6 week old only sleeps 20min at a time!!! Please help

[Fefekabob]

Hi everyone,

I'm starting to get worried about my DS2. He is 6 weeks old and in the past 3 days has only slept in 20min intervals. I have been working really hard to get him to sleep on his own. he's been pretty good at putting himself to sleep most of the time... Especially at night. He will drink, diaper change and he's in his bed with eyes slightly open but then falls asleep on his own. During the day, it can take two hours just to get him sleepy eyed. His eyes sometimes close but then bolt open a few seconds later and he is alert and looking around again.

What I'm noticing is that he bolts awake after 20 min and then he is awake for 4-5 min, then the cycle repeats over and over again. He never enters deep sleep. I know he is OT. He yawns about 20 times per hour. Weve even been trying to APOP him to sleep, but he still jolts every 20 min in my arms and wakes himself up.

BTW, he is always swaddled for sleep (and hates it)

How do I get over this?!! We are going crazy trying to get him to sleep!!

[snowbird]

Hi, don't want to read without posting, but been 2 years, 7 months since I was there. Not sure I can remember enough to help...

First thoughts though - are you using shush pat to help LO get through those jolts?

Is the room quiet, dark etc for naps? Have you for any sort of sleep music you could use as a cue and also to help him get a bit sleepy? I did a hypnotherapy cd during pregnancy and still use that music now to help my LO to settle. Used it all the time when she was a baby, but now only if needed, e.g. Cover up sound of fireworks in Nov.

OT could be s problem and APOP might help to give him a good sleep and go from there.

Xxx

[meltown]

a couple questions, what is your morning routine like?  are you breastfeeding or bottle feeling?  how long does it take your little one to eat?  Are you swaddling?

do you have a wrap or will your LO sleep in a swing?  any kid of AP that works for him?

[Fefekabob]

Hi,

Our routine is usually
E- 6:00
S- 6:45/7 till 9 before all this started
And it repeats till the evening... He doesn't really cluster feed. He goes by a 2.5/3 hour feeding schedule and doesn't like it any other way. He has a NF at 11 and 3.

Well I have tried shush pat and it works a handful of times. During the day the room is dark, otherwise he will look all over the place and get even more wired!

I feel like OT has gone full force and we can't get him to fully relax.  I also think that there may be some sort of discomfort from the Iron supplements I take. I have anemia and am taking 150mg Iron. It causes pretty bad constipation when I'm on it... But everything I read online and our doctors say it's fine for a breastfed baby. I don't know, I'm just hoping for this to pass soon.

[Fefekabob]

Oh, and although he kept having wakeups every 20 min... I did let him have an hour nap in my arms in the early evening just to catch up on sleep. Then he fed and I put him straight to bed. Had a better night but still seems to be uncomfortable

[meltown]

does your DS take 45 minutes to eat? 

I think there is a lot of OTness going on here.  If he will sleep any way I would do it for a couple naps to get him better rested.  Then I would play a little bit with his awake time.   are you swaddling him for naps?  Usually babies who are waking at the 20 minute mark aren't getting through the jerk phase into a deep sleep.  Are you staying with him until he gets past that part?  Som babies need that for a bit until they learn to get through it themselves.

[Fefekabob]

I think it's two things:

1. Really bad gas because he grunts and makes noises, draws his legs up and cries during feedings, and had lots of explosive poops and farts.

2. Am I leaving him too early?

When it's time to put him to sleep, I swaddle him and walk around the house until he gets that sleepy look. I wait a little passed the 7 mile stare and put him down right when his eyes close sometimes a few seconds after. I have tried putting him down before that point... Sometimes he sleeps sometimes he bolts awake and cries. Sometimes he fusses for 5 minutes but will settle himself. But now that he is in an OT loop, he definitely can't self settle.

I hear so many people say they started EASY from day 1 and they put their baby to bed awake. I'm trying, but is he still too young? Do I wait for him to go past 20 min jolt to put him down? I really want him to sleep independently.

What am I doing wrong?

[meltown]

you don't have to hold him until he jolts, sorry I didn't make that clear.  I mean just stay with him in his room until he gets past that jolt.  You should only have to do this for about the first week or so. 

It is nothing you did wrong.  I want to make sure you know that.  Some babies just need more help to get through that.  of my 4, 2 of them needed us to be with them for the first part of their naps for the first week or so.  It is just part of their bio rhythm.  They wake up a bit when that jolt happens and need you there to do shh/pat to teach them to get through it. 

You may have to do it again if he has a shorter nap or a late start to his nap.  Babies that do this 20 min wake up usually need help to get through it when they are OT. 

But to get him out of this OT thing, you need to give yourself permission to do AP at least a nap or 2 a day.  You can't really teach them to be independent while he is doing this. 

But you are doing great on the routine.  Keep that up and get him through that jolt and I think you will have more success with the naps.

[Fefekabob]

Thanks for your help, meltown. I think the hard part of all this that i have failed to mention, is having my 22 month old son running around and desperately seeking my attention. I just don't know how to stay in the room with DS2 and get him through the jolts, while keeping my 22 month old quiet and busy (without resorting to tv).

I am also really struggling with the shush pat because he absolutely hates when I put him on his side when he's swaddled. He desperately tries to break free from it and pushes so hard to get out that he gets red in the face and strains his voice and neck to the point that he coughs. The patting doesn't seem to work, and the shush just makes me lose consciousness!! LOL

At what age do you think it's realistic to have him fall asleep, eyes open, without the need for my interventions.

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

My dd2 hates being patted so I put my hand on her shoulder. And I don't shhhh, I have a really loud white noise machine that does that for me .

[taylorsmummy]

Massive hugs to you. My LO is 10 months but it feels like I was were you are only yesterday. My DD went to sleep like a dream so I hoped number 2 would be the same, but no such luck at the start. He too went to sleep no problems throughout the night but the day was horrible and with 2 yr 5 mth old
Dd racing around...argh
Like someone else has mentioned some naps (where possible, like dad home) I would hold him through some sleeps to let him catch up but then his other sleeps I just always kept to the same routine and always attempted to put him down awake. Would really listen to his cries too as sometime it was more whinging and if I left him for a little bit he would drift off. If really crying I would go in. This would often result in re swaddling him and then placing him on his side and shush patting and quite often he would prefer to sleep this way, even though we know back is best, I went with him. I can't tell you much else than that really, it did come right but I think a switch flicked at bang on 3 months and he has been an awesome sleeper since, probably a better day sleeper in the end than my DD.

It is so nothing you are doing wrong! Be kind to yourself. I bet myself up about getting it right way too much, esp as it had been so much easier with number 1. If they are sleeping well at night and self settling we know they can do it, but when so young we just need to help them a little through the day. No crying over the cot like I did whilst also trying to shush/pat, wish I had not beaten myself up so much!

Good luck

[Fefekabob]

Thanks everyone for all your support. I am taking him to the pediatrician today though. I'm beginning to think he has really bad reflux or he's not responding well to my milk. Because I pump exclusively I am able to see the contents of my milk in the bottle. I'm noticing that in a 8oz bottle, about 3oz are the blueish foremilk. I'm wondering if that's too much...

I'll let you all know how the appt goes today. Hopefully I get some answers...

[Fefekabob]

WOW! So, the doctor said it was reflux... We gave him Zantac... Our happy baby is back!!

Unbelievable!!

He is not in pain anymore and is sleeping perfectly fine again. He absolutely remembers how to fall asleep on his own. He just wanted to be in our arms because we held him upright (easing the pain)

I am so thankful that he is free of all that discomfort. He took a nice long 2 hour nap in the afternoon after the meds, falling asleep on his own. And he just did a 4.5 hour stretch tonight. YAY!! I can't believe how instantaneously it worked. Here's hoping this lasts...

[taylorsmummy]

Wow fantastic. Hope it continues

[meltown]

YAY!!!!  So glad he is back.  That pain does make a big difference.  Hope it continues! 

We have a long history of reflux and when I was reading about him squirming and arching his back and all that when you turned him on his side, I was wondering if there was a pain thing going on like that.  As he gets older be sure you watch for this type of behavior even mildly because the dosage of Zantac is very weight sensitive. 

Also, it may be up and down over the next couple days as the zantac builds up in his system, so don't be discouraged if it gets bad for a day or 2.  Remember to let yourself have some grace.  it is ok to AP.  And it is ok if you have off days or days your older one is needing more attention or help.  That is part of the give and take relationship of a family which is really the heart of the baby whisperer techniques.

And as for what the older LO can do while you sleep train.  We made boxes that were just for while I was putting DD1 down.  So they would only get to play with those toys while I was working with the LO and that kept them fun.  You could put anything in them that they could do independently and that would keep their attention.