grizzle) but 1hr+ nap all by himself.  I fed at 2hr30 cos he seemed hungry but then after a nappy change, I just felt like he could go again so down he went and he's slept for 1hr45 or so. it's also been a pretty nice day in terms of his siblings not being *right up in his face when he's awake* either...

What do you think? I got hardly any at all crying putting him in early - could he have been OT'd???

[jessmum46]

Could you post his whole routine for us?  I'm just wondering if he gets a fairly short night (not unusual at all at this age) whether he can't handle long A times in the morning.  In a sense those first two wakings of the day are almost still night wakings, if you see what I mean?  His behaviour does sound OT and it sounds like you've done a great job of recognising his cues

My feeling would be just go with it for now.  If short A times are all he wants, then as long as it doesn't impact on his ability to settle and sleep well at night it's fine. 

[3littlemen]

Well here's what I've got (I can honestly say that besides eating every 2.5-3hrs that there isn't a real schedule as such).
last night
E6pm
S6.30pm
DF 9.30
E12.3am settled good
E3.15am or so settled ok, then started making grumpy noises (kinda like hunger but not like ot)
still going I think at 4.45am offered bm but just went to sleep on it
still murmuring and Awake (hadn't checked before) at 5.45am
E5.45am trying to go to sleep nappy change etc
S 6.35am - 7am (awake
in backpack
S 8-8.30am
and now hungry

that's the early morning pattern for the last two days give or take times....
I'll keep abetter eye on the day and post later.

[jessmum46]

LOL I wouldn't expect much of a schedule at 5 weeks - you're doing fab!

I notice he's fairly unsettled at night - do you get a good burp out of him after feeds?  Does he show any signs of reflux?  What about oversupply/over active letdown for yourself?

[3littlemen]

I do have a very good let down, in fact a good feed is usually 10m on L side and 15m on R absolute tops... I pumped once at 2weeks and got 80ml in 5m so I'm not worried about my milk. He definitely was windy for those few nights though...
I'm managing to get some naps self settled in his cot, at least one a day, and he does nap well in the backpack (I have a4yo and a 2yo boy to keep occupied as well). Yesterday went like this sort of
E 7.30
2 30m naps of sorts in backpack (couldn't settle in cot)
E10
S 11-1.30 (I let him go longer to make up for morning session)
E 1.30
S 2.45-3.15 resettled-3.45
E 4
backpack sleep until I woke him for bath at 5.30
E6
S7
Df 9.30
up around midnight
again around 3 or so
couldn't resettle at 5  managed to get him a short nap on my bed for 15m
declared the start of the day at 6.30

the df hasn't changed time since I had it started around 2-3weeks ago. I can't say it's as good as feed as a day feed but it is better than the rest of the night feeds. The other nfs he seems to suck and then fall asleep and I cannot wake him to go again so I don't know if he's waking later hungry or just snaking.
 My questions are -
The time between each nw varies night to night which makes me think hunger, but why not a full feed?
Also that first night waking is dropping closer and closer to the df... should I drop the cluster feed or the df?
The clusters aren't a big feed like a middle of the day one either. Also the morning feed, such as today at 6.30 is pretty ordinary which I take it is because I offered bf at 5....I did try and offer dummy throughout night and only when he let out a cry - not a noise - and I only offered bf on cry not noise too.
Do you think it's a prop the bf, and should I make a better effort to not offer and hold him out? I was trying to hold him off to as close to 3hrs as possible but it didn't really work iykwim?

[jessmum46]

At this age I'd be surprised if the bf is a prop, usually it's a bit closer to 3-4 months that prop issues start to show themselves.  I'd generally advise to treat NWs at this age as hunger until proven otherwise, and 2.5-3h between feeds really isn't unreasonable at just over a month old.  If he wakes really soon after a feed (as in within a couple of hours) you could try to settle with the paci as you suggested - he won't settle if it's genuine hunger.  The only other possibility is discomfort.....have you got any sense there is something bothering him? 

Your question about the cluster/DF - I can't quite see where your cluster feeds are - is there another feed at BT you didn't include?