13 week old having problems with 45 min naps...

[Vavis6]

Hi, everyone.
I have a 3 year old who was so easy to train to sleep. I was swearing by these techniques until my new baby came home. My 11 week old have been in EASY for almost 8 weeks now and I can't get him to sleep more than 35-45 min naps. I'm having serious problems at night too. Please give me some advise, I' m desperate.... I' m going back to work in tree weeks...and I feel my time is running out to help him how to sleep.

His EASY routine will look like this on a regular basis:
E: 7:00
A: 7:30/7:45
S: 8:15/8:30

E: 10:00
A: 10:30
S: 11:15/11:30

E: 1:00
A: 1:30
S:2:15/2:30

E: 4:00
A: 4:30
S: 5:30 to 6:00

E: 6:30
A: bath/ sleep ritual
S: 7:30

S:10:30/ 11:00 dream feed.

I don't even know where to start....
His naps won't last more than 45 min on the clock, I have been paying close attention to overstimulation for the last week. He loves his baby gym for the activity time, but since he is having so much problems at night and to stay asleep on his naps that I just talk to him or eventually putting him on his baby bouncer, but with just one toy at a time hanging and no motion at all. But i don't see any improvements at all nor at nap time nor at night time.

I swaddle him, I use white noise, and No matter how low Estimulation I keep it for the last 15 Min's before nap time he will wake up at 45 min mark. I have been sneaking into his crib 10min before his sleep cycle ends and slowly start playing with the volume of the white noise, and surprisingly he will stay asleep for longer periods but not going back to full deep sleep, he will remain in the REM sleep. My concern here is that he loves the white noise very very loud.... To really keep him from awakening, and second I don't want to create a prop here.

2 out 5 times he still needs a little help when I put him on his crib, but he is getting better and better to sleep by himself.

My night life looks like this:
Around one hour after his night feed he will start his wakening. And he will remain like this every hour to two hours intervals during the rest of the night . I try to feed him no less that 4:30 am. I have ruled out hunger because he won't eat a full bottle, we will take just 2-3 oz. i forgot to mention that his is on reflux medication.

Does anyone has a successfully story with something like this?? Please any kind of advise or comment Will be very appreciated!!!!

Thank you.

[Emami]

Hi and welcome!  First thing I just want to check is whether his reflux meds are working?  If he is in pain then he is not going to sleep well. But assuming that's not an issue then I have some other thoughts.

Re the white noise - I say use it!  You've already found that it helps him sleep longer and, although it may become a prop, I personally don't see it as a problem.  It's not like rocking or feeding to sleep where you have to be present and the baby can't resettle by themselves.  I have used white noise for DD since she was tiny and still do at 28months.  She is a great independent sleeper and it has never been an issue.  When we travel we use white noise on a phone app so it is portable, and I actually think it helps when we aren't at home that it blocks out unfamiliar sounds and she doesn't have any trouble settling in strange places.  It's a strong sleep cue for her, but a couple of times it has cut out in the night and she doesn't wake up.

As far as the 45min naps - this can often be an UT nap length but I think for your son it might actually be OT.  He's not even 3 months old yet so is pretty much still a newborn and I wouldn't expect too much yet outside of eat, burp, change, talk a bit, back to sleep.  His first A time looks like it is sometimes 1hr30 sometimes 1hr15?  I would make sure you keep it at 1hr15 max, which includes everything from eyes open to eyes closed.  So I would put him down around the hour mark and allow 15mins or so for him to fall asleep.  After that first nap he is doing some pretty long A times after short sleeps so I think he is getting OT and that could be contributing to his bad nights.  Even after a full nap he likely wouldn't want to be awake for more than about 1hr15, but he is doing more than 2hrs.  At this age I wouldn't be worrying about a perfect EASY - just put him down more frequently and keep the E and S separate and I think that's about as much as you can expect from him at the moment.

I hope some of that helps.  I had to go back to work when my DD was 8 weeks old so I do understand.  Hugs, it is hard and a lot of pressure.

[Vavis6]

Thank you so much for your reply. Its been now 2 weeks since my post and this is where I am now!!!! He was in medication for his reflux, so I thought his pain/dis confort was under control.... But after your post I decided to go back to the pediatrician.... And yes, it was his reflux who didn't let him rest peacefully at night. Now he is 13 weeks and sleeping all night long, even today I had to wake him up at 7!!!!!! Wohoooo, my baby is now pain free and we both are catching up in sleep.

He is still having a lot of issues with his 45 min naps.... I hope this is just a stage and he will outgrow it soon, because he definitely needs more than that, he will be very fussy with just a short nap.

I have another question and any comment or advice will be great. I have read that some of the signs to move baby into a 4 hr schedule, is 45 min naps, and not very hungry at 3 hr routine. I know Tracy advices to have baby in a 4 hr routine when they are 4 months, but he is just 3 months.... This might help with the 45 min intruder.... I am hesitant to start doing any change since he is maybe to young for this, even thought I sure he won't have a problem eating every 4 hrs, not so sure about a longer activity time.
He started part time daycare today, and he definitely didn't sleep well there, now he is in his third nap now and woke up at the 45 min nap, but he never opened his eyes, just fussing and wanting to cry, but never scaleted until he went back to sleep on his own.... Any thoughts here?

I apologize for any grammatical mistake, English is not my first language but I try my best .

So gratefull with your post, you made me think about his reflux twice and decided to go back to the doc!!!

[Emami]

I'm so glad his reflux is sorted, yay!  .

The 45min naps could be routine related, what does his day look like now?  Did you try reducing A times a bit or do you think he does better with them being longer?  They might be developmental though, the early months are prime short napping age.  But let's take a look at his EASY and see if anything jumps out.

Is he BF or FF?  If he is BF I doubt he would be ready to be on a 4hr routine because breast milk is digested quickly and BF babies often can't make it that long until they are on solids.  If he is FF it is more likely he could start moving towards a 4hr EASY.  I know my DD could go 4hrs between feeds at 3 months but we had the 45 min naps too and it took a while for sleep to catch up and we were able to get into a good routine.

Hugs for the first day at daycare, that must have been hard.  It sounds like he did great though!  Fussing but not escalating sounds like his mantra cry, and the fact that he put himself back to sleep on his own in a new place is fantastic!  Sounds like he is learning to self soothe, so hopefully you will start to see more of that and he'll be able to get past the 45mins and into another sleep cycle for a nice long nap 

[Emami]

Also, your English is great!