6 days old and trying to avoid becoming a sleep prop!

[A pair of Charlies]

Hello lovelies

I have a 6day old. Light on weight -5lb 8oz. I have to wake to feed (3hish, by the time she starts to feed it's closer to 3h15/3h30). She doesn't wake to feed naturally and takes her time to latch before realising she's hungry.

I followed BW successfully with my older son, with EASY and sleep training. This time around I want to avoid becoming a sleep prop from the start, but we already are fast becoming ones. By the time she's had a BF and nappy change we're straight off to settle for her sleep but she fights shhh patt, and just patt. She almost goes off then eyes pop open again and she cannot settle without a lot of cuddling or, if she she starts crying a lot, another feed...and then she falls asleep...and then wakes up being winded and starts off again.  This means that she feeds almost on the hour every hour over 4hours some evenings before DH can settle her to sleep.

So. My question. What have other experienced BW mothers done that works well? I don't want to be a prop again.  I need to be able to do the school run etc and don't want to have to leave her crying while I sort out DS for school etc. Is it possible? Has anyone achieved it? Or should is AP the only option til she's settled in the big world?

On a side note. Midwives and BF advisors have suggested 3h feed as minimum. I tried 2h30 etc but she just isn't up for it and it kicks of a bad cycle. Some suggested pushing for 3h30 to 4h for feeds to make her crack on feed faster faster (she's a pretty good feeder despite seeming asleep and has regained her birthweight within 6 days).

I've had a lot of advice so far IRL, but all is putting me, DH or the breast as prop. Today I was told to wear her in a sling or carry her all day so she could sleep when likes.

All help appreciated.

Lotta x

[katie80]

Hi, congrats on your new DD!

Or should is AP the only option til she's settled in the big world?

I think there's a lot to this.  I really don't beleive it's AP/prop at this age.  She's so young, she's going to need some extra help to settle... she really is still adjusting to being on the outside. 

I remember wanting to 'start as I meant to go on' with DS and was trying to shh/pat, etc with not much success while he was so young.  He really didn't take to shh/pat until he was about 6/8/10 weeks.  Until then, I would just hold him still, swaddled, and with white noise until I felt him relax and settle a bit in my arms (sometimes all the way to sleep). This didn't lead to any prop issues and when he did start responding to shh/pat, he started settling much quicker and without my help a lot of the time.  I did do at least one fully APd nap a day for a good while with him as well (probably til 6mo or so), just to retain some sanity and be able to meet DDs needs as well.  When he was little, this was in the wrap or carrier, as he got older it was in the swing.  I needed that one time of predictability each day and I actually think it made him more of a flexible sleeper (he sleeps well in lots of situations and could be easily APd when needed without too much of an issue; definitely not the case with my DD, who I was quite strict with AP... of course, they also have totally different personalities ).

As for the feeding goes, I've always followed the 3hr max philosophy until my supply is established, but I know it's not the only way.  I definitely wouldn't battle her to go 2.5hr if she's not wanting it... my DD was super sleepy and no way could I make her eat before those 3hr were up (even that was a struggle sometimes). I do wonder if you did a cluster in the evening, but tried not to feed every hour, that might help with some of the unsettledness and wind.  But, that's also such a normal time for them to be unsettled, sometimes you just ride it out and do what you can.

(((Hugs))), those first few weeks of going back to the newborn stage can be overwhelming.  It sounds like you're definitely on the right track!