Desperately needing help with daytime naps for 7-week-old

[SLS]

Over the past two weeks, my seven-week-old son has started having a progressively harder time going to sleep during the day.  We've tried to use the EASY schedule as soon as we brought him home from the hospital, and at the outset, he slept relatively well and quickly during the day.  Now, he seems to have a lot of trouble sleeping during the late morning and early and mid afternoon intervals (10 am, 1 pm, and 4 pm).  He is about to start a shared nanny arrangement (with a toddler) in a couple of weeks and I'm worried that I won't have a good way for him to self-soothe before he enters an unfamiliar environment; I'm also anxious that his nighttime sleep will be affected.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

[jessmum46]

First of all (((hugs))), and congratulations on your new LO

As hard as it is, I would try very much to focus on enjoying these next couple of weeks with your LO at home rather than worrying about what will happen once he starts with the nanny.  He is so, so tiny still, honestly true independent sleep probably isn't even possible at this stage.  And if you try I think it's likely that the next two weeks instead of being fun will become stressful and exhausting - not what you need.  If the nanny is going to be looking after him several days a week she will need to find her own ways of helping him to settle and soothe himself as he grows and develops - and it's perfectly possible for LOs to learn different ways of sleeping in different contexts.  My LO is older but she will be rocked or have her back rubbed to sleep at nursery, whereas she is a totally independent sleeper at home.  If you want the nanny to avoid particular things e.g. bottle to sleep then that's something worth discussing, but in terms of environment and sleep associations then at this point LO will not be set on particular routines/associations so is at a great age to learn to settle in a new situation.

How are you trying to settle LO at the moment at home?  Have you tried shh pat?  I'd maybe try one nap a day in the crib if you are really keen to start some independent sleep habits, using shh pat if needed, but just take the other naps whenever and however for now.  At 7 weeks DD was rocked, held, bounced, pushed in the pram or in the car for all naps - I don't honestly believe these things become fixed as props until a bit later on - and they are not hard to tackle with a bit of consistency once LO is a bit older.  It's all about survival and getting to know your new arrival in the early weeks

Hope that helps a bit, or at least provides some reassurance.

[SLS]

Thank you so, so much for your reassuring message and sorry I'm only replying now -- I'm continually amazed by how little I manage to get done each day. DS has been settling down for naps with a pacifier if he seems to need one -- otherwise, we just put him down and shush -- and has actually been in his crib for about a week.  In fact, we're trying to figure out how to transition him back to the bassinet for daytime in preparation for moving to the nanny -- so it's really good to hear your DD was so flexible and I hope my LO will be the same way.  Your message inspired me to think about what I really want to spend my time doing with DS over the next two weeks and we have been snuggling more without feeling like we're throwing all our routines out the window.

At the same time, I do have to admit we are struggling with how to do nighttime feedings.  We do a substantial dream feed (bf plus extra expressed milk) at 7-7:30 which takes him until 2:30, but lately he has been waking at 6 very hungry, so we're trying to decide whether to persist with a single nighttime feeding or move back to two, and if the latter, how to do it without inadvertently switching days and nights for him.  Our LO was born two weeks early and was under six pounds at birth; he's gained considerable weight and is now almost ten pounds, but I know it will be a while before we can do actual sleep training.  Again, I would be grateful for any advice!!

[weaver]

I totally agree with Katherine - you should try to relax and enjoy your time with your baby.  Apart from anything else, you will learn about his personality and be able to inform the nanny about things she should do, and things to avoid.  Perhaps chat with her about her philosophy.  If you would like her to 'follow' BW, then maybe buy her the book, tell her about this site, or just lay out simply what you want to aim for. 

You might like to go over to the breastfeeding board for more information on your feeding routine.  The feed at 7-7.30 would usually be considered his bedtime feed, rather than a dreamfeed.  A lot of people do a dreamfeed before they go to bed, so around 10 or 10.30.  That usually helps baby get to, say, 3 am, and with a feed at that time, then they are usually able to sleep on til morning.  They do need to feed at night as their stomachs are so small, and this can fluctuate with growth spurts and so on, so it is possible to have a baby go from one night feed up to two or three and then back down again.  You won't risk mixing day and night for him as long as you keep things very low key during night feeds, don't chat to him, don't turn on the main lights, don't change nappies unless absolutely necessary.  The rule of thumb is that if he wakes hungry, feed him, and at this age, I would assume that he is hungry when he wakes.  Here's a bit more on night-time feeds.
Night Feeds and the Breast Fed Baby

Best of luck.